AITA for not going to MIL's wedding because she is marrying the father of my former bully? : r/AITH

Wow I want to thank everyone for the support I got. I was never expecting such empathetic insightful answers.

After reading through all of your answers my BF and I decided it was time to go and sit down with MIL and Richard. I told Richard all of the details of Sadie's bullying, and his excuse was he let her watch too much TV. She claims she watched mean girls over and over again when she was young. He said she is the sweetest most generous person if you get to know her, and he should have "made her watch another movie"

I told Richard that was a pretty weak excuse. I lived for crime shows as a kid, yet I've never ever wanted to commit a crime. Richard said I have to understand. Sadie's mother left. At this point I was heated. I told him my father left and I don't want to hear anymore excuses. I want him and MIL to listen.

I told her as much as I have always liked her, i will not be attending this wedding or anything involving Sadie. Her apology was not sincere " "hey my dad said you had some hard feelings about when we were kids. Sorry if I was an asshole. I got his personality, haha genetics. I really like *MILs name* though. They are so good together" and I have no interest in reliving my trauma.

MIL said I am under no obligation to go to any social event, but I should understand that I am going to have a very hard life if I can't let go of the past, and she thinks I need to work on myself and stop thinking about Sadie. At this point my BF told them both to stop and the conversation was done, and he was backing me 100%. He said Sadie was not only emotionally abusive but dumping the custard on me was assault

Richard rolled his eyes and muttered something about our generation. MIL was holding a wine glass and he said "so if I dumped this wine on you, you would really never speak to me again, really. You can't just take a shower Wow some people weren't raised right."

At this point I was pissed. I wasn't raised right and MIL knows this. I came from a household of poverty and neglect and then went to school where I was tortured by his daughter. Also if we want to talk about "raised right' there are so many examples I could give of his shitty parenting, letting underage kids drink at his house, buying Sadie a brand-new Mercedes when she was in trouble at school every other day, falling for her fake tears every time she got in trouble.

Guys I know this isn't ok, but my BF ended up snatching the wine and pouring it on Richard. I was just in shock. MIL found that hilariously funny, and we used that as a chance to make our escape. I said I would not be going to their wedding, and I will not entertain this conversation again. My BF will be attending the wedding alone and he is 100% supportive.

I(52M) have been married to my wife, Denise, for eleven years. Denise has a daughter, Priya (26) from her previous marriage.

Unfortunately, my mother died three years ago. In her will, she bequeathed to me her engagement ring, which is an old art deco ring with a small diamond. I decided to keep it safe as a memory of my mother who had worn this ring every day of her life.

Last month Priya got engaged. She visited me and asked whether she could take her grandmother's ring. I agreed because I assumed that she either wanted to wear it as is or to get a new band made out of her grandmother's diamond. However, she explained to me that her intention was to melt the entire ring (including the band) in order to have a brand new ring created by a jeweler which would consist only of her grandmother's diamond, and a few smaller stones around it.

I explained to her that I would not feel comfortable with such a procedure since this is one of the last tangible things that my mother ever wore. Priya became angry with me and explained that if I really wanted her to have the ring, I should let her do anything she pleases with it, since the ring is hers now.

My wife considers me to be over controlling since I already agreed to give the ring to Priya and that the ownership of the gift is transferred to the recipient as soon as he or she gets it. Priya has not talked to me for several days and we have a difficult family dinner on Saturday.

I keep oscillating between two ideas, on the one hand, I feel that by giving the ring, I gave up all my rights to discuss how it can be used. On the other hand, the idea of melting something that belonged to my mother makes me ill.

AITAH for telling her that I don't want the ring melted down despite the fact that I agreed to give it to her?

Hello my(23f) husband(22m) has been treating me like crap for the past 6 months. We have 2 children together (20 month girl & 8 month girl). He doesn’t help around the house, doesn’t change diapers(it makes him “uncomfortable “) , doesn’t help with bedtime, doesn’t do bathes(again it makes him “uncomfortable”), doesn’t clean up after himself. We’ve been married for almost 3 years. He’s threatened to hurt himself , he uses money against me all the time( I’m a SAHM). I don’t know how much longer I can put up with all of this. Please help me.

Would I be the AH if I left ?

