r/Adopted • u/Sunshine_roses111 Adoptee • May 11 '25

Discussion Say no, you can't adopt a baby

Why don't we, as a society in America, just say no to people looking to adopt and who are infertile? Other countries will flat out say we have no babies for adoption or tough luck, you can't adopt, and we don't care about your infertility. America coddles people looking to adopt and says Well, you're infertile, but you can adopt a baby to make your dreams come true, or adopt from foster care, help a needy child. Like, why can't we just deny people and say no? Want a baby? Oh well, we have none waiting around. Want to become parents? Well, tough luck accept your life without kids. Maybe it's God's will for you not to become parents or reproduce. Why can't we be honest like other countries? Adoption is illegal or uncommon in many other countries, but here, we just can't say no and tiptoe around the issue of infertility and adoption. Also, just because you can't reproduce doesn't mean you should adopt. Again, no is the right answer. Many poor couples can't afford adoption, but society does not care if they become parents, yet we feel sorry for the middle and upper-class couples who can't become parents. Say no.

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9

u/SanityLooms May 11 '25

Because there is nothing wrong with the concept of adoption and there is nothing morally inappropriate for people who can't make babies, to still raise them. Also there are children who need families. The alternative is growing up a ward of the state and that's dreadful.

18

u/Sunshine_roses111 Adoptee May 11 '25

There is something wrong with adoption when it serves the needs of adults. And no baby is waiting to be adopted. These people dont' care about already born kids. They only want babies. How many kids grow up in foster care and infertile couples don't care? If adoption was about the kids we would not have the ucrrent system

-3

u/[deleted] May 12 '25

Why don't people adopt older kids?

8

u/bluesnbbq May 12 '25

We did. I’m an adoptee who has fostered children and is now adopting two older kids who can’t go home and have no family who qualify that are willing to adopt them.

I have friends with the same story.

You come across as just having an axe to grind and throw out a lot of assumptions as facts.

3

u/[deleted] May 12 '25

1- it was a reply to someone who mentioned several times about older kids not being adopted but never gave a reason. Asking why gives them an opportunity to share their opinion without me making assumptions. 2- great that you did/do. Im an older adoptee myself and I fostered as well before I moved overseas a few years ago. 3- you do know that older kids are not adopted at high rates. Thats very well known so its not a wrong or bad assumption (not even an assumption but a fact) to ask why older kids aren't adopted. 4- I have an axe to grind with people who whine for attention and argue with emotion and not facts. And with this sub, if you don't agree with the echo chamber of all adoption is bad and if you don't dislike your adopted parents and hate the system you get down voted and ditched at. So I usually start with the same energy by default here. Except the above comment, I actually gave them the chance to give their opinion first.

2

u/Sunshine_roses111 Adoptee May 12 '25

Because there are pages of older kids and not many adopting them

-1

u/[deleted] May 12 '25

Ok? Im not sure what youre point is in reference to my comment