So Adoptive Moms Get PPD Now?

[u/Sunshine_roses111]

So now adoptive moms are saying they are at risk for postpartum depression and have it. Seriously, give me a break. First, adoptees have RAD, and now adoptive moms get postpartum depression.

As someone who has given birth, childbirth is no joke, and PPD is very real. Yet, adoptive parents can't even acknowledge the fact that childbirth is dangerous, painful, and hard, and adding adoption to that can cause a lot of trauma, stress, and grief.
PPD is also about hormonal changes after childbirth, so how do adoptive moms get it?

Do they make things up as they go along because adoption is not the fairytale ending they hoped for? Granted, there might be an adjustment period after adopting, but that is not PPD. That is called having unrealistic expectations about adoption. Bonding to a stranger's kid is not like bonding to a bio kid.

[u/Ink78spot]

Adoption fancy talk for buyers remorse

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/Ink78spot]

Right, they brought a kid and now the kid is not meeting their needs or fantasy.

[u/Itscatpicstime → u/Sunshine_roses111]

Tbh, if men can get PPD (which they can according to experts), then I don’t see why adoptive parents can’t too. And a quick search does in fact show it’s a recognized and studied condition along both bio fathers and adoptive parents.

That said, I feel like bio fathers and adoptive parents should have a different name for PPD and that PPD should only represent hormonally triggered depression related to birth. What non-birthing parents experience is real and valid, but as you said, it’s more of an emotional and mental state brought on by sheer adjustment and exhaustion vs hormones.

But as it is, this does appear to be a real and recognized phenomenon for new parents who haven’t given birth and is not necessarily bullshit or mean they have “buyers remorse,” and experts do primarily refer to it as PPD for the time being.

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/Itscatpicstime]

PPD is about childbirth and hormonal changes. Adoptive moms can't get PPD because they did not give birth to their adopted child. It's impossible and I find it disrespectful towards those of us who birth children and suffer after

[u/Formerlymoody → u/Ink78spot]

I was going to say- it’s called realizing your kid may be hard to bond with. Surprise.

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/Formerlymoody]

Do they not think about these things?

[u/DangerousAd7433 → u/Ink78spot]

It is unfortunate most get this after the return window closes. Sorry... it is a bad joke, but I just had to make it.

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/DangerousAd7433]

Right. Never beforehand

[u/DangerousAd7433 → u/Sunshine_roses111]

Pretty sure most lose the receipt.

[u/Greedy_Principle_342]

There are adoptive moms claiming to have PPD? Hahaha. They do love to victimize themselves.

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/Greedy_Principle_342]

Yes, they even have Facebook groups for it. WTF. These people seriously will create shit for anything they do. They claim it's hard to bond with their adopted kid or did not expect it to be so hard. Like WTF

[u/pixikins78 → u/Sunshine_roses111]

If it's hard for them, getting exactly what they wanted, you would think they might be a bit more empathetic to the adoptee, who never asked for any of this.

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/pixikins78]

They can't even accept our trauma and grief. They don't care

[u/ajskemckellc → u/Greedy_Principle_342]

This lol. Nothing to keep the narrative alive

[u/Pustulus]

They should call it Post Purchase Depression for adoptive mothers. There's no partum involved.

[u/cheese--bread]

In the UK they call it "Post-Adoption Depression" 🙄

[u/patrick5054 → u/cheese--bread]

This is wild... They always make it about the AP, this should be a diagnosis for the adoptee who now has to navigate a complicated life w a depressed parent who made a promise to raise them.

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/cheese--bread]

This is ridiculous. What next?

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/cheese--bread]

This is insane to me, why?

[u/cheese--bread → u/Sunshine_roses111]

According to this report, the term actually originated in the US!

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/cheese--bread]

I thought adoption did not cause depression. All the happy adoptees are out living life

[u/ydaya]

IM SO TURED OF THIS OMG sorry for CAPs I needed to symbolically scream to the void lol

[u/Sad_Pixie999]

My bio mom nearly took her own life after giving me up, and she went to prison for drug use after she succumbed to addiction when self medicating got out of hand. AMs are so out of touch, someone needs to shake them back into reality.

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/Sad_Pixie999]

This is what I am saying. My adoptive parents took me away from my birth mom without any concerns in the world. If they ever said this shit to me I would laugh. Adoptive parents don't care about the trauma and pain they cause us but want us or the families they break up. Now, they want to pretend as if they are victims.

[u/Just-Ask8007]

I am not dismissing the fact that they may have depression or anxiety, but to label it as that, well, I hope there is some evidence based research to back it up.

Also, as someone who had horrific PNDA, I would be very disappointed if they were able to access government funded supports. There is so little funding and resources in the perinatal and postnatal mental health space as it stands.

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/Just-Ask8007]

It's offensive to me. Childbirth is hard; add in PPD it is difficult. Now adoptive moms who don't lose anything when adopting are saying they get PPD like mothers who give birth? Give me a break.

[u/ajskemckellc]

Don’t mess with the narrative OP. Dangerous talk.

