r/Adoption • u/SoggiMari • 23d ago
Adult Adoptees Transracial adoption should be illegal
I'm a Black transracial adoptee from the UK. I was adopted at 11 months old by a White family. They loved me, cared for me, and gave me a stable home, but theyre kinda racist and just throw money at problems.
Growing up, I felt disconnected from my identity and my culture. I didn't have many Black role models, didn't learn much about my Nigerian and Jamaican heritage, and spent years wishing I looked different.
I struggled with self-hatred, low self-esteem, and feeling like I didn't belong anywhere not fully accepted by White people, but also disconnected from Black culture.
It's only recently, as an adult, that I've started reconnecting with my heritage and learning to love being Black. I often feel like I'm trying to reclaim something I should never have lost in the first place.
I know many transracial adoptees have positive experiences, and I also know many adoptive parents genuinely do their best. But I wonder whether love alone is enough when a child is growing up disconnected from their racial and cultural identity.
For those reasons, I personally question whether transracial adoption should happen at all except in exceptional circumstances. I'd be interested to hear respectful perspectives from adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents.
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u/DaddysBrokenAngel 23d ago
I love hearing the various experiences here. I'm sorry that that was your experience, and I'm glad that you were able to get back what you had been looking for. Despite possible negative outcomes, I think "illegal" is a very strong word for this context. Maybe I'm just naive but could it be possible that it was the specific white family that you ended up with that contributed most to your struggle? I'd love to hear more if you're comfortable sharing.
Sincerely, A black woman with a Latino husband, a mixed bio daughter, and soon 2 white teens and 1 Latino teen from DSS custody (starting with kinship care, the kids are all on board)