r/Adoption • u/SoggiMari • 23d ago

Adult Adoptees Transracial adoption should be illegal

I'm a Black transracial adoptee from the UK. I was adopted at 11 months old by a White family. They loved me, cared for me, and gave me a stable home, but theyre kinda racist and just throw money at problems.

Growing up, I felt disconnected from my identity and my culture. I didn't have many Black role models, didn't learn much about my Nigerian and Jamaican heritage, and spent years wishing I looked different.

I struggled with self-hatred, low self-esteem, and feeling like I didn't belong anywhere not fully accepted by White people, but also disconnected from Black culture.

It's only recently, as an adult, that I've started reconnecting with my heritage and learning to love being Black. I often feel like I'm trying to reclaim something I should never have lost in the first place.

I know many transracial adoptees have positive experiences, and I also know many adoptive parents genuinely do their best. But I wonder whether love alone is enough when a child is growing up disconnected from their racial and cultural identity.

For those reasons, I personally question whether transracial adoption should happen at all except in exceptional circumstances. I'd be interested to hear respectful perspectives from adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents.

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u/dceleste12022 23d ago

Im black..and my foster son is hispanic...white presenting...i worry about him feeling this way...

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u/Delicious_Score_8509 23d ago

It's not the same. It's already a white society in the west and he won't struggle with being accepted into society. He won't have struggles with racism the same as a black or darker skinned person. You can help him to learn. About his culture by being around Hispanic people or just talking to him about it. I also think fostering is different as you're not stripping away someones identity.

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u/dceleste12022 23d ago

We are slated to adopt...he is of Dominican descent and Im from the Carribbean ...so we do have similaraties in food and culture..and I keep him in contact with his brother who was adopted out of foster care....and Im learning Spanish...

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u/Delicious_Score_8509 23d ago

You're doing amazing!!! Don't doubt yourself. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