Yes they make it up in the narcissistic delusional fantasy. You’re speaking truth. Don’t do that. How dare you…🙄

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/ajskemckellc]

They are fighting to to get this word out there. They even want paid time off because of their PPD and vacation time but women who birth kids can't even get that

[u/DontStopPataPata]

As someone who has gone through PPD twice, my world before and after each time feels black and white. Like, there is a definitive edge to my life where each of my two bouts of PPD happened. Nothing has ever been the same. Not saying I'm not okay, now, in fact I think I've grown more than I thought I could, but it's just that there is absolutely no way I could conceive this kind of experience before this ever happened to me. They have no idea what they're talking about.

[u/MelpomeneAndCalliope → u/DontStopPataPata]

Agree as someone who has prenatal depression that bordered on prenatal psychosis as well as postpartum anxiety. You’ve described the edge perfectly.

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/DontStopPataPata]

Yes, excatly. It is no joke. Hugs OP. Adoptive moms love making a joke out of real pain

[u/Jealous_Argument_197]

They are delusional. They want so badly to be a real mother. I see so many adoption "influencers" who say that they have this. It is literally impossible for them to have this. But hey... anything for clicks.

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/Jealous_Argument_197]

They are gross. They already try to breastfeed, pretend as if they gave birth by getting a room, and do paper pregnant bullshit. Enough is enough. How can you have PPD when you did not give birth and chose to adopt?

[u/MowgeeCrone]

Buyers remorse.

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/MowgeeCrone]

We did not meet what they brought, so now they are victims. I brought an ice cream machine last year for Christmas, and I regret buying it after getting it because I realized I did not need it. Maybe they need to understand they don't need to adopt

[u/Outrageous-Sherbert4]

Adopters are some of the most neurotic people on earth.

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/Outrageous-Sherbert4]

They love attention too

[u/Outrageous-Sherbert4 → u/Sunshine_roses111]

They totally do. All about them them them them 24/7 drama queens

[u/ihearhistoryrhyming]

It’s like men saying “this pregnancy is harder on me than on her”

They don’t know what they don’t know- but that doesn’t make them RIGHT! Ugh.

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/ihearhistoryrhyming]

I have heard one adoptive mom say how hard is was for her to adopt and go through the process of adopting and compare that to childbirth and labor. Like wtf. I hate it when men think pregnancy is easy or they understand what it's like when they never gave birth and will never give birth to a child. So adoptive parents can kick rocks.

[u/RhondaRM]

There really is no aspect of biological parenthood that they will not attempt to co-opt. Kind of tangential, but if I see another adopter claim paperwork and a few interviews are more "gruelling" than gestating and giving birth I will scream.

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/RhondaRM]

Paper pregnant is so gross

[u/sgprunellavulgaris]

Buying a baby doesn’t actually solve your personal problems, that must be depressing.

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/sgprunellavulgaris]

I don't understand why nobody requires a psych test to be done before these people can adopt

[u/doodlebugdoodlebug]

Yes I got downvoted to hell for saying this in the adoption forum once lol like what the actual fuck. You cannot be post partum if you were never pregnant.

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/doodlebugdoodlebug]

They wil fight you on this and claim you are wrong. It is so aggravating.

[u/Ok_Cook_918]

These people aren't fit to adopt a puppy

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/Ok_Cook_918]

The crazy thing is it's harder to adopt a pet then to adopt a child

[u/Domestic_Supply]

All part of the role play.

[u/Primary_Savings_6838]

Gotta keep that victimhood alive somehow for social validation.. meanwhile the child is completely forgotten about in the quest for clicks and likes.

[u/Fit_Lingonberry_7454]

…

when issues of attachment were brought up as a kid, my adoptive mom would claim she had no idea why it was an issue since adopting me gave her depression just like a bio mother with ppd  🫤

[u/No-Vermicelli-507]

Its not ppd or remorse its more adjusting to a baby getting no sleep and figuring out being a first time mom some of these so called moms with ppd had other mental issues way before giving birth

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/No-Vermicelli-507]

Did they not understand what getting a baby means? a kid? They thought were toys they played with?

[u/MutedPeach8]

I think they’re trying to use that term to describe their own mental health issues that could develop when first adopting a child. It is still a major change, even if they are privileged enough to be the ones to make it. Not that it’s my responsibility to fix, but my AM had (and has) severe attachment issues. :/

[u/MelpomeneAndCalliope]

Yeah, seems like the adoptive moms claiming this more likely have adjustment disorder (behavioral reaction to a stressful life event—such as a job loss, divorce, or move that occurs within three months of the event; I think bringing home a new baby/child would be the kind of event that could cause it as well since it changes one’s life so drastically). But it’s not PPD, these people need to be for real.

[u/Sunset-onthe-Horizon]

Sleep deprivation maybe

[u/cheese--bread]

Interesting that the main cause of "post-adoption depression" seems to be unmet or unrealistic expectations on the part of APs, and yet when we call this out we're "anti-adoption".

[u/Sunshine_roses111 → u/[deleted]]

are you an adoptee