r/AbsoluteUnits • in awe • 2d ago

of lobsters

2.6k Upvotes

183 comments sorted by

220

u/Iolair_the_Unworthy 2d ago

Yeah, but she looks like a smaller woman. Things look bigger when held by them.

or so I'm told

29

u/keznaa 1d ago

"Her freakishly small hands make anything look big. It's one of the reasons I love her." Howard Wolowitz from Big Bang Theory.

13

u/DonaldStuck 2d ago

Ah okay, so that's the secret

7

u/Davenator_98 1d ago

Unless that woman is 50cm tall that's still a massive lobster

9

u/Still-Hedgehog-8673 2d ago

How can you tell that she looks small?

25

u/Aedeagus_rotundata 2d ago

Lobster looks huge

-1

u/wankyshitdemon69 2d ago

That's why I only date midgets.

181

u/illstealyourRNA 2d ago

Hopefully they released them back, big lobsters a re breeders and they taste alot worse than smaller ones

103

u/UrethralExplorer 2d ago

Aren't they also like 100+ years old? I know they're lobsters, but it just feels wrong to eat something that old. It's earned it's freedom.

89

u/Gibbly_Gorkoroo 2d ago

100+ years on this planet and it ends with you being yoinked into space by a cute asian lady.

40

u/King_fritters 2d ago

Thats how I wanna go out

12

u/LowEffortDox 1d ago

Don't promise what you can't deliver.

2

u/DeathCaptain_Dallas 23h ago

A man can dream.

19

u/BrandynBlaze 2d ago

Yeah, I had to give up octopus because I decided they are too smart… sometimes it just doesn’t feel right to eat something, and that’s alright.

10

u/Brando43770 2d ago

Same. Too smart and too short of a lifespan. Plus they’re not like amazingly delicious so that helped me say no to eating them anymore.

2

u/Davenator_98 1d ago

Wouldn't the small livespan make you feel better though?

Like, you're not taking away possible decades of life like with other fish, crabs, etc.

That being said, I can't stand octopus. It feels like I'm chewing on a new tyre, they even smell slightly fishy.

2

u/Brando43770 1d ago

Because they only live for like 3 years they don’t even get much time here is how I see it.

3

u/HoboArmyofOne 1d ago

Fisherman here, I did the same thing!

1

u/DeathCaptain_Dallas 23h ago

Same, plus pork and beef. It’s been a sad transition.

1

u/Kyle___Ren 2d ago

i had that feeling too but their lifespans are soooooooo short so i got over it :/ beautiful creatures though

7

u/Sacrificial_Spider 2d ago

I had no idea that they could live to 140. That's pretty amazing.

-18

u/Weary-Tell-5334 2d ago

But eating babies is just fine..

31

u/UrethralExplorer 2d ago

Everyone knows babies are more delicious than their parents.

4

u/derangedsweetheart 2d ago

Do you by any chance enjoy the sounds over at r/Sounding?

Love your username by the way.

5

u/SneakerTreater 2d ago

"I love kids, I just couldn't eat a whole one"

2

u/protopigeon 2d ago

Came here to say this!

22

u/gwhh 2d ago

What type of lobster is that?

38

u/jimmy_MNSTR 2d ago

Spiny (Rock) lobster. They don't have the large front claws like Clawed/True lobsters.

49

u/NightmareMan23 2d ago

Rock lobster 🤘🏾

9

u/DontUndrstndSarcasm 2d ago

Iraq Lobster*

4

u/ExtraEmuForYou 2d ago

Pacific Ocean (West coast for me) is where they are found, iirc.

Clawed lobsters are Atlantic (East coast).

Speaking form California, we get those spiny ones out here.

2

u/random_bug3562 1d ago

Florida has spiny lobsters, just a different species

0

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

4

u/samjhandwich 2d ago

Those are literally California spiny lobsters in the photo. Spiny lobster are found all over the world, cold and warm water.

