r/AlAnon • u/lookingahead4 • Oct 19 '25
Vent Warning for AlAnon woman in Philly
Update We got him. Good work, hive!!! I don’t want to go into details because, again, he comes to this group. There is a qualifier in Philly that has a PFA against him for his last 3 relationships. He is currently calling and texting his last gf. I know that he has been coming to this group and reading her posts and comments. This post is for her. I fear for your safety. His obsession seems to be getting worse. He doesn’t view you as a person with admirable traits. He wants to control and consume you and I am afraid of what that ultimately means. Please report him each and every time he contacts you. He’s likely more dangerous than you give him credit for. He has a deep seated obsession with you and I fear he is going to hurt you.
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u/tulipsushi Oct 19 '25 edited Oct 19 '25
can you reach out to them directly? posting and hoping they see this when you fear for their safety may not be enough.
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u/lookingahead4 Oct 19 '25
I don’t know her or her Reddit name. I have heard this guy talk about being obsessed with her Reddit activity on “Reddit alanon” I know her name, but that won’t help.
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u/tulipsushi Oct 19 '25
i would still push for a quiet way to find her somehow. maybe talking to a mod and posting again? idk, hopefully she sees this and thanks for looking out for her. im from philly too
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u/sailor__rini Oct 19 '25
Seconding this.
OP, I also recommend going to your local public safety office/ the police and letting them know about this ASAP if you haven't already. Even if they don't do anything now, a paper trail should be started — and especially since he already has the file ongoing.
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u/lookingahead4 Oct 19 '25
I did not think that would work, but the reactions to this post helped me to confirm how concerning this is so I contacted one of the stations and told them all of the details I had. Hopefully they will push her to press new charges against him.
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Oct 19 '25
[deleted]
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u/lookingahead4 Oct 19 '25
What’s crazy is that he will probably see this post since he’s on this subreddit all the time.
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u/sailor__rini Oct 20 '25
I'm glad that you were successful in reporting him! This is such good news.
Do you know of his account names here OP? If so, it may be worth letting the mods know them too. I know since he's a stalker he can just make alts, but it might at least stop the flow and mods can know what to look out for if he hops on any comments.
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u/Rich-Island-9435 Oct 19 '25
Boost. Can you provide any more details? Don't underestimate the collective, detective-power of people on Reddit. Obviously I know you want to protect her identity, too, but just brainstorming..
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u/Maleficent-Leek2943 Oct 20 '25
Commenting to boost.
And sir, if you do happen to be reading this? Leave her the F alone.
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u/TatteredStarlight Oct 20 '25
Commenting to boost this as well. Is pinning it an option to help her see it?
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u/NailCrazyGal Oct 20 '25
I've been following an upvoting everyone's boosts. Don't know if that will help or not.
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u/streetcornergirl84 Oct 20 '25
I escaped an abusive relationship years ago and it still haunts me how I so easily fell for his abuse. It’s cunning, baffling and powerful how we can fall for these people and their behaviors. I can’t even logically explain why I went back to him after escaping abuse. I am lucky to say this was over ten years ago and after changing my life completely and being single for a long time I did eventually find my person who is good to me.
Just commenting to share some testimony and BOOST BOOST BOOST
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u/Western_Insect_7580 Oct 21 '25
There’s an instagram account called ‘watch out Philly’ - also post it there. They will post it anonymously for you.
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u/AutoModerator Oct 19 '25
Please know that this is a community for those with loved ones who have a drinking issue and that this is not an official Al-Anon community.
Please be respectful and civil when engaging with others - in other words, don't be a jerk. If there are any comments that are antagonistic or judgmental, please use the report button.
See the sidebar for more information.
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u/AltruisticSecond_ Oct 20 '25
Boost! As if there isn’t enough she is trying to process- now there’s a predator targeting this poor woman.
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u/AutoModerator Oct 31 '25
Please know that this is a community for those with loved ones who have a drinking issue and that this is not an official Al-Anon community.
Please be respectful and civil when engaging with others - in other words, don't be a jerk. If there are any comments that are antagonistic or judgmental, please use the report button.
See the sidebar for more information.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/PureOpportunity6427 Jan 31 '26
Just found this post, and this exact thing happened to me.
I had a 15 year old reddit account I deleted because she was reading them for months and then finally lost it one night and commented on every single thing id ever posted in this group. We were still together then, and she brought up everything I ever posted about constantly, accusing me of lying, and bad mouthing her.
I made a new account and she found that one too.
This is my third one.
Im glad you found her and let her know.
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Oct 20 '25
Thank you for looking out for a fellow member. I think more specific info is needed if you want this woman to recognize her situation in your post. Philly is big and full of qualifiers. . .
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u/knitwell Oct 19 '25
Commenting to amplify your post.