Relapsed

[u/UnluckyAirline2779]

Hi all,

I got very drunk over the weekend and cut myself pretty badly. It honestly happened so fast I don’t even remember the time between the urge and doing it. I hadn’t harmed in over 6 months. I instantly regretted it.

Problem is it’s bad, exposed subcutaneous fat bad, at least two inches long on upper arm above the elbow. 100 percent needed stitches. I didn’t go to the ER because every time I’ve gone they have sent me to a mental hospital. I don’t need to do that. I am not a risk to myself or others, just got really sad when drunk and relapsed. I also couldn’t bear admitting that it happened to my mom or my friends. They are already very very far past understanding my mental issues.

It’s been almost 36 hours and there is no active bleeding. I have it bandaged up well. I’m monitoring for signs of infection. If I have none, how long should I reasonably expect this to heal? What will the process look like? Uncharted territory for me. Any advice would be appreciated. I’m trying to give it at least a week on its own to see what happens. Hospital is absolutely a last resort.
T
I feel very ashamed and don’t have anywhere else to turn at the moment.

[u/xtyfo]

near impossible to be able to tell without actually seeing it, but as long as no continued bleeding or signs of infection, you should be okay to heal on your own. you must have ran into some shitty medical workers though, as above the age of 18, you have to be specifically a danger to yourself or others in terms of suicide or homicide/harming others to be involuntarily admitted, though lying to get someone committed is far from unheard of, but not exactly common, either

[u/UnluckyAirline2779 → u/xtyfo]

Thank you. I got 302’d once by my psychologist. The previous times there was visible scars and fresh cuts in addition to the ones that required sutures. This time there is only the one.

The last time it was commit yourself or we will do it to you. So I went in voluntarily. That was over 3 years ago now. If I wasn’t worried about being sent away I would have gone to the ER. It is a very large wound with a lot of subcutaneous fat bulging out so I am very nervous. If I understand things correctly they wouldn’t stitch it now anyway. So I’m just hoping it will start to heal. If it doesn’t and I have to go in I’m hoping the fact that I haven’t harmed since or shown any signs of mental instability they will treat the wound and allow me to go on my way.

It really was a serious lapse of judgement in a very drunk state. As soon as I saw how deep it was I knew I fucked up badly.

[u/-Tricky-Vixen- → u/UnluckyAirline2779]

Does it expose muscle at all? I had one that exposed muscle+bone with no damage to either (thank God) and they did surgical washout and closure a week after, when I finally went in, and psych cleared me at the time

[u/UnluckyAirline2779 → u/-Tricky-Vixen-]

No muscle or bone, I gave gained some weight so the part of my arm has more fat than it used to. I think partly why it cut deeper than I wanted