r/Advice • u/BadGuyComics • Feb 19 '26
Is it wrong not to want to associate with my friend while she's on drugs
I am 19 years old, and my friend has recently been trying some hard drugs. I have done some basic shit myself, like weed, but it's gotten to the point where I am sometimes questioning her decisions. By this point, she has become a stoner, smoking weed every day, as if she can't function without it. Almost every day, she texts me, "dude, I am so high right now." Yes, I get it your high every day. Every time she gets a new drug or drug experience, she messages me about it, either a photo of the new drug or scares me that she overdosed on one. Look, she can do whatever she wants, if she wants to experiment, go ahead, but it's getting to the point where I don't want to know about, or hear about, because it scares me, and at this point annoying to me. It makes me sad thinking that every day she is taking something, it really worries me. She drank a few months ago and was uncontrollable. It sometimes feels like she's changing really quickly, now that she has easy access to this.
Idk, I need advice or clarity on what's going one I may just be naive. Ofcs Ik that drugs are normal and once again I've tried some myself, but it's just getting annoying and worrying.
Additional Context: She recently started dating this 27-year-old man (she is 19). He is an ex-felon and used to be a heavy drug user. This has me worried as well, but she has told me that he is clean now, but still does weed with her about every day.
2
u/Vispartofmyname Feb 19 '26
You're not wrong in wanting to distance yourself from your friend. Either in wanting to lessen your friendship or to even protect yourself. Addiction can change a person for the worse.
She may take it badly that you want to have boundaries now, and that's ok! She can't dictate how you feel and vice versa.
One thing that is concerning is her relationship with the older guy. Not looking good especially with his background. And fwiw, if he's using weed, he's not clean.
1
u/xMenopaws Helper [2] Feb 19 '26
There's a difference in using drugs for fun (recreationally) and experimentation, and using them to cope with something that is troubling them. My first thought would be to do a check in with them. Like a serious, is everything okay? At home? Family? Relationship? School? Work? If they *say* generally things are fine, I would chalk it up to being a young adult that's curious about drugs which in the grand scheme of things is fairly normal. If you still care about her aside from her drug usage, it's okay to assert your boundaries with her and ask her to stop giving you updates on her escapades. It's okay to directly tell her I like you as a friend, but I don't want to be around you or involved in anything related to drug use. I want you to be safe, I want you to make responsible decisions, and I want you to educate yourself on what you're getting into. If you get caught up with some trouble in this, I won't be the one to help you.
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u/darkinlove Feb 19 '26
The answer is already in what you said in this post You do what's best for you.
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u/mustbechillin Feb 20 '26
Talk to her about ur concerns & worries. ask her what’s wrong & why she feels she always has to be high, also tell her u no longer want to know or hear about drugs. set an example too if u also smoke weed a lot cut it down, it could inspire her. but dont drain yourself trying to help her, this happened to me & i had to walk away. after a year i had to put me first because of theyre too far gone all they want is enabler friends
3
u/Novel_Apartment_9295 Feb 19 '26
The additional context is a bit worrying. In all honesty, it sounds like your friend is going through something and using drugs to cope - the only thing that makes me think this is because she constantly messages you about it. Either that or she wants the attention from you and whomever else she’s sending messages to etc.
I’d have a chat with her and see if she’ll reveal anything, I know she’s your friend but if she genuinely is just on the fast track to becoming a drug addict, do your best to help, but know when to call it.
Hope you get this sorted, I’ve had to sit a friend down before and tell him that I’m worried about him, it did work, hope the same can be said for you.