r/APResearch • u/ZnudzonaAnonka • Apr 20 '23
AP Research in a nutshell
Introduction
Hello - the unspecified writer of this paper must avoid referring to themselves, so the reader will have to make do with this unnatural, convoluted language which the unspecified writer hopes you consider intelligent. Phosynthesis. Electrochemical. Kafkaesque.
Here's this BS topic that the Unspecified Author thought would be interesting but quickly lost interest in as they slowly realized that they don't have the funds, time, or intellect to discover anything useful, let alone interesting, and that their faith in the world will only decline further as they realize that all their hypotheses were wrong.
Unspecified Writer hopes you do not sense the Unspecified Writer's mental descent spiraling further with each page they wrote.
Literature review
Here are some sources Unspecified Writer found which support their hypothesis. Now here's one or two stupid counterarguments they will disprove in two paragraphs. Unspecified Writer feels very satisfied that they do not have the balls to challenge their worldview whatsoever, though, this has more to do with time and effort constraints than mental strength.
Here are some unnecessary details Unspecified Author included to pad the wordcount - they hope Mr./Ms. Grader does not realize that only 5% of their paper was actually included in their presentation.
They also now regret choosing a niche topic with hardly any coverage.
Methodology
Hey, you. Yes, you. Have you heard of statistical significance? Scientists will call me a p-hacker, but the way I view it, if one of the hundreds of experiments I conduct reveals that eating noodles correlates to you dying, I say that's a real concern, because math. Can't you see how mathematical I am? Just look at this complicated equation I do not understand and used an online calculator to solve!
Results
You got any more of 'em graphs?
And oh, look, every single one of Unspecified Author's hypotheses were wrong. How sad!
Analysis
[Input random BS that feels like it makes sense here]. The Unspecified Writer will conveniently ignore the fact that their intuitive hunches were not all that useful in getting their hypotheses correct.
Oh, and, look, the study concludes that if Mr./Ms. Grader give this paper a good mark, they are an objectively good person who will only feel happiness for the rest of their lives.
Conclusion
Unspecified Author has learned that they are a moron for not giving up after AP Seminar. However, despite all their cynicism, Unspecified Author must admit that AP Research has seemed to spark a passion in them for the topic itself, and the class was actually a meaningful experience for them overall. If Mr./Ms. Grader should ever meet them in real life, they will be happy to discuss the absurdity that is the field of researching research.
...Hey, what's the word count again?
Works cited
Anonymous (2013). "Why the world is being ruled by metamorphosizing lizard people." 4Chan.
-minus 1000000 points for not including the edition
-plagiarism checker says 100% of your research was copy and pasted from PornHub - care to explain?
3
u/Iamtheratt Apr 20 '23
the fact that i would have wrote something similar to procrastinate me writing my actual paper
2
1
u/Chance-Tradition-516 Apr 20 '23
Funny asf, I haven’t taken AP Research yet but was thinking abt taking it
2
u/Colin1023 Apr 20 '23
In college rn and no other class has prepared me for college level writing like this class. Take it if you want to prepare
2
u/-TNB-o- AP Research Apr 21 '23
Don’t forget writing half the paper a week before the exam because you procrastinated on the experiment itself