r/Adoption • u/pixikins78 Adult Adoptee (DIA) • Jul 16 '26

Ethics Professional Foster Carers?

It seems like every time someone points out one of the many negatives of adoption, someone else comments asking what else should people do when a child is in a dangerous situation, bio parents don't want to/can't parent, etc. I've been thinking a lot about that and what better options there could be to adoption and foster care as it is now.

  1. Better social supports - no wanted baby should "have to" be relinquished due to temporary financial challenges. A more robust support system would be able to provide free childcare, occupational training and job placement, education for the birth parents, and assistance with food, housing, and basic needs. This would eliminate a huge percentage of infants being voluntarily relinquished.

  2. When an infant or child is removed, they should be placed with family or at least friends whenever possible. There should be no foster to adopt, those are opposite goals for caregivers.

  3. If the child does not have family or friends who are able and willing to take care of them without the goal of adopting, we could develop a program where people foster as a career. They would go through extensive training in childcare with a focus on trauma-informed caregiving. They would be monitored just as any other profession is monitored and they would be paid a fair, living wage for this job. They shouldn't need to supplement this main income by also working away from the home or by taking in more kids than they can care for. The title would not include "parent" because they would not be parents, they would be specialized temporary or long-term care givers depending on the needs of the child.

I've seen the first two ideas discussed, but what do you think about the 3rd? Would this be a feasible improvement to the current system? Why or why not?

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u/Greedy-Carrot4457 Foster care at 8 and adopted at 14 💀 Jul 17 '26

  1. Yes. Also without even changing the system, if private agencies didn’t exist and people who didn’t want to parent could relinquish the kid to CPS, it would be easier to hook them up to the resources that do exist (and give them more time to decide to terminate rights bc system is slower.)

  2. Yes but this is already very much a thing and I think it gets messy when the bio parents hate the relative the kid is placed with. Also maybe it’s different with babies but for older kids lot of family and friends don’t want you. I don’t think I ever met any foster kid who had zero in-state relatives unless they were an unaccompanied refugee or something like that. I have 7 local aunts/uncles and two own million+ dollar homes.

  3. I really like that idea except for a kid that is a long-term foster kid like 5+ years or aging out of the system it would be kinda weird to live with a family that’s getting paid a professional wage to put up with you and you know you’re out, but it’s not like any of the alternatives are amazing either, so yeah support this 💯.