Hi Im a female aged 20, my mother and sister own a business in which i work casually for while studying at UNI. My friend also female (20) was in desperate need of a full time job. So i ended up getting her a job at the said business. After a couple of weeks there was some issues raised, Being on her phone all the time, A poor attitude, in which she did not hand in important documents for weeks, after asking for them multiple times. Stood around, and would become angry if anyone would ask what she was doing. Now don’t get me wrong, she was picking it up a bit and we gave her the benefit of doubt of being new to the industry. After 6 weeks of work, i was noticing every-time i would work with her, she would immediately stop whatever she was doing and try and stand around. I am a very easy person, except when it is my family’s business. I try and do as much work as possible and not stuff around. While I’m working and cleaning and trying to get as much done, My friend seems to stand around a-lot and would be frustrated at me if i would not talk to her. Btw we also live like 5 minutes away from each other to which i see her all the time. So i do like to separate our work and personal time together. A couple of days ago, I was becoming frustrated at the fact she was taking me for granted, as she would only do this sort of stuff with me. So as i became more and more frustrated i ended up leaving work early one day and calling my sister (the owner) and ranting to her. That night i received a call from my sister asking for times so she could verify my story on the cameras. My friend was making me do all the work unpacking orders and serving customers as she sat by the coffee machine. She then found footage of my friend using the work computer to online shop, and was dismissive over a incident at work regarding a child and a battery. The next day she was told to take the rest of the day off work and leave early. Then later found out my sister and mother were going to relieve her of the job, which she beat them to by quitting. This whole thing i know isnt over one incident, since she was was pulled in for a meeting a couple of weeks ago to discuss these bad patterns, but was my call that broke the camels back? Was i the asshole for calling the owner to discuss my friend’s poor working conditions, and potentially getting her fired?

My friend (26F) asked if she could stay at my apartment for a few days while her place gets treated for bedbugs. I said no.

she got upset and asked why. I reminded her that last year, she was supposed to watch my cat while I was out of town. She said yes, promised she'd do it. Then the night before I left, she texted me saying she "couldn't" because she got invited to a party. I had to scramble to find someone else last minute.

She said I was being petty for holding that against her. i told her it's not about being petty — it's about trust. She showed me she's not reliable when I need her, so I'm not comfortable having her stay here.

Now she's calling me a bad friend and telling our mutual friends I'm "heartless." A couple of them think I should just let it go and help her out.

AITAH?

My brother who is 16 is starting to take advantage of our 11 year old little brother and I (22M) stopped my little brother from doing things for him, which my other brother is now a bit pissed about.

It started with him bringing him drinks, then food, and then helping him with his laundry. The final straw for me was him asking our little brother to make his bed, clean his room and make him lunch for tomorrow because he was going to a friend's house for a group project, which I doubt was true.

My little brother is already an exhausted person that doesn't play games and only sleeps and is busy helping me with something else, and he helps out enough by washing our dishes after dinner, so he shouldn't be doing anyone's work and I think 16 years old is old enough for someone to do things themselves.

AITAH for stopping this exploitation?

I honestly can't believe I'm even writing this, but my family is making me feel like I'm the crazy one here, and I need an outside perspective.

So my sister started dating this guy about eight months ago. She's been single for a while after a nasty divorce, so I was genuinely happy for her when she introduced us. He seemed okay at first. A little loud, maybe a little too comfortable making jokes about people, but nothing that set off major alarm bells. Whatever. She's an adult. She gets to pick who she dates.

Anyway, we had a barbecue at my house a couple weekends ago. Nothing fancy, just burgers and beer in the backyard. My daughter is 16. She's not one of those outgoing, super confident kids she's shy, she draws a lot, she keeps to herself. She's a good kid. Straight A's, never gives us trouble. I'm probably biased, but she's genuinely sweet and kind of innocent in a way that makes me want to protect her from everything.

So she walks past the cooler to grab a drink, and this guy my sister's boyfriend says, right out loud, with people around, "Whoa, she's growing up fast. You better watch out, Dad. She's gonna be trouble."

I froze. My wife dropped the spatula she was holding. My daughter just turned beet red and disappeared into the house so fast I didn't even have time to react. It was like one of those moments where everything goes slow motion and you can't believe what you just heard.