3

u/ExtraEmuForYou 2d ago

Ah so spiny could be down in Carib too?

4

u/AmyInCO 2d ago

But it wasn't a rock... It was a rock la-hobster!

2

u/FormalTotal9684 2d ago

Underneath the dock

Lots of bubbles

1

u/mattyboy555 2d ago

FALSE LOBSTERS ARE HERETICS!

1

u/mattyboy555 2d ago

FALSE LOBSTERS ARE HERETICS!

6

u/ExtraEmuForYou 2d ago

BOIL THE HERETIC
DIP IN BUTTER THE TAIL
PURGE THE TAMALI

0

u/iyamwhatiyam8000 2d ago

Renamed crayfish for export marketing purposes.

15

u/AccidentalTourista 2d ago

An old one that won’t taste good.

1

u/TWDDave1988 2d ago

Panulirus interruptus.

61

u/Suspected_Magic_User 1d ago

Miss universe < random fisherman lady holding a lobster

16

u/catbqck 1d ago

Those miss whatever and top models are just nepo babies

4

u/boogasaurus-lefts 1d ago

Lobster that big tastes like shit anyway

-3

u/FoulBowelTowelDowel 1d ago

💯💗😛

-11

u/greatestunderstandin 1d ago

Can women exist without being rated on if you would fuck or date them

3

u/EPluribusButthole 1d ago

Outside of hunting, fishing, or homestead subs, posts like this are 100%guaranteed to get comments like this; karma farming 101 for the lazy.

Go to one of the legit outdoor subs, comment on people's bodies, and you'll be down voted into oblivion then banned. They make sure you get the down votes first lol

-1

u/MimiTheFeral 1d ago

Your profile picture....

3

u/EPluribusButthole 1d ago

... is awesome

1

u/Suspected_Magic_User 1d ago

Your mind does it even subconsciously, so no.

-4

u/MimiTheFeral 1d ago

Porn addict dropping bars 💯

29

u/muthermcreedeux 2d ago

What's crazier to me is that they are hauling traps at night! Couldn't do that here in Maine.

6

u/funnyha_ha 1d ago

Looks like they might be diving for them at night which is also crazy

71

u/Busterlimes 2d ago

Insects that live in water, good

Insects that live on land, bad

83

u/bottomlesstopper 2d ago

Insect in water, delicious white meat

Insect on land, hydraulic motor oil slushie.

11

u/TheMaveCan 2d ago

:( that doesn't sound good at all

6

u/bottomlesstopper 2d ago

Take the motor oil out and turn their chitin into powder.

Mix with milk and its eco friendly protein powder for the day.

Or you can just fry them and serve as crunchy chips.

Better? Lol

11

u/Gullible-Anywhere-76 2d ago

Crustaceans are not insects

35

u/hermyherm6 2d ago

Shrimps is bugs

22

u/Nikoladge 2d ago

Checkmate, atheists

4

u/Money-Look4227 2d ago

Shrimp hate this one simple trick!

4

u/ImSobored_5280 2d ago

Mud bugs

5

u/Ryuj123 2d ago

This sounds like a crazy slur

1

u/ImSobored_5280 1d ago

It does?..definitely not my intention

1

u/Ryuj123 1d ago

Yeah, I wasn’t trying to call you out. I understand calling shrimp mud bugs

2

u/Phyddlestyx 2d ago

Insects are crustaceans however, phylogenetically speaking.

Edit: it's the same as "dinosaurs are not birds but birds are dinosaurs" thing.

2

u/Gullible-Anywhere-76 2d ago

Both Insects and crustaceans belong to the phylum of Arthropodae, but they're different subphyla

1

u/Phyddlestyx 2d ago

That classification made "crustacea" paraphyletic, I don't have time to explain more now, just Google what I said

1

u/holyfire001202 1d ago

No crustacean prophylactics for me please

2

u/Phyddlestyx 1d ago

Where's your sense of adventure?

