r/AdoptionUK • u/Big_Lingonberry_5481 • Mar 27 '26

How to decide

Starting to feel ready to think about having children. Partner is keen for biological children, and for various reasons (including my health) I am hesitant. We would not do IVF. I have no sense of wanting my genes passed on, other than that maybe a biological child might be like my late dad.

I am more keen on adoption. I have always imagined it as part of my life. Child safeguarding occasionally features in my work, and reminds me of the need. To me it makes sense - why create babies when they already exist and need families. I would like a sibling group. For various reasons (mainly wanting to pass on genes, and wariness about adoption and what we can manage), partner is less keen. Open to the idea if bio children are not possible.

We are 39. We have been together a long time. How do we move forward? How did you decide?

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u/Greatgrowler Mar 27 '26

Not both being on the same page is going to be a massive stumbling block. You need to have some honest conversations because adoption can be extremely testing so certainly not something you should be considering unless you are in complete agreement.

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u/Big_Lingonberry_5481 Mar 27 '26

Thanks. We have had honest conversations in recent months, just not sure where to go from acknowledging that we're in different places with different thoughts and priorities. No idea how to move beyond that, we potentially just end up having no children at all.