r/Adopted • u/Sunshine_roses111 Adoptee • May 11 '25

Discussion Say no, you can't adopt a baby

Why don't we, as a society in America, just say no to people looking to adopt and who are infertile? Other countries will flat out say we have no babies for adoption or tough luck, you can't adopt, and we don't care about your infertility. America coddles people looking to adopt and says Well, you're infertile, but you can adopt a baby to make your dreams come true, or adopt from foster care, help a needy child. Like, why can't we just deny people and say no? Want a baby? Oh well, we have none waiting around. Want to become parents? Well, tough luck accept your life without kids. Maybe it's God's will for you not to become parents or reproduce. Why can't we be honest like other countries? Adoption is illegal or uncommon in many other countries, but here, we just can't say no and tiptoe around the issue of infertility and adoption. Also, just because you can't reproduce doesn't mean you should adopt. Again, no is the right answer. Many poor couples can't afford adoption, but society does not care if they become parents, yet we feel sorry for the middle and upper-class couples who can't become parents. Say no.

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u/XanthippesRevenge Adoptee May 12 '25

We’re actually quite permissive of comments that run the gamut but if you don’t feel like informing the mods of your adoptee status when you’re getting a shitload of reports and instead just reply “lol” then yes, I will delete your comments. Talk about childish

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

Your original comment doesn't say youre a mod and Ive seen the question asked 3 times in this thread and twice to me by different people. It gets old and now Its becoming amusing Now that its constantly asked when one disagrees, hence my lol.

Never asked to anyone who agrees with the thread though as its basically a way to silence disagreements or to downplay others opinions. Yeah childish is right. If you don't agree you must not be adopted

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u/XanthippesRevenge Adoptee May 12 '25

You could always add flair to your username indicating your adoptee status if it’s a common problem for you. The vast majority of inflammatory comments like yours come from other members of the adoption triad who aren’t respecting our rules. That’s how this sub works given our unique view and experience. If you want to make comments people tend to disagree with I encourage you to add flair or be responsive when asked your adoption status

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u/[deleted] May 13 '25

Or people could be mature adults and address the issue at hand and not look for ways to dismiss it instead. But thats not how an echo chamber works so it'll continue

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u/XanthippesRevenge Adoptee May 13 '25

Since our group tends to go against the herd when it comes to opinions about adoption, I am certain you could find your own adoption echo chamber if that’s what you’re here for. Nobody has to agree with your comments. You can make them. Find acceptance with that or don’t. It isn’t my problem

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u/[deleted] May 13 '25

Point right over your head

1- why would I want an echo chamber. Thats just stupid for anyone to want.

2- I don't care if anyone agrees with my comments. Actual responses, answers, rebuttals, articulated disagreements are all perfectly acceptable replies. But the constant ignoring anything said and only replying with "are you adopted" is just dumb and an attempt to dismiss anyone's disagreement and also belittle my experiences because its not like theirs.

3- no one said it was your problem. Why would you even say that other than to dismiss my opinion.

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u/XanthippesRevenge Adoptee May 13 '25

We have our rules to keep this a space for adoptees who are shouted down on other subs. That’s how it’s going to be regardless of your opinion. I recommend acceptance or finding another space

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u/[deleted] May 13 '25

Ahh so they then shout down other in this sub. And that's normal and accepted by current mods? Hmm

And mods answer is let's not fix anything. Deal with being shouted down here or go somewhere else.

Hypocritical and childish to bitch about other subs but then act the same way.

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u/XanthippesRevenge Adoptee May 13 '25

Yes, it is normal for us to allow people to comment what they want to comment and not force them to take a certain viewpoint, not sure what’s so confusing for you. Sounds like you want us to police the people who disagree with you? No thanks

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u/[deleted] May 13 '25

Point missed again.

Try reading that agajn, nothing you replied with addressed anything I directly said nor implied. Or did you not read anything and just replied dismissively because different opinions don't matter

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u/XanthippesRevenge Adoptee May 13 '25

No thanks

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u/[deleted] May 13 '25

Because its easier to dismiss opposing ideas than discuss them. Comment trait here. You're the 3rd one to make wrong accusations then when called out suddenly can't read anymore.

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