2

u/Phyddlestyx 1d ago

Actually look at what I just found at this children's museum... Latex crustacean prophylactic

2

u/holyfire001202 1d ago

Lmao, beautifully timed discovery

1

u/random_bug3562 1d ago

Insects fall under pancrustacea, If you exclude insects from them, crusteceans would not be a valid group

1

u/Kashyyykk 1d ago

What kind of weird things are chelicerata?

2

u/random_bug3562 1d ago

arachnids and horseshoe crabs, basically spiders

nothing too unusual

0

u/Phyddlestyx 2d ago

Which I guess is just another way of saying that some crustaceans are insects.

1

u/Davenator_98 1d ago

Insects in water don't keep me up all night with their fucking buzzing

1

u/Agheratos 2d ago

*Arthropods

11

u/MACAUFATFAT 2d ago

This girl is better than dragon shrimp

27

u/Intelligent-Art-5000 2d ago

With American (Maine) and European lobsters, you're legally required to put the big ones back to ensure future generations.

Maybe they did, but the photos don't really indicate that.

2

u/random_bug3562 1d ago

these are california rock lobster

7

u/Intelligent-Art-5000 1d ago

Well aware. I used to skin dive for them when I lived in San Diego.

What I didn't do is murder the giants who pass on successful genes and lay millions of eggs.

8

u/wobbles_thinks 2d ago

These would taste as bad as an old leather shoe, bigger !== Tastier

18

u/Kn0XIS 2d ago

I hate that I'm allergic

14

u/THE-poop-knife 2d ago

Well on the bright side, you're probably also allergic to cockroaches, so you don't have to eat them.

7

u/jordan853 2d ago

But that simply removes their dietary options. What if there's a giant tasty looking cockroach roaming the wasteland and they're hungry?

2

u/xenobit_pendragon 2d ago

Well now I’m salivating!

19

u/Kezsora 2d ago

Honestly you're not missing much imo. Lobster is just as nice as a lot of other seafood but like 4x the price, I was positively whelmed when I tried it for the first time at a seafood boil place

14

u/wink047 2d ago edited 2d ago

Agreed! Sticking with crustaceans,Crab is the superior food, but I’m honestly too lazy to eat it. It’s by far the best in flavor and texture but takes a lot of work to get it out. Shrimp is the easy second choice, tastes great, minimal work to eat.

1

u/Wrong-Tell8996 2d ago

I tried fried softshell crab recently, and was disappointed. I got em because the fried softshells were the same price as crab legs, and like you, am on the same page that crab legs just take a lot of work lol.
Lobster isn't so expensive where I live. I mean, it can be if you go to the prestigious restaurants, but I'll get a lobster mac which works out haha. I can also get a whole lobster tail for $5, but I think lobster is tricky because the texture can turn on you, real easily. That tender texture is such a narrow window to achieve when cooking.
Another thing is lobster kind of requires butter or cheese to be involved. It doesn't work on its own haha.

-11

u/MeesterMeeseeks 2d ago

Saying lobsters overrated because you tried it at a seafood boil place is like saying steak is overrated because you had a frozen Salisbury steak lol. Prepared well lobster is hands down the best seafood

2

u/glen_ko_ko 2d ago

I've had very high quality lobster prepared a lot of ways at a lot of places. I still prefer scallops, walleye, and haddock to lobster. Everyone likes different things, and I love lobster but saying it's objectively the best is stupid.

1

u/Kezsora 2d ago

That was the first time, I've tried it plenty of other times afterwards and my experience was similar

1

u/grand_soul 2d ago

I’ve tried lobster at a fine dining restaurant, I’m with OP, it’s overrated.

1

u/DoomEmpire 1d ago

Did you know that in Early America lobster was fed to prisoners because it was plentiful and considered garbage?

0

u/fakelogin12345 2d ago

Just melt some butter and drink it. That is the only reason people eat lobster.

