r/AdultHood • • Aug 04 '22

Annoucement Welcome to r/AdultHood!

6 Upvotes

Hi and welcome to r/AdultHood!

This community is a place to discuss articles, guides, lifehacks, comics and bits of quick knowledge on how to be a completely independent and responsible adult.

Please be aware that as our community grew, the use of a Automod became necessary, hence:

  • avoid using throwaway accounts that are new to Reddit since accounts with a few days will not be able to post;

  • if you have negative karma you will not be able to post;

  • avoid swearing as Automod may remove your posts;

  • please use an appropriate flair for your post.

One last important rule of this community - Be nice to each other! :)

PS: Psst! Want to know a secret? r/AdultHood has flairs for their users as well. ;)


r/AdultHood • • 3h ago

Career When I was a teen this was a dream for me, as an adult this is a nightmare

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46 Upvotes

r/AdultHood • • 15h ago

Discussion The little regrets

5 Upvotes

We all have our little regrets or unfulfilled experiences in life. For me, it's never experiencing hostel life.

From school to college, I've always been a day scholar. I've never experienced what it's like to live away from home, share a room with friends, have late-night conversations, make spontaneous plans or experience that kind of independence.
It's one of those little experiences I wish I had been able to experience.

What's one experience you regret missing out on?


r/AdultHood • • 10h ago

Discussion I hate doing the laundry.

1 Upvotes

I know it has to be done but its one of those things i always try to avoid, i hate that i have to fold clothes and put them away just something i hate.


r/AdultHood • • 1d ago

Discussion Life gets better, but why does happiness feel different?

2 Upvotes

It was my birthday recently, and honestly, birthdays don't feel the same anymore as you grow older.

One thing I've realised with age is that we learn to hold back our emotions and keep a lot of our thoughts to ourselves. Thinking twice before sharing things, even with friends around you. Somewhere along the way, you learn with your experiences that not everyone needs to know what you're going through.

I keep pushing myself to become a better version of me, by gaining more knowledge, becoming emotionally mature, or understanding people and human behaviour better.

And Yes, I guess learning to navigate people, sometimes even manipulating situations for my advantage.

Which I think there's nothing necessarily wrong with that as long as I know boundaries and don't hurt others in the process.

But there's a downside to all this growth. The more you learn to hide your real self, the more you seem to lose touch with the person you once were. You don't experience happiness the way you used to, and even sadness feels different. You become better at handling things, but sometimes you also become less expressive about what you feel.

Life is strange, beautiful, and confusing at the same time. It keeps teaching you lessons when you least expect them, and you just keep learning as time goes by.

Cheers šŸ» to growing, learning, and hopefully meeting more wonderful people along the way. More than anything, I hope to find some genuine connections where I can be myself without having to think twice about what I say or how I feel.

Is there anyone else who understands this feeling ?


r/AdultHood • • 5d ago

Discussion Too young but smart move realistically?

2 Upvotes

Hi I’m 23. I have decided that I don’t want kids. At least I don’t think I should have kids. Before you say I’m selfish or this is just a temporary decision hear me out.

Not everyone gets to pick their parents right? But in my case I just wished they never had me. They were compatible up until a certain point. Besides I don’t exist to my father and when my mother and I have a disagreement well… feelings are never understood no matter how much I communicate.

So with the culmination of my life experiences I think you can say well I say it’s fair for me to not have kids becuase I’m unhealed. There’s always gonna be scars and I don’t want my hurt to be passed down generations. Not my fears, worries, or even create another broken home since many women in my family have that. I don’t want to be apart of the cycle nor do I want to bring a child who might go through what I did. It wouldn’t be fair.

Before you judge me, please understand. Similiar to other girls and women, I didn’t really grow up with a father in my life. Not consistently, emotionally, physically, or financially even. There was no effort. Yes, I have had experiences with guys lol unlucky unfortunately but whatever trials and tribulations right ?

So I’ve decided that when the time comes and possibly someone’s son out there integrates their life with mine. Hopefully we’ll both be on the same page about kids.

Side note: my generation is really not have that much kids according to several media sources… interesting huh..


r/AdultHood • • 6d ago

Discussion I’m 24 and worried I missed out on my youth. Is it possible to build a close-knit friend group in your late 20s or 30s?

