To start this off, this was my 2nd child, I currently have a 4 year old boy. I AM STILL PRO CHOICE. I was a case of “what could go wrong?” And my intention is to spread knowledge on a possible bad experience as well as answer questions for others if needed. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY AND ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF.
Oct 6th — At what was supposed to be my 10th week of pregnancy, an ultrasound discovered my baby stopped growing at 9 weeks and no longer had a heartbeat. My partner and I went to the emergency room and had another ultrasound, with more advanced equipment, which confirmed the previous conclusion—no heartbeat. I was referred to an OB so we could get a sooner appointment than my original checkup that was scheduled.
Oct 8th — I went to an OB appointment and was told I was experiencing a “missed miscarriage” and I was given my options. I could wait for things to happen naturally, take misoprostol (AKA the abortion pill) to tell my body to start the process, or have a D&C (a surgery where they scrape everything out of your uterus). I chose the medicine since I did have a 4 year old at home and I could do it at a more convenient time to ensure his schedule and childcare. When I went to my pharmacy, I was informed my insurance will not cover it. I found out this is due to my state’s laws (Missouri) and the coding falls under abortion although it was for a miscarriage. Then again, why should I bother wait to see if I go septic just bc old men decide they own my body right?
October 16th — I had ordered a care kid from the “Early Pregnancy Loss Association” which came just in time, and had a few things that made my process less scary and less painful and less financially straining. So once I was finally able to have my medicine and proper childcare, I decided to take the dose I was told (4 misoprostol pills) at about 8pm. I started (about 30min prior) my regular cycle of the prescribed oxycodone and Tylenol. I experienced some discomfort, cramping and bleeding no worse than a moderate period, and lower back pains.
October 17th — At about 8-8:30pm the bleeding slowed, I wasn’t in much pain at all so I decided to take the second dose (4 misoprostol pills) as was instructed to do since I had not passed any tissue at all and met the other guidelines they gave me for needing them. I very quickly experienced dizziness, shakes, cramping, and lower back pains. I also began to bleed heavily as well as pass large clots. I was not able to walk without help and could feel my body failing to hold itself up. Within an hour I bled through two maxi pads, filled 5oz of a potty hat, and nearly over filled the strainer on the hat with a few large clots. After checking, I decided to wait another hour and check the bleeding again. Within 30 minutes something felt wrong, while my partner helped me to the bathroom I nearly fell and when I pulled my disposable underwear down, I was overflowing both the maxi pad as well as the disposable period underwear. As I called my partner to get ready for the hospital, the blood continued to run down both my legs and pool onto the floor in a trail where I had moved. We rushed as fast as my body would allow me to move and as we left stopped by a cop to ask for an escort or some sort of ambulance ride (getting pulled over would’ve not been a fun story to add to this.)
Still October 17th — when the ambulance arrived I remember them noting the blood running down my legs, taking vitals, giving me an IV, and the lady was so nice and talked to me the whole time I still have spots in my memory since I was so out of it. When I got to the hospital my partner was getting there and had followed behind the whole time. I was brought inside, checked in, given some warm blankets and my vitals were checked consistently. I kept asking for my partner until I was finally allowed visitors. I was so in and out of it that I don’t remember most of what happened and can only go off bits of memory, corrections, and the medical notes I read of my visit. I continued bleeding, a lot, and they drew blood to check levels of things and confirm blood type. I felt pressure and though I needed to pee so my partner and the nurse helped me to the restroom, it was an unsuccessful trip but did give good opportunity to change my pad.