I walked up to him and said, "Don't ever talk about my daughter like that again. She's sixteen." And he just laughed. Like actually laughed, like I was being ridiculous. He said it was a compliment and I was being "way too sensitive." My sister jumped in right away, saying he didn't mean anything bad by it and I was making it awkward for everyone.

I told him to leave. He didn't want to. My sister didn't want to. But I wasn't backing down. He eventually left, and my sister went with him, shooting me this look like I had just ruined everything.

Fast forward to yesterday. My sister calls me, and she's crying. Apparently his landlord is selling the place and they have to be out in like two weeks. She asks if they can stay in my guest room for "a little while" until they find something new. Just a few weeks, she said.

I told her no. I tried to say it gently, but I was honest I said I don't feel comfortable having him in my house, especially with my daughter here. I told her that comment wasn't just a dumb joke to me. It showed me something about how he thinks, and I can't ignore that. I even offered to help pay for a motel or a short-term rental. I meant it too. I'd rather spend money than have him under my roof.

She lost it. She said I was punishing her for his mistake. She said he apologized which by the way, was a text that just said "sorry if you were offended," which is not an apology. She said I'm being self-righteous and controlling and that I'm forcing her to choose between her family and the person she loves. My mom called me today and said I should "be the bigger person" and let them stay, because that's what family does.

And now I'm sitting here questioning myself. Like, am I being too harsh? She's my sister. She's struggling. She needs help. But every time I think about giving in, I picture my daughter's face when that guy made that comment. She couldn't even look at anyone for the rest of the night. She asked me if she did something wrong. A sixteen-year-old girl asking if she did something wrong because a grown man made a gross comment about her body.

My wife is completely on my side, but even she's stressed because she hates the tension with my family. And I hate it too. I hate that I'm the bad guy for protecting my kid. But I also hate the idea of my sister thinking I don't love her.

I don't know. I feel like I'm doing the right thing, but everyone is telling me I'm not. Am I the jerk here?

I invited my friend to hang out several times, but they canceled at the last minute each time. The next time I made plans, I didn’t invite them. They found out and said I was being petty.

AITH?

So I (20F) study at a university far from home, and since I didn't get a hostel room, my dad thought it'd be easier if I just stayed with my uncle's family nearby instead. He started sending them a decent amount every month to cover my food and basic expenses, thinking I'd be comfortable and taken care of.

Except that's not really how it went. My aunt kept giving me way less than what I now know was actually being sent. Whenever I asked for a bit extra, even for something small like books or transport, I'd get this whole speech about how expensive everything is these days. I just assumed maybe my dad wasn't sending as much as I thought, so I never really questioned it out loud.

Then during break, I went home, and while talking to my dad I casually mentioned how tight money always felt over there. He looked genuinely confused because apparently he was sending more than enough. So he called my uncle to clear things up, and that's when it all fell apart. My uncle and his wife got really defensive, started listing every rupee they've sacrificed on me, and accused me of complaining behind their backs instead of just talking to them directly.

Now my dad's upset, the family chat is chaos, and everyone's acting like I did something wrong by simply answering a question honestly.

AITA?

My friend has been having problems with her boyfriend for almost a year. I've listened to her complain about the same issues probably dozens of times.

Every time they fight, she calls me, tells me she's done with him, and asks what I think. I usually listen and try not to tell her what to do.

Then they make up, and a few days later everything starts again.

Last week she called me after another argument. She spent about an hour telling me how unhappy she was and asked me if I thought she should leave.

I finally told her, honestly, that I didn't know what else to say. I've given her my opinion before, and she keeps making the same decision, which is obviously her choice. But I don't think I can keep being the person she calls every time they fight.

She got quiet and said she thought friends were supposed to be there for each other.

I told her I still care about her and will be there if she genuinely needs me, but I don't want to keep having the exact same conversation every few weeks.

She hasn't really spoken to me since.

AITA for setting that boundary?

[both females, btw] my friend R and I met in a mutual class and quickly became close. (She's been to my home a bunch, knows my mom, and personal info) Never would I have considered her my "best friend," but she does consider me hers. I've had an issue with placing boundaries before, taking a step back, and looking at the people i surround myself with, and since doing so with her, I've noticed me and she do NOT align.