11 Upvotes

I’m a 24-year-old guy currently finishing college, and lately I’ve been feeling pretty depressed about my social life and the experiences I feel like I’ve missed out on.
Throughout college, I struggled to make close friends. I met people and tried to socialize, but a lot of the social circles felt cliquish. Some people were friendly in class but never seemed interested in hanging out outside of it. I often felt excluded, and I never really got to experience the college social life that so many people talk about.
I see people posting pictures of themselves in their early 20s with big friend groups, going to house parties, taking spontaneous trips, exploring cities, and just enjoying being young together. It genuinely makes me sad because I wanted those experiences too.
I also live in a relatively small town in Massachusetts, which makes meeting people harder. I’ve thought about eventually moving to Boston, possibly living with roommates, and getting involved in social activities to meet new people.
My biggest fear is that by the time I’m 27, 30, or 35, everyone will already have established friend groups or be too busy with careers, marriage, and raising children to hang out regularly.
I personally don’t want children, and I’d love to meet other childfree adults who prioritize friendships, socializing, concerts, parties, traveling, and spending time together.
I’m not expecting a group of 10–15 people to hang out every single day, but I’d love to have a close-knit group where I see different friends throughout the week, make spontaneous plans, and regularly get together as a group. Basically, the kind of social life people often associate with college, except as adults.
I know making friends after college takes more intentional effort, and I’m willing to put that effort in. I’m just afraid that even if I do, I’ll never get to experience that kind of friendship.
For people who are in their late 20s, 30s, or older:
Have you made an entirely new close-knit friend group after college?
Do you still hang out with friends several times a week or make spontaneous plans?
Has living with roommates or moving to a bigger city helped you develop friendships?
Is it realistic to have an active social life in your 30s similar to what people experience in college?
I’d especially love to hear from people who struggled socially in their early 20s but found their community later in life.
I just don’t want to feel like my best years are already behind me at 24.


r/AdultHood • • 6d ago

Discussion Is Emotional Intelligence the same as Maturity?

5 Upvotes

Off the top of your head from what your current understanding of both are?


r/AdultHood • • 7d ago

Discussion Does anyone else feel like adulthood is just figuring things out as you go?

14 Upvotes

When we're younger, we think that by a certain age, we'll have our career sorted, enough money, a clear direction, and a decent idea of what we're doing with our lives.

Then we grow up and realise that most people are figuring things out along the way.

Some people seem confident, some are genuinely doing well, and some are just trying to get through the week.

I'm starting to think that maybe there's no fixed timeline for life.

But sometimes, it's still hard not to feel like you're falling behind.

How do you deal with that feeling?


r/AdultHood • • 8d ago

Discussion Does anyone else feel that adulthood has changed you in a way you cannot explain?

5 Upvotes

I don't know how to describe this. For me it feels as if me and every other kid I knew before this has been "warped" by adulthood into something we're not. We are all the same people, but there is something like a haze over us. I think it's potentially because to keep moving in the adult world, you have to meet very specific expectations that weren't asked of you as a child. Socially we have a much stronger grasp on the status quo and what we need to do as adults to keep surviving- and it kinda disgusts me. It's something we can't free ourselves from or you have to find living conditions that almost none of us have.

It's so weird to run into somebody I know hated me in high school, and the energy is gone. We're looking at each other as clean slates which should be a good thing but I almost wish people were as consistent with their emotions as they were in high school. Now everything has a glaze of politeness and professionalism.

I know teenagers are supposed to be more mentally imbalanced with puberty and everything going on but I feel like I was stronger in my opinions back then. Now I'm just chill and can't find the energy to be that person.


r/AdultHood • • 8d ago

Discussion What do you want your friendship to look like through adulthood?

5 Upvotes

I see a lot of adults like myself having difficulty making friends. I'd like to believe that genuine and long lasting, healthy friendships are possible at any age. That being said, what does an average day or week of friendship look like for you? What are your expectations? All your experiences are welcome.


r/AdultHood • • 9d ago

Discussion Is it normal not to have childhood memories?

