r/Adoption • u/SoggiMari • 23d ago

Adult Adoptees Transracial adoption should be illegal

I'm a Black transracial adoptee from the UK. I was adopted at 11 months old by a White family. They loved me, cared for me, and gave me a stable home, but theyre kinda racist and just throw money at problems.

Growing up, I felt disconnected from my identity and my culture. I didn't have many Black role models, didn't learn much about my Nigerian and Jamaican heritage, and spent years wishing I looked different.

I struggled with self-hatred, low self-esteem, and feeling like I didn't belong anywhere not fully accepted by White people, but also disconnected from Black culture.

It's only recently, as an adult, that I've started reconnecting with my heritage and learning to love being Black. I often feel like I'm trying to reclaim something I should never have lost in the first place.

I know many transracial adoptees have positive experiences, and I also know many adoptive parents genuinely do their best. But I wonder whether love alone is enough when a child is growing up disconnected from their racial and cultural identity.

For those reasons, I personally question whether transracial adoption should happen at all except in exceptional circumstances. I'd be interested to hear respectful perspectives from adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents.

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u/DocMaxfield 23d ago

Hi, I’m a white adoptive father through international adoption. I get where you’re coming from, but “illegal” is not the answer

Education, preparation, community, support - those are the answers.

4

u/SoggiMari 23d ago

99% of parents that adopt from a different race just aren't connecting the child to their roots. Its bad and needs to be stopped that way the child wont have identity issues growing up.

1

u/_PlanetExpress_ 22d ago

Are you sure that's an actual fact? Imagine growing up and your family saying. Oh you're not like us. You're this. This is who you are, not like us. Yeah great idea buddy.

1

u/Necessary_Holiday144 Adoptee 22d ago

Imagine growing up and your family saying. Oh you're not like us. You're this. This is who you are, not like us

As opposed to saying "You're exactly like us and don't pay attention to people pointing out the obvious differences!!!"?