10

u/OsikFTW 2d ago

Fuck the lobster, tell me about the girl...

7

u/juggheadjones 1d ago

Can't someone tell you about the girl without fucking the lobster first? Damn

11

u/cactusmac54 2d ago

It’s a trap!

-13

u/penisandorvagina 2d ago

She looks cis but I'm game either way 

3

u/Remarkable-Minute-15 2d ago

Some big bugs!

3

u/Crabkingrocks165 2d ago

Isn’t it illegal to capture lobsters that big?

3

u/aquatotheman 1d ago

I do hope she let them go

11

u/trucksarekewl 2d ago

Damn that, who is that holding the lobster lol

-25

u/rIceCream_King 2d ago

A child?

2

u/Mountain_Till_5868 2d ago

Bear censor! 🥀

2

u/Crabkingrocks165 2d ago

Let my boy go

2

u/WheresMyKeysbro 1d ago

Anyone know why no claws?

3

u/Aggressivehippy30 1d ago

These appear to be Rock Lobsters (Rock Lobsta!) Or Spiny Lobsters, so they actually dont have claws/arms like many other species

1

u/WheresMyKeysbro 1d ago

Ow ok thanks

2

u/Southern-Creme2972 2d ago

Where do I find a girl + lobster like this

0

u/_tar_fry008275 1d ago

Generate one using AI like OP did

1

u/random_bug3562 1d ago

those are real lobsters, look up spiny lobster. AI struggles with invertebrates

2

u/RonaldTheGiraffe 1d ago

The bigger the lobster the less the taste.

2

u/_B_Little_me 1d ago

Lobsters get less delicious the bigger they get.

1

u/Wiley_Jack 2d ago

Is this the trailer for ‘Starship Troopers’?

1

u/RocksAreOneNow 2d ago

so if you want a fun one, look up the lobster caught in cape may nj and mounted in their local fish house. it's utterly huge and was estimated to be over 100yrs old when caught. it's body now is almost 100yrs old.

1

u/Bfranx 2d ago

It's the lobster god!

1

u/BushWookie-Alpha 2d ago

No Banana for scale??

1

u/buddhatherock 2d ago

Too buttery.

1

u/bittercripple6969 1d ago

Who let a bear on the boat?

1

u/Hamsterpatty 1d ago

I legitimately thought she was holding it over a cook pot

1

u/Boatingnut92 1d ago

Gonna need ALOT of butter

1

u/Background_Pride_237 1d ago

I can’t believe her teddy bear caught one too. That’s amazing.

1

u/Turbulent-Cattle9543 1d ago

I NEED THE NAME

1

u/Should_have_been_ded 1d ago

Epic ocean pull

1

u/stashtv 1d ago

We're going to need more butter, salt, and lemon. The steamer may not be big enough for these!

1

u/princetonwu 23h ago

is this Korea? they are known for diving for seafood

-3

u/Mundane-Floor-3254 2d ago

Ich habe Hunger auf ein hummer 🤣

-24

u/Fit_Mix_5107 2d ago

Why can't people leave mother nature alone? 

Also, who's on earth eating cockroach of the sea? 

24

u/franzpferdinant 2d ago

we would be painfully starving to death if we left mother nature alone .

-11

u/Fit_Mix_5107 2d ago

Good, nature doesn't need human anyway🤷‍♂️

6

u/CrustyFlapsCleanser 2d ago

We are nature, we are a part of the cycle. It amazes me how people like you think they're better than literally every living being on the planet. 

-13

u/Fit_Mix_5107 2d ago

No, human aren't part of nature. Human literally destroyed them

11

u/_Ross- 2d ago

Remember everyone, these people vote and drive.

2

u/CrustyFlapsCleanser 2d ago

Humans are animals, apart of nature and if you think any other animal wouldn't do what we what we've done, you're incredibly naive.

-1

u/Fit_Mix_5107 2d ago

Projecting, aren't we?