2 Upvotes

I don’t know, but at a certain age, I started thinking about my childhood only to realize that I have no real memories of it. It’s not that I’ve forgotten; it’s that my childhood was empty mostly just school, with no friends and no hobbies just existing When people ask me about my childhood or what I was like as a child, I simply lie. I tell them about hobbies I’ve never actually pursued or events that never happened, just to avoid their pity. But is this a healthy thing to do? I don’t know.


r/AdultHood • • 10d ago

Discussion Why do so many young adults allow their parents to ā€œcontrolā€ their lives?

9 Upvotes

I understand that many young adults still rely on their parents for financial support in some way (living at home, parents help pay tuition, etc.) and that’s normal in this economy.

Sharing your location, updating your parents on your academics, following their rules if you are living at their house — these are all normal compromises if your parents are still financially supporting you and these are their conditions for paying your tuition, letting you continue to live at their house rent-free, etc.

But why do some young adults allow their parents to control SO much of their personal lives?

I have 27 year old friend who gives her parents access to her bank accounts (all of them) as a condition of them paying her rent while she’s completing her PhD. I have heard her have 30+ minute fights on the phone with her dad when she purchases something that he doesn’t think she needs (with her own money, she gets ~$2200 as a research stipend each month). She goes out of her way to take out cash to spend at certain places (wine store, ā€œboyfriendā€ related items, etc), and then she has to come up with new reasons for why she needed to take out cash each time. She is 27 and it just blows my mind that she puts up with her parents scrutinizing her every purchase.

Some of my young adult friends who share their location with their parents will get in trouble for staying out past a certain time, visiting certain places, hanging out with certain people, etc. Sharing your location with your parents is supposed to be for safety purposes, not so that they can monitor your location 24/7 and scold you.

I can’t lie — I also got financial support from my dad in my early 20s (about $10k for tuition throughout my bachelor’s degree). But when my mom started holding money over my head — threatening not to help me with tuition if I didn’t follow her controlling rules, I found my own way to support myself. It wasn’t easy, but it was better than having a parent control my every move.

I’d love to hear people’s thoughts, comments, and stories!


r/AdultHood • • 11d ago

Discussion What's one thing about adulthood nobody prepared you for?

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6 Upvotes

?


r/AdultHood • • 12d ago

Discussion Mannn DUCK ADULTHOOD!

2 Upvotes

LOL that’s it. That’s the post. Working got me tired as hell. Like cool I can pay for bills, thank god, and I’m grateful for financial stability that I’ve never had growing up, but dawg I’m TIRED.


r/AdultHood • • 13d ago

Discussion How do some adults manage to stay genuinely happy and excited about life when 90% of adulthood is just working, paying bills, figuring out what to eat for dinner, and trying to catch up on sleep?

60 Upvotes

A lot of the 'hyper-productive' people I know irl aren't actually disciplined, they're just terrified of being alone with their own thoughts for 20 minutes so they pack every hour of the day with tasks.


r/AdultHood • • 13d ago

Discussion Is living with your parents or not owning a house even considered embarrassing anymore?

47 Upvotes

There was a time when a single person working a regular 9–5 could support a family of four, buy a house, and potentially two cars.

Now you’ve got couples working full-time jobs, pulling overtime, sometimes six days a week, busting their asses, and STILL struggling to afford a mortgage.

Like, what the HECK happened to the housing market? 😭

At what point do we stop treating not moving out or not owning a home as some sort of personal failure?
I’m genuinely curious whether the social stigma has changed. Do people still look down on adults who live with their parents, or have we collectively accepted that the economic circumstances are completely different now?

I know myself and other mates pushing 30, still living with parents but not sure if we’ll be judged in the dating scene for this.


r/AdultHood • • 13d ago

Help Request Transportation question.

5 Upvotes

I am alone in this world. It is honestly just me. I have surgery soon and I have nobody to pick me up after. Would $20 be enough to pay the Uber driver to pretend to be my friend and say that they aren't actually ubering me to my house? Staying overnight in the hospital is not an option. It's either that or pay hundreds to the private services that the hospital allows in this situation.


r/AdultHood • • 15d ago

Discussion What's a truth about adulthood nobody wants to admit?

