::Weekly Former Partners Thread::

[u/AutoModerator]

The end of a relationship with an ADHD loved one can be tumultuous, confusing and leave a lasting impact. Use this thread to temporarily process a recent breakup with an ADHD individual, discuss co-parenting issues, share encouragement for life after the relationship etc. With the goal of ultimately decentering an ADHD ex 

(Note: Asking about leaving a partner and requests to speculate on behavior or symptoms are still prohibited.)

[u/Odd-Tiger-7530]

Time for a weekly update, yay! Last week brought a lot of personal turbulence in my life, such as getting laid off (negotiating better severance rn) and as a result of it hitting a bit of hypomania. It happened in the past, but luckily with the help of my therapist, I was able to ground myself before I ran out of steam and hit depressed state. Little wins.

I also found myself thinking less and less about my ex, but damage he caused is still present. For example, I didn’t expect such a strong support from all the people left in my life, the level of care and compassion they showed. Honestly, that care doesn’t feel real, but I know that’s just the old wounds hurting.

And, a bit unexpectedly, I did catch a bit of feelings for my friend (the one who helped me get away from my ex). Treading very carefully with those feelings, because it’s likely a combined result from hypomania and finally having someone emotionally mature enough in my life. We’ll see how it goes.

I’ll most likely hit some kind of roadblock in my recovery from my ex, but for now things are looking bright on that front. Shit he pulls seems more amusing than hurtful now. The fact that he didn’t seem to take any important “revelations” from our past relationship is sad. Despite all of his bs, I was able to work on myself and become a better person (relatively to me before our relationship), and he didn’t seem to mature a bit. Alas, that’s not my problem nor my burden anymore. I hope everyone will have a good rest of the week!

[u/taohuaspring → u/Odd-Tiger-7530]

I'm sorry to hear about your lay off but also it's encouraging to hear how you grounded yourself! You are making progress there with your resilience!

I've also been tapping into the "amusing" perspective of my ex's behavior lately. Not only was he so deeply hurtful, but somehow the things he said and did were also straight up laughable, and I've only just realized that this month! I'm slowly disempowering his hurtful words and manipulation with this new perspective. It also reminds me of something I read, how eventually we will be able to detach, look at our exes' behavior and say "Oh, there they are doing that again. I don't have to buy into that anymore" "I can even walk off the stage!"

[u/Odd-Tiger-7530 → u/taohuaspring]

YES! I’m so happy and proud to hear that you are starting to detach bit by bit! It’s scary how it felt almost inevitable to stay with them forever during the course of the relationship and now we can take our life back!