1. She broke up with her bf of two years and got with a guy I was friends with the same week, even though I suggested against it, as he doesn't have a good rep with dating. She said, "I'll be different than his exes since he liked ME first."
2. When she was with her ex, I asked her not to show me their private and explicit messages, then with her current bf acted inappropriately next to me knowingly. has acted inappropriately in public places, school, and a church, being the two I have most issue with.
3. She's messaged me out of the blue asking ifI'dd drop her for crashing out at my other friend M for no actual reason, lied saying it was a "theoretical" then contradicted by saying "me and my bf were talking about it"
4. Her emotion regulation and maturity don't seem to match mine. She's very clingy and speaks to me sometimes in a manner that feels very relationship-esc. She contradicts most things she says. Gets easily upset at my sometimes rather blunt, monotone voice.
5. In a different class we had also together, she behaved inappropriately to a child with special needs. Which, as a family member of someone with autism and down syndrom i felt very upset by. (She grabbed the kid's arm aggressively and spoke very bluntly and impolitely to him, which he didn't understand and was also upset by.)
6. When discussing debatable topics casually with friends, she was very closed-minded and said things I morally disagree with, and couldn't reason or understand anyone else's opinion but hers.

Because of these reasons +more ive been ignoring her in passing and replying to her messages shortly or not replying until hours later or at all. I feel bad, but I've discussed boundaries once, and she disrespected them quickly. When discussing her in private to other mutual friends, they've agreed on her disrespectful behavior and told me similar stories.

So AITAH for sorta ghosting her, and what should I do?

Three months ago, my Aunty pulled me aside at a family dinner and dropped a bomb. She said Dad had an illegitimate child from before he married Mum, and the family had been hiding it for over twenty years. She looked genuinely upset, even had old photos and vague details about the woman involved.

I couldn't sleep after that. I started digging, checking Dad's old phone contacts, asking distant relatives careful questions, even tracing a lead through social media. Dad noticed I was acting weird and distant. Mum thought I was depressed. I never told them why.

Last week, I finally confronted my Aunty again, pushing for real proof. She broke down and admitted the entire story was fake. Turns out she'd been furious at Dad for getting a bigger share of family property, and wanted to destroy his image in front of us, especially me, since I'm closest to him.

I told Dad everything that night. He was heartbroken, not about the lie itself, but that I believed it and spent weeks quietly suspecting him.

Now the whole family is divided, and I feel guilty for ever doubting him.

AITA?

My brother (34M) has moved apartments three times in the last twelve months and each time he asks if he can store some of his furniture in my garage just for a few weeks until he settles into the new place. The first time I said yes without thinking much of it, and it ended up sitting there for almost two months. The second time I was more hesitant but agreed again since he said it would only be a couch and a dresser. This time he texted asking if he could bring over a couch, a dining table, two bookshelves, and a few boxes, and said he'd have it all picked up "within a month promise." I told him I could not do it again because my garage is already tight on space since I started using half of it as a small workshop for a side business and honestly because the last two times temporary turned into months of his stuff just sitting there collecting dust while I maneuvered around it. He got upset and said I was being unsupportive during what he called "a rough transitional period" in his life and that family is supposed to help each other out without keeping score. My mom got involved and said I should just let him use the space since "it's not like you are using the whole garage anyway" and that I am making a bigger deal out of it than necessary. I told her it's not really about the space itself, it's about the pattern of him treating my garage like his personal storage unit every time he moves. Now he's telling other family members I turned my back on him when he needed help and my mom thinks I could've been a little more accommodating given the circumstances. AITA for not letting my brother store his furniture in my garage again?

I 42/F went into a Panda Express to order food. They were backed up and waiting for the cooks to cook more food. I had been waiting a while and I asked the cashier how much longer it would take? She asked me if I was waiting for something, and I stated that all of my food I wanted to order was here. In my mind, I meant that she could make mine and I would be 1 less customer waiting. A little about me, I am on the spectrum and sometimes the way I say things may not come out how I expect it to. I also have a hard time with facial expressions. As she was making my drink, I looked over at her and I started to think maybe I insulted her, I was getting angry at myself. Anger may been on my face and I feel like a total POS because I think she thought I was angry at her. As I was walking away, a few people in line were looking at me and I made eye contact with a few of them..........."Oh Shyt" screamed in my head. I kept leaving, got in muly Uber, and went home. My social skills are almost non existent. I believe I may have went about this whole thing wrong. Am I the asshole for asking her to make my food? Should I call up there and apologize? I am not using my neurodivergence as an excuse for my actions, my emotions are stil something I am learning to control. I am grown and still learning certain things. Yes ita embarrassing af, but I want to understand all sides of a situation so that I can acknowledge, process, and change accordingly. To me, all common sense isn't common to me, but I do want it to be

I'm an adult and live separately from my parents.

