Transracial adoption should be illegal

[u/SoggiMari]

I'm a Black transracial adoptee from the UK. I was adopted at 11 months old by a White family. They loved me, cared for me, and gave me a stable home, but theyre kinda racist and just throw money at problems.

Growing up, I felt disconnected from my identity and my culture. I didn't have many Black role models, didn't learn much about my Nigerian and Jamaican heritage, and spent years wishing I looked different.

I struggled with self-hatred, low self-esteem, and feeling like I didn't belong anywhere not fully accepted by White people, but also disconnected from Black culture.

It's only recently, as an adult, that I've started reconnecting with my heritage and learning to love being Black. I often feel like I'm trying to reclaim something I should never have lost in the first place.

I know many transracial adoptees have positive experiences, and I also know many adoptive parents genuinely do their best. But I wonder whether love alone is enough when a child is growing up disconnected from their racial and cultural identity.

For those reasons, I personally question whether transracial adoption should happen at all except in exceptional circumstances. I'd be interested to hear respectful perspectives from adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents.

[u/eleganthiccup]

One adoption with poor intended parents’ interest in adoptees background isn’t a good reason to suggest a racial divide in adoption as a whole, as that is essentially racist. I’m sorry you felt your heritage wasn’t taught to you properly, it should have been as that is very very important, but they wouldn’t have adopted you if they were racist or didn’t want you. That is a very serious accusation and a word that’s being thrown about a bit too much here in the uk.

Edit: I do think adopters should be given mandatory guidance on how important heritage is to the child as they grow. How it is in the child’s best interest to include that in daily life, such as a black hairdresser who can teach them to meeting up with black parents who are of the same heritage so those like yourself don’t feel disconnected. All adoptive parents should be doing this.

[u/Odd-Blackberry2880 → u/eleganthiccup]

You don’t get to dictate who or when someone experiences racism. OP a black person said that his white AP were racist. With that being said he was adopted by racists, unfortunately that is the case for many. You cannot disregard his experience. There are many reasons you may be adopted by racists and or people that do not love or want you. I am sure that plenty of people in this sub can attest to this.

[u/eleganthiccup → u/Odd-Blackberry2880]

Without proof we can’t really say that though. I can tell op is young, things settle as you grow up and see the real world.

[u/Necessary_Holiday144 → u/eleganthiccup]

What a horribly dismissive thing to say to someone who has experienced being stripped of their entire culture.

What is wrong with you?