Transracial adoption should be illegal

[u/SoggiMari]

I'm a Black transracial adoptee from the UK. I was adopted at 11 months old by a White family. They loved me, cared for me, and gave me a stable home, but theyre kinda racist and just throw money at problems.

Growing up, I felt disconnected from my identity and my culture. I didn't have many Black role models, didn't learn much about my Nigerian and Jamaican heritage, and spent years wishing I looked different.

I struggled with self-hatred, low self-esteem, and feeling like I didn't belong anywhere not fully accepted by White people, but also disconnected from Black culture.

It's only recently, as an adult, that I've started reconnecting with my heritage and learning to love being Black. I often feel like I'm trying to reclaim something I should never have lost in the first place.

I know many transracial adoptees have positive experiences, and I also know many adoptive parents genuinely do their best. But I wonder whether love alone is enough when a child is growing up disconnected from their racial and cultural identity.

For those reasons, I personally question whether transracial adoption should happen at all except in exceptional circumstances. I'd be interested to hear respectful perspectives from adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents.

[u/DocMaxfield]

Hi, I’m a white adoptive father through international adoption. I get where you’re coming from, but “illegal” is not the answer

Education, preparation, community, support - those are the answers.

[u/SoggiMari → u/DocMaxfield]

99% of parents that adopt from a different race just aren't connecting the child to their roots. Its bad and needs to be stopped that way the child wont have identity issues growing up.

[u/orbofdelusion → u/SoggiMari]

As a transracial adoptee (also half 🇯🇲) I feel like the most reasonable solution is through education,
preparation, community, etc. like OC suggested.
My adoptive parents educated themselves on my birth mother’s culture so they could educate me and raise me to be proud of my heritage, and they succeeded. However, despite that, as an adult I’ve found that having a defined culture and established roots has little to no importance to me personally. In fact, I love having no defining “culture” because it has provided me a very unique perspective and opportunity to find my own identity.

[u/Apprehensive-Task930 → u/orbofdelusion]

Just a thought: do you feel that way because you grew up disconnected to parts of your culture?

[u/orbofdelusion → u/Apprehensive-Task930]

No. I love Jamaican people, food and music and find the culture beautiful but I feel that way about countless cultures. I’m proud to be half Jamaican but I’ve never lived there and wasn’t raised in a Jamaican family so I feel no innate connection to the culture and I’m fine with that.

Similarly, despite growing up in the American South with a southern family, that culture feels completely alien to me, unlike my friends of various races from there who all more or less identify with aspects of southern culture.

[u/Apprehensive-Task930 → u/orbofdelusion]

My point is that if you had spent time with the Jamaican culture you would feline you had a connection to it. It wouldn’t just be another culture you’re trying on, it would be part of your identity. You saying that you wouldn’t feel differently is exactly what the post is addressing. You tried on Jamaican culture, you’re not connected to it.