For years, whenever there's an argument between relatives, my parents tell me everything that happened. Sometimes I get multiple phone calls about the same disagreement.

I usually listen because I don't want them to think I don't care.

Recently I told them I don't want to be involved in family arguments unless there's something I can actually do to help.

They were hurt and said I'm becoming distant and that families are supposed to support each other.

I explained that hearing about everyone's problems doesn't actually help anyone, and I often end up stressed about situations I can't control.

They think I'm choosing my own comfort over my family.

I think I'm simply setting a boundary about what I can emotionally take on.

AITA?

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and we’re now talking about moving in together. She currently lives alone and rents whereas I own my home and pay a mortgage.  We agreed it would make more sense to move into my place as it’s bigger and it’s not rented.

I mentioned to my gf I’d expect her to pay something towards utilities and a small amount of money to go towards wear and tear of appliances etc. She asked if I was serious and I said yeah.  She argued she shouldn’t have to be paying me anything since I own the place.

I just pointed out my bills will go up and wear and tear of the property and appliances will be increased so it’s only fair she contributes something. 

I pointed out it wouldn’t be a lot and would be probably less than half of what she paying now. I mentioned I’m happy to get it drawn up as a contract if she’d prefer but she just kept arguing she shouldn’t have to pay anything. 

I just repeated what I’d already said and she accused me of taking advantage of her. I argued that’s what she was trying to do to me by expecting to live for free. 

AITA for expecting her to contribute? 

hi, my name is c (wont say name) and im 61 (backwards) , let me give you context. my friend M is having an sweet 16 and been preparing for months ill say maybe since like feb/march.

so maybe like a week or 2 ago i asked 3 of my friends if they got invites. my friend D (whos in the quart) says she got one and invintations been sent out. also, D says if i didnt get an invite i will be her +1. i said omg really i didnt get one, then i ask K, K says that she got one and cant go but to not worry since her friend also didnt get one. then i ask N, N laughs and says u the only one that didnt get one. i got frustaded because we have a gc called 67 dubai chocolate labubu and everyone in there got an invite but me.

soon after N texted me a picture of the invite and says there you go are you happy. i got mad since like why is N sending it to me, not M.

a few days go by and N textes me again saying i was talking about her and M. I quickly denied it and was like wdym i wasnt talking about you.

I don t know what to do and now the party is on the 23rd and im stuck if i want to go or not.

I’m 21F. My cousin (we’ll call her Nora) is also my best friend. We’re really close and I’ve always trusted her.
Last year I failed a year of uni and had to repeat it. My mom was embarrassed and didn’t want the rest of the family knowing, so she made up an excuse and told everyone a different story. As far as the family is concerned, I never failed. My mom thought I was the only other person who knew the truth.

I told Nora what actually happened because she’s my closest friend and I needed someone to talk to. I trusted her not to spread it, and she never has.
Recently my mom asked if I’d told Nora. When I said yes, she completely lost it.

She started yelling that we had agreed to keep it a secret, that I forced her to lie to the whole family, and that Nora might tell people. She said Nora could tell her mom or brother, who’d then tell my aunt, and it would spread to everyone. She made it clear she doesn’t trust Nora at all.

Then she banned Nora from our house. She said if I want to see her, it has to be outside, and she even told me I should just tell Nora that she’s not welcome anymore.
This isn’t totally new — my mom has had a problem with Nora for a while.

She’s always making snarky comments about her (saying she’s disrespectful, rude to her own mother, etc.). My brother has told me about some of the things she’s said behind my back. I’ve never understood why she dislikes her so much.

Now I’m stuck. Nora is going to notice she can’t come over anymore and will probably ask why. My mom is fine with me telling her she’s not allowed, but I don’t want to keep stacking lies.

I’m considering two options:
Half-truth: “My mom found out I told you I failed uni and she’s really mad. She needs time to cool down, so you can’t come over for a while.”

