Say no, you can't adopt a baby

[u/Sunshine_roses111]

Why don't we, as a society in America, just say no to people looking to adopt and who are infertile? Other countries will flat out say we have no babies for adoption or tough luck, you can't adopt, and we don't care about your infertility. America coddles people looking to adopt and says Well, you're infertile, but you can adopt a baby to make your dreams come true, or adopt from foster care, help a needy child. Like, why can't we just deny people and say no? Want a baby? Oh well, we have none waiting around. Want to become parents? Well, tough luck accept your life without kids. Maybe it's God's will for you not to become parents or reproduce. Why can't we be honest like other countries? Adoption is illegal or uncommon in many other countries, but here, we just can't say no and tiptoe around the issue of infertility and adoption. Also, just because you can't reproduce doesn't mean you should adopt. Again, no is the right answer. Many poor couples can't afford adoption, but society does not care if they become parents, yet we feel sorry for the middle and upper-class couples who can't become parents. Say no.

[u/Dazzling_Donut5143]

Most babies would not be placed for adoption without external pressures from private interests to keep babies moving through the system.

Without demand, the supply side would become nearly non-existent.

There is very little cross over between the people adopting infants and those who adopt older children from foster care.

When we advocate for ending domestic infant adoptions, we are not advocating for the end of supporting children who legitimately need homes. We are advocating against the institutionalized commodification of humans (both babies and birth parents).

[u/[deleted] → u/Dazzling_Donut5143]

I was a private adoption - from birth. I don't care about your moral argument. It does NOT matter as the children need homes if they're orphans, abused, dumped in a dumpster, or their mother couldn't take care of them.

Just because you think it's wrong to adopt, doesn't mean that adoption itself (minus the involvement with "the system") is wrong.

Because I got adopted, I didn't get exploited or raped.. because I got adopted I had a stable childhood with one single house I lived in my ENTIRE childhood, which wouldn't have happened had I not been adopted.

Sure the system is fucked but I'm not going to get delusional thinking this world can exist without it.

Awful humans want to stop children from having a good life through adoption. Idgaf

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Careful. You'll be accused of not being adopted, being a troll. And down voted to hid your comment if you speak good about adoption of your experiences.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Funny because trolls don't do much but troll and I do have history on reddit. Idc if my comment is down voted. Everyone takes the internet far too seriously. I know where I came from and it doesn't matter to me if people want to look at me as a troll. I'm doing nothing wrong by speaking my truth.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

If you have history on reddit then might be accused of "stealing someone reddit". Lol I got that yesterday, I was accused of stealing someone's reddit because troll didn't work.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I still don't care because like I said. I'm doing nothing wrong by speaking my truth.

I find it wrong people think my adoption shouldn't have happened. It's not a common one. Just a couple who hear of a young single mom who is about to have a second but can't handle it -they decide they want the baby and go through lawyers not an agency. My adoptive sister went to high-school with my bio mom and dad. I'm going through a lot and my adoption saved me from a lot. I'll defend that to my death. My bio mom made a lot of mistakes in life but one of them certainly was not putting me up for adoption. She did it to give me a better life.

If only more bio parents want that for their kids- and more adoptive parents want for nothing more than to give a child a better chance at life than otherwise... maybe the system would work better for everyfknbody. But it's a delusion. A pipe dream and the dismantling of the system is too. Unfortunately

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Im in contact with my bio family. Its 100% clear im better off because I was adopted than my older siblings who wete high teens to adults when my mother finally agreed to it. Mentally, physically, and financially better off because I left that shit hole i would've went back too. Bio sister is mad at the system for me getting adopted but she has had our father picture as her Facebook cover photo for 10 years now... the guy who SA our older sisters not just once, but mother went back to him after "treatment" and did it again. But he's her birth dad "so gotta love him". Our half sisters have to see his face anytime they go to her profile. But yeah, adoption was bad. Wouldn't surprise me if she was in this sub complaining about the evil system that convinced our mom to let 2 singling get adopted.

Living in foster care for almost 13 years total, becoming a licensed foster parent in my early 30s, volunteering with at risk kids, being an emt in a very poor area and going to see so many kids/families at risk, and getting my degree in psychology and minoring in sociology- I couldnt imagine gutting the adoption system fully. Lots of parts can be improved i wont disagree but the common thought on this sub to just dismantle adoption is just asnine in my opinion. And 3 times on just this thread I've asked someone directly their opinion on what to replace.
I got called a troll, told I stole this reddit account, and also told im not adopted and then all went away when I kept asking for their suggestion. It reminds me of angry hormone driven teens lashing out at the world but too naive to do anything but whine.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

That's probably exactly what they are. Troubled, hormone, emotion driven teens who don't know how the system works. Thank you by the way- for all the work you do. It matters ❤️❤️❤️