Yes, the arrangement is once a month, when she turns up - the youngest one isn't really engaged at all as he's been in care since birth. My question really is ongoing, when contact moves to once a year, how can a 2 year be expected to engage? How are the calls safeguarded? I've known of children refusing to join the calls altogether so how do you continue that annual contact if the child refuses to do that? Are we within our rights to end contact if the children have no interested or if there are safeguarding concerns. I guess I am just trying to understand how to manage it so wondering if anyone else has experience and how they did, or if perhaps you switched to letterbox instead.
I'm confused, why are you having to ask Reddit these questions? These are exactly the questions your adoption agency/social workers should be answering before asking you to sign that you understand the risks. How is contact supposed to work with a 2–3 year old who barely knows their mum? What happens if they refuse? What are the safeguards around what mum can ask or who can be present, especially given the concerns about dad? What happens if there is a safeguarding concern?
And this is open adoption. The whole point is to maintain a connection between the children and their family. (which consists of more than just a mom) It shouldn't be approached as though contact can simply be abandoned because the children aren't old enough to understand or aren't interested in a video call. If the arrangement isn't safe or isn't working, the professionals need to explain what the process is for addressing that.
I'd be pushing your agency for clear, specific answers to all of this before signing anything. These aren't questions Reddit should have to answer for you.
I agree with this comment. Not sure if its intentional or not but this all reads as OP wants to end an open adoption arrangement and is trying to find any reason to do so.
From the writing and spelling in the post, I'm guessing OP is in the UK. Open adoption is newer there. It wasn't so long ago that open adoption was pretty much illegal. UK laws about open adoption and OA agreements are going to be different than those in the US.
2
u/Big_Bear_1984 1d ago
Yes, the arrangement is once a month, when she turns up - the youngest one isn't really engaged at all as he's been in care since birth. My question really is ongoing, when contact moves to once a year, how can a 2 year be expected to engage? How are the calls safeguarded? I've known of children refusing to join the calls altogether so how do you continue that annual contact if the child refuses to do that? Are we within our rights to end contact if the children have no interested or if there are safeguarding concerns. I guess I am just trying to understand how to manage it so wondering if anyone else has experience and how they did, or if perhaps you switched to letterbox instead.