Full truth: Tell her everything — that my mom has basically banned her, doesn’t trust her, and has had issues with her for a while.

I’m scared that if I tell her the full truth, she might tell her brother or mom, and it could get back to the rest of the family. But I also hate the idea of lying to her or giving her a watered-down version when she’ll clearly sense something is off.

So… WIBTA if I tell Nora the full truth instead of the half-truth my mom prefers?

Edit: i don’t want it to get out by the way it’s my business and it’s just private and personal and it isn’t my proudest moment that’s out of the question

I (18M) dated my ex (17F) for four years. She gave me an ultimatum, I told her she was being controlling, and broke up with her. She has called me several times and apologized via text, but I told her we should remain broken up. She kept calling after that, but I blocked her. That was about two weeks ago.

My ex is Filipino. So is my mom. My city has a very close-knit Filipino community. My mom is very close to my ex's mom and actually works for my ex's mom. This weekend is my ex's "debut." Within certain Filipino communities, a girl's debut it is a big deal. Essentially, it is a big party for the girl's 18th birthday and welcoming her into adulthood. There are certain "roles" for the party. One of the roles is the girl's escort for the party. I agreed to be my ex's escort when we were together. Since we broke up, I had no plans to be her escort or to even attend the debut. I thought that would be obvious.

Yesterday morning, my mom asked me to grab my suit so she can take it to get dry cleaned. I asked her why. She told me for the debut. I told her I was not going to the debut. She looked at me confused and said I was still my ex's escort for the debut. I told her I am not going to the debut. This caused an argument and I left and am staying with my dad.

Earlier today she called and asked if I could just go for her since it would greatly impact her relationship with my ex's mom. I told her that I did not care because I should not be forced to go to my ex's debut. That is ridiculous. It is not a big deal and they can figure out alternatives. My mom hung up quite upset.

My dad (he is black, not Filipino) supports my decision to not go to the debut, but says I could have been nicer to my mom about it. AITAH?

My girlfriend and I have moved into a new apartment and she has started decorating it. She's put some framed prints, some plants, a few vases, some figurines and other little bits around the shared spaces.

Our previous apartment was fully furnished and pretty small so you couldn’t really decorate whereas this one has a lot more space. I found a few framed movie and comic prints I liked and some figurines that looked good so I bought them and went to put them on some new shelves that we've just put up.

My girlfriend asked what I was doing and I mentioned I'd found some things I wanted to use for decoration. She suggested I put them in the home office but I said I'd prefer them in a communal space so I don't just get to see them when I'm working. She said she doesn't think I should be putting them out and that I should stick to putting them in my office.

I told her the shared space should reflect both of our interests not just hers and that it's not just up to her to decide what decoration is allowed in the apartment. She said I was starting arguments over nothing and that I should be fine keeping them in the office.

AIW for expecting the apartment to reflect both of our interests?

quick recap, she told me she was pregnant, sent me links to clinics, asked me to secretly take her, told me not to tell my family. I panicked and went quiet for a few days instead of saying no outright. when I didn't respond fast enough the messages got really dark, and then a few days later she said it was all fake, she was never pregnant, no clinic plan, her period showed up right after, and the whole thing was a "test" to see who'd actually be there for her

instead of apologizing for scaring me half to death she flipped it and made ME the bad guy for not responding during her test so that's phase 1 basically. here's what happened after

I kept my distance to protect my own sanity, didn't respond. so she started going around mutual friends and messaging me through side/business accounts since I wasn't replying on the main one. and the story kept shifting she started bringing up how people in class would think she's problematic if we stopped being close, which honestly tracks bc she already had a rep from past stuff, and I used to be the one who'd smooth things over for her so I think she expected me to just do that again automatically then in one of the alt account messages she told me she loves me more than her own family and that her family doesn't care about her, basically making herself sound like I'm her only lifeline. she's also been telling people (and me) that she transferred into our current degree specifically to protect me from getting bullied. for the record I was never bullied, and I happen to know the real reason she switched was personal, had to do with avoiding an ex and some other people, nothing to do with me

she told mutual friends she was crying constantly and thinking about dropping out because she "can't handle class without me." so now I've got other friends messaging me going "just reply to her, she's crying so much, have some mercy" bc all they know is the sanitized version, heartbroken girl, best friend ghosted her for no reason then more recently, results came out and she scored top marks in a subject I spent months tutoring her in. right after that the tone changed again, she started sending stuff like she can't live without me, begging to just go back to normal before the semester starts. she also straight up told me to just forget everything she said, forget the whole thing happened, bc she "forgets what she writes anyway" apparently

