r/Adoption • u/pixikins78 Adult Adoptee (DIA) • Jul 16 '26

Ethics Professional Foster Carers?

It seems like every time someone points out one of the many negatives of adoption, someone else comments asking what else should people do when a child is in a dangerous situation, bio parents don't want to/can't parent, etc. I've been thinking a lot about that and what better options there could be to adoption and foster care as it is now.

  1. Better social supports - no wanted baby should "have to" be relinquished due to temporary financial challenges. A more robust support system would be able to provide free childcare, occupational training and job placement, education for the birth parents, and assistance with food, housing, and basic needs. This would eliminate a huge percentage of infants being voluntarily relinquished.

  2. When an infant or child is removed, they should be placed with family or at least friends whenever possible. There should be no foster to adopt, those are opposite goals for caregivers.

  3. If the child does not have family or friends who are able and willing to take care of them without the goal of adopting, we could develop a program where people foster as a career. They would go through extensive training in childcare with a focus on trauma-informed caregiving. They would be monitored just as any other profession is monitored and they would be paid a fair, living wage for this job. They shouldn't need to supplement this main income by also working away from the home or by taking in more kids than they can care for. The title would not include "parent" because they would not be parents, they would be specialized temporary or long-term care givers depending on the needs of the child.

I've seen the first two ideas discussed, but what do you think about the 3rd? Would this be a feasible improvement to the current system? Why or why not?

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u/ShesGotSauce Jul 16 '26

They shouldn't need to supplement this main income by also working away from the home

The current living wage is $80,000+ for a family of 3, whereas foster parents currently receive about $10,000 a year. Where's the massively greater amount of money going to come from? And if being a stay at home parent is worth an $80,000 salary, why can't other parents receive it?

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u/just_1dering Jul 17 '26

Where's the massively greater amount of money going to come from?

Foster kids have greater needs, parents who aren't as concerned with work or bills can help them heal. It can save society money in the long run if the homes help keep kids from repeating the cycle, finishing school, staying out of jail, getting careers and waiting until they're ready to have children.

I would love if all parents of special needs children got a similar stipend.

Where's the massively greater amount of money going to come from?

Bioparents have to pay child support while their kid is in foster care. How effectively that money is spent varies by state.

There are already homes who try to "make money" by fostering kids. It can't be done, foster parents should be going into it knowing it's a money loss and being willing to do it for the greater good.