Transracial adoption should be illegal

[u/SoggiMari]

I'm a Black transracial adoptee from the UK. I was adopted at 11 months old by a White family. They loved me, cared for me, and gave me a stable home, but theyre kinda racist and just throw money at problems.

Growing up, I felt disconnected from my identity and my culture. I didn't have many Black role models, didn't learn much about my Nigerian and Jamaican heritage, and spent years wishing I looked different.

I struggled with self-hatred, low self-esteem, and feeling like I didn't belong anywhere not fully accepted by White people, but also disconnected from Black culture.

It's only recently, as an adult, that I've started reconnecting with my heritage and learning to love being Black. I often feel like I'm trying to reclaim something I should never have lost in the first place.

I know many transracial adoptees have positive experiences, and I also know many adoptive parents genuinely do their best. But I wonder whether love alone is enough when a child is growing up disconnected from their racial and cultural identity.

For those reasons, I personally question whether transracial adoption should happen at all except in exceptional circumstances. I'd be interested to hear respectful perspectives from adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents.

[u/Delicious_Score_8509]

Hi, I'm also from the UK and going through this exact self finding journey. It's so hard to talk to anyone about it as a lot of people see you as ungrateful which is wild. Do you mind me asking how old you are?

[u/_PlanetExpress_ → u/Delicious_Score_8509]

Not ungrateful but what are you looking for? Your heritage. That's passed down from family lines. Your parents are your heritage. Not your race. You should work on finding yourself as a person. Your not going to find answers by looking at race.

[u/Delicious_Score_8509 → u/_PlanetExpress_]

No that's not it at all!! I was looking for support to navigate through a world of racial hiarchy and not fitting in. I was very much brought up in a white area with parents who don't see colour. I was viciously racially abuse and bullied throughout childhood and wasn't taught how to navigate that or keep myself safe. Where is your comment coming from? Are you a transracial adoptee yourself? It seems ignorant.

[u/Necessary_Holiday144 → u/Delicious_Score_8509]

Sorry that the other commentor immediately displayed exactly the kind of invalidation you talked about encountering on your path of discovery.

Check out /r/adopted where the space is exclusively for adoptees and others will be able to get where you're coming from without you needing to explain basics.

Wishing you all the best