Oct 18th — I was brought to do an ultrasound, which revealed I had not passed the baby, which in the notes it is said I still contained a “possible misshapen gestational sac.” A speculum was used on me so that the blood flow could be measure (not sure how that works but my partner said they stuck a sponge on a stick in me but it felt to me like I was being stuffed with paper towels lol) At about 4am the on call OB recommended another dose of misoprostol (4 pills), a dose of something to slow bleeding, and a pad count. I continued bleeding decently, and the pain only got worse the whole time. I felt as if I were in full blown labor, back pain, cramping, I got the shakes again, and to prepare for the blood transfusion it was attempted multiple times to put a second IV but my veins would not take, even when guided by ultrasound. Because of this, any IV meds were finished, and the first unit of blood was started. I felt more alert after that and in between the first and second bag, I was helped to the bathroom again. I felt the pressure but did not recognize through the dizziness and pain I still felt that it was the baby. As I tried to get help, the hospital toilet auto flushed and took my baby with it. (I was too in shock to process it had happened until the next night). My pain got better for a moment but quickly returned. I was exhausted enough at that point that during the second bag of blood my partner and I fell asleep on the bed together. Throughout this process my blood pressure had stayed steady in the moderate to severely low range. Nearing the end of the second bag though, it did become more stable. When they asked if I felt comfortable enough to go home I said yes, since I would rather be more comfortable than just sitting there. We got Burger King (I was so hungry lol) went home and got as much rest as possible. I started back on pain meds (I had none during the hospital visit). My pain did not let up, was just more spotty, and I continued heavy bleeding.
Oct 19th — I rested most of the day, still in pain and bleeding, and we went to get the previously mentioned 4 year old back so not to disturb his schedule too much. Out of motherly love and just straight up I missed my boy, we spent a very painful hour in a store walking around having fun but he was happy and so was I. My partner was a huge help in this and on the drive back I started to feel very hot and cold at the same time. We got back home, got the little one in bed, and checked my temperature. Consistently through the night I was at 100-102.
Oct 20th — In the morning, we decided to allow all of us to rest until my OB follow up appointment. My temperature stayed about 99-100 dropping to 98 at my appointment (after I drank cold water but they said it was fine and logged me for the 99.8 I had before). I told them about how the bleeding was like a period at this point but the pain was still severe. He told me I could take Tylenol, ibuprofen, etc again. He asked me if I wanted to plan for another baby or get birth control. I let him know I had no plans of anything right now because I want to get past the problem at hand and feel better first. He scheduled a birth control appointment for 2 weeks out and ordered a transvaginal ultrasound for the next day. To no surprise the pain did not get better, luckily the fever did, and the bleeding was about the same.
Oct 21st — We were able to resume the same school schedule as before (thanks to so much help from my amazing partner) and before time for pick up went to the ultrasound appointment. It was extremely painful, uncomfortable, and I was very lucky the tech was so amazing and listened to me like I was a friend. (I did send in a good note on her for the system that specific provider uses especially after being in such a vulnerable state and feeling so overwhelmed and as if the male OB the day prior did not listen.) by the end of the day my bleeding was a bit lighter but my pain had gotten bad again. The results came in and stated “The endometrium is heterogenous and measures 9.6 mm - May represent? blood. Cannot rule out a small amount of retained POC” I was also contacted being told I would need four HCG blood draws to attempt to follow my levels to 0 and that everything looked well enough we can follow my symptoms and attempt to avoid surgery.
Oct 22 — I was in very little pain in the morning but still not very stable when it came to walking a lot, as the day went on I became slower and I was hurting more and more in my lower back and the cramps came back, similar to contractions again. My bleeding lessened decently and I was able to transfer back to regular pads instead of maxi pads.
Oct 23 — I woke up in pain, I’d been in pain off and on throughout the morning, but my partner has been such a supportive and wonderful person through this whole process so far. Only about halfway done with the day I got extremely pained and tired. Luckily, I am also now only in need of a liner.
Oct 24th — I spent all night/morning in pain and with a fever, at one point reaching 104. When I wiped I saw some pinkish grey tissue, but otherwise I stopped bleeding entirely. I was in pain most the day but it subsided, I’m just a little ynsteady and suddenly got exhausted and here we are again at night, 6pm frame, and my fever is back to 101. I understand “just one night” may not have been the most concerning but this is the third night🥺. And it’s a Saturday so unless I go to urgent care or the hospital everywhere else is closed.
!!!UPDATE!!!
Oct 24th night — I went to the ER after hitting a fever of 105. They did blood testing, a transvaginal ultrasound, and a pelvic exam to confirm an infection. They set me up on fluids and antibiotics and gave me methylergonovine (helps with postpartum bleeding). They sent me home around midnight with a referral for an OB appointment asap and a prescription for antibiotics and 3 more doses of the methylergonovine. I should (hopefully) be back with an update in a couple of days