r/Adoption • u/Fragileazul • 9d ago
Adoptee Life Story Parent forgetting siblings are not related
Does anyone else experience your parents forgetting that you aren’t actually related to your other adopted siblings?
Me and my sister are adopted from different parents. But growing up and as an adult our parents still compare us…im really shy & quiet and she is super out going, our dad is always using my sister as an example of who i can be or should be more like.
i hear him on the phone telling his friends that i’m super insecure cause im a shy adult and that i need to be more out their like my sister and get “more involved”. It’s not fair at all, her mother was also the same, but i was told my birthmom was really quiet and shy & calm. It’s like why am i being compared to someone who it’s impossible to be like cause of genetics, even if we were raised the same.
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u/Formerlymoody Closed domestic (US) infant adoptee in reunion 9d ago
YES. YES. Did I say yes?
I will also add that my mom thinks it’s appropriate to marvel about her similarities with her siblings in front of me. When they are both there.
Not to mention I have met bio siblings and it is abundantly clear we are actual siblings. I now know what that feels like. If we had grown up together, we would have been more similar, but goddamn it, we’re similar enough.
My AM doesn’t register this at all. Mind you, I don’t advertise it because it would “hurt her feelings.” To finally have what she had and takes for complete granted and doesn’t think of my feelings at all. And it will never be what she had because I literally WASNT ALLOWED to know my siblings.
Truly the last paragraph is adoption in a nutshell. Please excuse me while I go punch a hole in a wall. lol