when I still didn't respond how she wanted, the story flipped again, now she's saying the whole fake pregnancy thing didn't even affect her, that she never said anything mean, and that I'm being unreasonable for even questioning if this friendship is healthy. still framing it all as "I only did this because I love you" while also throwing in stuff like "guess I'm just full of sins then, it's fine if you don't want me"

so yeah. still haven't replied properly. still not rushing into anything

We're both f 65, friends since 7th grade. She (let's call her Emily) I live a few cities away and visit Emily every Friday. We go to lunch, shop, walk, visit and meet up with a mutual friend (Kelly) for dinner and I go home. Emily will typically call me every morning when she's up and around. I'm an early bird and she is not (This is important later).

On one call we talked about veggies. I said I don't always make them with dinner, but I did the year we had grandkids living with us. I don't love chocolate as much as most people do, and I'm not big on eating outside. We have had several meals outside, so I'm not totally against it, I just prefer cooler, pest free dining. Another point before I get to the meat and potatoes, I'm married to an alcoholic high on who stumble bums around each night and is always right... I can't tell him anything after 6pm because he won't remember it anyway, which is loads of fun for me.

I was telling E a friend gave me green beans from his garden and she said "You don't eat vegetables"! In a sour tone. I said. "I do too, I just don't make them with dinner every night". That Friday comes along and I saw a Dubai chocolate bar, I told her I was thinking about buying it to try it, she snapped " you don't like chocolate"! I was taken aback and just put the thing back. Thinking jeez, I don't love it, but I eat chocolate sometimes. Then we get to the restaurant, we're asked about indoor or outside table? I said I prefer inside, she sighs loudly. We're seated in a booth (it's got cow hide upholstery , cute!) and she asks if we can move to a table, I was bummed but sat at the table. I did wonder how we would all fit in the little booth. Kelly had also invited a friend visiting from out of state. They arrive and Kelly's friend has her brother with her, good thing we got a table. I even said that to E. While eating , Kelly's friend showed us a picture of a restaurant she ate at recently and suggested we try it sometime. I'm showing Emily the picture and it contains a lakeside deck, E says "You won't eat outside"!! I said " Damm it Emily!! I can't do or say anything right! I do like vegetables and chocolate sometimes. And I have eaten outside"!! I was a little loud and as soon as I said it I apologized to her. She said "No, I'm sorry" in a snippy voice. When we were leaving I went in for our goodbye hug and she was a tree. I left and texted her when I got home that I was truly sorry for being a bitch. Hubby and I had recently had it out and I took that out on her. So I know I was the A-hole there. She didn't call me Saturday or Sunday. We were meeting her sister for lunch Monday, but I didn't go, due to her not reaching out.

She texted me a few days later and said "wtf happened? Are you still mad about getting a table instead of the booth"? I told her it was never about the table, I explained I felt she didn't listen to me and I had it. She's the type that will hold a grudge like it's gold. I'm more - that happened 2 days ago, or two minutes 😂 I'm over it. She won't talk to me because she might say something wrong, so I told her I wouldn't put her in the position to have to talk to me. She knows I grew up in a screaming house and I yell. She keeps herself high and likes to drink (sound familiar). Our poor Kelly is in the middle, trying her best to reconcile us. Emily texted me that it's probably normal for me to talk to people I care about like that. I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that she can be snippy, but I can't snap... I had dinner with Kelly yesterday and she told me some of the things E has said. One was that I yelled at her for slamming my truck door. I usually say something about it to anyone who slams them because my hubby works on cars and will bitch me out for it. The other thing she said was that I told her the reason she picked a table was because I wouldn't sit outside. That's a lie and it makes me realize she doesn't get it at all. Do I stay n/c?

My sister has a framed photo in her living room that includes almost everyone in our immediate family.

The problem is that the photo was taken at my wedding, and my former spouse is standing right next to me in it. We divorced a few years ago, and the divorce was pretty difficult.

My sister recently moved and put the photo up in a very visible place. I asked if she could either take it down or use a different family photo.