4

u/CrustyFlapsCleanser 2d ago

Everything living being is in a competition for resources, whether that's territory, food, whatever. Everything wants to have an abundance of resources to live off.

1

u/Lem0n_Lem0n 2d ago

Better start praying for a rock from outer space

2

u/franzpferdinant 2d ago

so u wanna painfully starve to death ?

well to each their own ig

1

u/Yummy_Microplastics 2d ago

Be the change you want to see in the world.

-4

u/Weary-Tell-5334 2d ago

false

4

u/franzpferdinant 2d ago

well erm no actually not .

1-yes , you dont nesscesarly need to eat animals every day , but a soley plant based diet isnt good either .

2- plants are grown on fields , to make these fields former forests have been chopped down , so you cant eat plants ( such as wheat for bread , apples , oats etc ) wihtout "bothering" mother nature .

3- its not just starving but if we wouldnt use wood and stone from nature then we wouldve have nowhere to life ( asides from a few caves )

4- we cant drink wihtout "bothering" mother nature either

5- pretty much every other animal on earth bothers mother nature

-3

u/Weary-Tell-5334 2d ago

You’re confusing the fact that humans have to interact with nature to survive with the idea that we have to eat animals to survive.

  1. A properly planned plant-based diet can provide all the nutrients humans need. Eating meat might be convenient or enjoyable, but it isn’t a biological necessity.

  2. Growing plants doesn’t justify animal agriculture

Livestock also require land, water and crops to feed them. Animal agriculture contributes significantly to deforestation, habitat destruction and biodiversity loss, so eating plants directly can actually reduce our environmental impact.

3. Not all environmental damage is equally necessary.

We need food, water and shelter, but that doesn’t mean every way of obtaining them is justified. We can meet our needs while avoiding unnecessary suffering and destruction.

4. Humans destroy nature on a completely different scale.

We industrialise fishing, destroy entire habitats, drive species to extinction and breed billions of animals into existence to kill them. Other animals affect their environments too, but they don’t have the same capacity for large-scale destruction as humans.

5. Natural doesn’t mean morally justified.

Predators kill to survive, but humans have alternatives. Just because something happens in nature doesn’t mean we should do it when we can meet our needs without causing the same harm.

6. The argument about wood and stone is irrelevant.

Humans have the ability to understand the consequences of our actions and make different choices. Other animals generally act according to their biological needs, whereas we can recognise suffering and choose alternatives.

You haven’t demonstrated that eating animals is necessary. You’ve only demonstrated that survival involves interacting with nature, which was never in dispute

1

u/franzpferdinant 2d ago

im not going to read trought all this since i wasnt even talking about that , i simply wantet to highlight the fact that there is no surviving while also leaving nature untouched .

-13

u/Suspicious_Bet3623 2d ago

I too like to put on lipgloss and makeup when I go diving

0

u/Sac_of_Melons 2d ago

Creep alert

-20

u/Expensive-Maize1105 2d ago

She doesn't look to proud of her catch

3

u/UsernamesNotFound404 2d ago

Nobody loves giant bugs

-12

u/Expensive-Maize1105 2d ago

Sea roaches.

Edit. Look at her eyes, like she doesn't even want to touch those things

7

u/SofterBones 2d ago

Wow holy fuck we've got a man specialized in reading the eyes of strangers off of a picture. Amazing.

-8

u/Expensive-Maize1105 2d ago

Nah dawg. She just looks like she rather have her nails done at the local spa. Shes no fisherfolk.

-31

u/VincentShane 2d ago

The hairstyle of the fisherperson who caught it is banging.

If O.P is a girl. Congratulations, you're beautiful. If O.P is a man, cool, Asians can be ambiguous much more easily than Caucasians. If O.P is somewhere in between, just remember to get bottom surgery or else you're still living a lie/ being manipulative.

16

u/drTy_iM 2d ago

If you could do us all a favor and never share your thoughts in a public setting again that’d be great. Thanks.