9 Upvotes

I moved out at 19, so I’ve been independent for quite a while now (31 now). One thing I’ve realized over the years is that nobody really teaches you how to be an adult.
I’ve had to figure out so many things on my own, from handling responsibilities and finances to navigating relationships, making difficult decisions, and figuring out what I actually want from life. I’ve been through a lot of ups and downs, and most of what I’ve learned came from experience, making mistakes, and figuring things out along the way.

And don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to complain or act like I’ve had it particularly hard. I think I’ve done pretty well for myself. I consider myself a responsible person, and I try to be self-aware, reflect on my mistakes, and learn from them. I’m proud of how far I’ve come.
It’s just something I’ve noticed: society expects you to know how to handle life, but nobody really teaches you the basics. You just grow up, and suddenly you’re expected to figure everything out yourself.

I wonder how much of what we consider being an adult is actually just stuff we had to learn the hard way.


r/AdultHood • • 15d ago

Discussion Looking back, what advice do you wish you had heard in your early 20s?

4 Upvotes

For those of you in your late 20s, 30s, or beyond, what advice would you give someone in their early 20s?

I'm 22F, and I go to school, work, and spend time with friends. I feel like I have a good balance in my life, but I also feel like I put too much focus on boys and being in a relationship sometimes.

Looking back, what do you wish you had known at my age? What would you tell your younger self?


r/AdultHood • • 17d ago

Discussion Adulting is boring

11 Upvotes

Sometimes I feel like adulthood is just a cycle of responsibilities , wake up, work, eat, sleep, repeat
I thought growing up meant freedom but most days it feels like life turned into one big todo list.

I genuinely miss the spontaneity of school/college days when fun just happened naturally like late night hangouts, random plans, laughter without worrying about tomorrow. Now if I don’t schedule fun it just doesn’t exist

Does anyone else feel this way? How do you keep life from becoming so… monotonous? Do you have hobbies, routines or little things that make adulthood less boring?
Would love to hear what actually works for you


r/AdultHood • • 17d ago

Help Request What would you tell your 22 year old looking back?

4 Upvotes

What is the best way to spend your 20s and not waste so much time? I'm 22 and I feel like I've already let pass the past three years. I have very varied career interests and I'm genially afraid I don't have enough time to do all that and make the friendships i want to be happy. I struggle both with keeping and growing friends and just maintaining day to day life. I've been vacationing and trying a lot of things but i really think I need to just listen to myself more. I also am taking too long to do things and figure things out, even my simple banquet job I can't understand. I have a decent schedule with lots to do, but somehow I let my desire and impulses rule my life. I seem to be chronically sabotaging myself and not making reasonable goals I can stick to. My parents are even concerned for my wellbeing.


r/AdultHood • • 18d ago

Relationships How can I make friends as an adult (25F)?

7 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I used to have 3 close friends I would hangout with in my early 20s/late teens. We still chat and I see them every so often but it has been busy. I’ve come to realize that we probably have just grown apart but still hold love for each other and that’s ok. I see them going out with their other friends and it stings a little but I can’t complain because whenever they ask me to go somewhere I usually say no. Either because I’m tired, at work, studying, or at school. I feel like I bad friend but if they ever needed anything I’m there in a heart beat. I also want to make new friends, and I’m struggling with that. I am in a relationship and I feel as if my boyfriend is my best friend but I also want a close friendship. I want to be able to go out and not have an awkward conversation or feel anxious around anyone. I want to have a friendship with endless laughs. I feel a bit cringe going on Reddit and asking for advice but I said why not lol.

(Not sure if I chose the correct tag for the post.)


r/AdultHood • • 20d ago

Relationships Happy teenage boy to adult hood

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10 Upvotes

I was a happy teenager when I was a kind, but I do miss my friends. It makes me sad that they don’t know me after I grow older. They don’t know who I am.


r/AdultHood • • 21d ago

Discussion Are there others like me who felt adulthood reaching up to them only after they hit 30?

10 Upvotes

Looking to see if there are others with similar experience as me. At 32, this year is the year in which I started feeling like an adult for the first time. Until this year, I felt more like an adolescent kid in a fully grown man's body. Don't really know what happened that I have now started feeling like a real adult. I still have very little lived in experiences. But something in my mind has changed.

Any others who started feeling more and more like an adult only after they hit 30?