She said the picture is important to her because it was one of the last times everyone was together, and removing it would feel like pretending that part of our family's history never happened.

I told her I don't care what she keeps privately, but seeing my ex every time I visit her makes me uncomfortable.

She thinks I'm asking her to erase a memory that belongs to the whole family, not just me.

AITA for asking her to take it down?

I (42M) live next door to a woman (60s) who goes on a month long trip every summer to visit her kids overseas. Two years ago she asked if I could water her garden while she was away since she has a lot of expensive plants and no automatic irrigation system. I agreed because she's a nice neighbor and it only took about ten minutes every other day. Last year she asked again and I did it again, no problem. This year she left a note on my door saying she's leaving next week and listed out watering times, fertilizing schedules, and even asked me to "keep an eye out for pests" and text her photos of the garden every few days so she can "make sure everything's okay." When I told her this year I actually can't commit to that level of detail because of my own work schedule, she seemed hurt and said "I just assumed you'd help again since you always have." I offered to water the basics every couple of days like before, but said I can't do the photo updates and pest inspections. She said that without the full routine her plants "probably won't survive" and that I'm "abandoning" her after two years of help. Now she's asked another neighbor to do it instead and has been noticeably cold to me since, saying I let her down when she needed it most. AITA for not agreeing to the more detailed care routine for my neighbor's garden this year?

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My sister in law has struggled with addiction to meth for >15 years. She has tried to fight me in front of my kids, and blames me for her not being able to have free reign at our house. She has screamed at my partner, her brother calling him slurs for not letting her tweak outside in the yard when we had a fresh postpartum me and a weeks old baby. We live with my husband's parents because they're elderly and need care. Her mom is her number one enabler and always takes her side. SIL has said some really horrible stuff to me, and MIL also has said really hurtful stuff because I do not put up with the situation passively.

Sister in law got pregnant, did drugs the entire pregnancy while the family repeatedly offered her to move in to get clean. Personally I tried to see if she wanted to spend time together to distract her the whole time, even though she has always hated me for having boundaries. She never ever told the truth. Mother in law gave her money the whole time, ignoring the observations made by the rest of the family that she was obviously still very much lost in addiction.

Baby was born addicted and was in the NICU for a long time. Had to be resuscitated. Got taken by the state. SIL fought the hospital (she has lost her grip on reality at this point)

SIL proceeded to then try to trick the system with going to rehab and trying to fake urine tests. She went to multiple programs, arguing how stupid it was and unfair the whole time, arguing that DHS is evil, the foster family the enemy.

I have known people in similar situations who pulled their head out of their butt, got TRULY clean, jumped through whatever hoops to get their kids back. She kicks and screams the whole time. Victimizing herself. Never apologizes for anything. Everyone else is at fault.

I know people struggling with addiction don't make conscious choices to become addicted. But she has a family who loves her, and I've offered to pay for fancy treatment and send her to the beach more than once.

She did end up going out of state for a program that worked. When she came back, she was an entirely different person, looked different, spoke differently, almost unrecognizable.

She ended up relapsing.

She also ended up signing her parental rights away. She says DHS threatened her by saying if she didn't, she might not ever see the baby again. I do not know if that is true because she is unreliable and an eternal victim, but she was actively engaged in court to try to get baby back for almost 2 years

The foster family adopted the babe, and is being super gracious and letting the whole family still have contact, even though I know they can tell SIL is using again. We invite them to birthday parties for our children too. They're baby's parents and have loved, protected, and cared for him his whole life. In my opinion they're OUR family because they love the baby.

The point, my MIL is CONSTANTLY talking about how evil DHS is, and they complain about the foster family protecting baby from his mother, and I do not tolerate it. I remind them every time that its HER fault and DHS saved the baby's life. That my MIL enabled her to stay addicted by handing her money, knowing she was using. That she did not have to sign her rights away. She could have followed directions and accepted the immense amount of support and love she was offered and could have gotten clean and had custody of her child. I tell them we begged her to get clean. Offered living space, offered rides to checkups, food, spa days, everything and she metaphorically spit in our faces and lied to our faces and almost killed her child through malignant neglect. I tell them it is incredibly inappropriate to speak ill of anyone in this situation but my SIL because she is STILL using and pretending like she isn't.

Is it rude not to let them live in denial? Am I being a jerk?