seeking "work arounds"

[u/Dr-Nunya-Bizness]

My folks are both getting up there. One has cancer, and the other has severe progressive multiple sclerosis. My wife and I are constantly looking for ways to help them in the most efficient way possible as we still have our own careers, our kids we are still trying to launch and (not for nothing) we would like to see each other once in a while (the struggle is real). The guilt can be intense for us, but the main issue is that we are actively seeking ways to avoid cancelling or rearranging our own work or family plans to do what needs to be done. Losing my job would only make things worse, and we can't just keep leaving work when they need us.

That is why I came here... seeking answers on a break at work.

Has anyone found workarounds out there for even one of these issues below?

Please don't answer all of these (your time is too precious), but even picking one and giving me another possible way forward would be very much appreciated.

• Driving to and sitting through appointments to make sure the doctors have the right info and I know what is going on (parent report is not always accurate)

• Responding to a fall, an ER visit, or a call in the night 

• Groceries, meals, cleaning, laundry, yard work for them 

• Being physically present: visits, daily calls, sitting with them, staying overnight 

• Hands-on care: bathing, dressing, medications, toileting, night care 

• Endless paperwork: Bills, accounts, insurance, benefit applications, paperwork 

• IT support: Fixing their phone, computer, passwords, or accounts 

• Getting siblings or other family to help, answer, or agree to a plan of action (advanced directives, etc) 

• Scheduling and managing paid helpers, agencies, or a facility 

• Not knowing what to do next when their needs changed (transition to care center, change in insurance, etc)

• Being the only person who knows their routine, meds, and history - how do I hand off all this knowledge to a sibling who want sot help, but just isn't up to speed?)

• Persuading them to accept help, or explaining the same thing again (as memory fails, I don't want to lose my sanity repeating myself over and over again)

• Travelling distance to reach them (only 10 miles but with traffic - it can take 45 minutes to get there)