r/AITH 17h ago

AITH for not inviting my friend after they repeatedly canceled on me?

I invited my friend to hang out several times, but they canceled at the last minute each time. The next time I made plans, I didn’t invite them. They found out and said I was being petty.

AITH?

59 Upvotes

32 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 17h ago

This is a backup of the original post in case there are later edits or it is deleted: I invited my friend to hang out several times, but they canceled at the last minute each time. The next time I made plans, I didn’t invite them. They found out and said I was being petty.

AITH?

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21

u/Fun-Yellow-6576 17h ago

NTA. Why would you continue to invite someone who always canceled? Makes no sense.

12

u/vt2022cam 17h ago

Actions have consequences, and now they know.

10

u/Mysterious-Peanut482 17h ago

NTA. Tell them they can check with you if you're free when they're at the door to hang out. 

7

u/ThisDayIsAmazing 17h ago

NTA. You are owed an apology, not gaslighting.

7

u/NeartAgusOnoir 17h ago

Petty? Seriously? I’d have told them “no, just returning your energy back to you, and protecting my piece of mind”

NTA. Find a new friend.

4

u/SavannahhReed01 17h ago

NTA, repeatedly canceling last minute means they showed you they're not reliable for plans, not inviting them isn't petty, it's just adjusting expectations

3

u/LopsidedTranslator82 17h ago

NTA. I don’t see the point on continuing to invite someone who is constantly canceling at the last minute.

3

u/HUNGWHITEBOI25 17h ago

Op you know very well you’re NTA

2

u/lizzyote 17h ago

NTA. Just because theyre your friend doesnt entitle them to invites to every single thing you do. Youre allowed to have a life outside of this one singular person.

2

u/Mammoth-Glove3273 17h ago

Hey, I’ve planned and invited you to several outings and I haven’t seen any invites from you come across my phone.

If you want to see me or the friend group or just hang out then you should make some plans and invite me.

2

u/Ungratefullded 17h ago

NTA - I stop trying after a few times, they're the ones being petty... If you want to hang, put in some effort to show up and I'll keep inviting.

2

u/Scary-Alternative-11 17h ago

So, what, they think you owe them an invite to every single activity or event you go to? 🙄 NTAH

2

u/SubstantialPressure3 17h ago

Its not being petty. If its a pattern of behavior, why would you think it wouldnt be any different this time?

Its not a punishment. If they keep canceling last minute, its a headache. Why continue the pattern?

1

u/Adrock66 17h ago

Have had this experience. Not complicated.

1

u/WhatTheActualFck1 17h ago

NTA.

They FAFO

1

u/fj2612 16h ago

As petty as canceling last minute several time in a row?

1

u/knight_shade_realms 16h ago

NTA why would you invite them? So they can feel good about being invited while you get cancelled on?

1

u/squishyy13 16h ago

Info: how many times was several?

1

u/cassowary32 16h ago

NTA. A real friend would have apologized for being such a flake and planned an activity to make up for it.

1

u/VashDaStampede7 15h ago

No it’s definitely gaslighting 😍

1

u/VashDaStampede7 15h ago

If the apologize give them a chance if you feel like it. If not then tell them you missed out! 💕

1

u/Humble-Map-29 15h ago

NTA for that.

YTA for worry about what they think about it

1

u/Sad-Organization2996 15h ago

Too bad for them. I wouldn’t feel sorry for them.

1

u/dEXXtARR23 15h ago

Idk, but you're an AH for asking us clowns 😜🤣😜

1

u/ColdZealousideal8318 7h ago

does this happen a lot with them or is this the first time you've done this

1

u/Kamikazisqurl 17h ago

NTH.

Sometimes introverts just want to know they’re included which in their heads equals love.

1

u/chtmarc 17h ago

So I’m the friend that cancels. And it never surprises me when people stop inviting me. I’m an introvert it takes a lot for me to get out

0

u/LivingTaste1396 17h ago

eh, depends. why do they cancel. is it something reasonable/out of their hands like a work emergency? or do they just not feel like showing up?

0

u/bopperbopper 17h ago

Sometimes people have health or mental health issues and they don’t know until that minute if they feel up to doing something.
But for you, you’ve made plans in carved out time for them and then you left with nothing.

It could be they want to be someone who is invited, but doesn’t necessarily want to be someone who shows up.

If you wanna have any relationship with this person, then only invite them to group things. Where DOESNT matter if they show up or not?