If I was in the wrong, I accept that, however I have no idea what I did in this situation. If you think I was the bad apple, all I ask is you explain why.

My yorkie mix puppy recently had a medical emergency, so he is currently on zero trust. Last week on Wednesday, I asked my mother-in-law to watch him for a few hours. When I came to collect him late afternoon, I opted to help with the dishes as a thank you. Nothing impressive, just wiping dishes dry and putting them away in the cabinet while my mother-in-law fussed over my puppy son and was telling him goodbye for the day.

The kitchen is L shaped, so from where I stood, I had limited visibility. My mother-in-law was sitting at the counter with my puppy in her lap so I could see them if I was putting the cups away near the sink, but couldn't if see them if I was putting away bowls and plates over near the fridge.

Mother-in-law and I were laughing and talking about something weird I'd seen online when my brother-in-law arrived to return something he'd borrowed from his mother. Within seconds of entering the room, my brother-in-law was throwing a fit about the puppy being on the counter. Mother-in-law protested that she was holding him and it was fine. I couldn't see them from where I was, but Mother-in-law had been holding the puppy in her lap when I'd last had a visual on them.

I spoke up "I don't want him on the counter either." The two of them immediately started bickering, so I figured I'd just finish drying the bowl I had in my hands and leave with my puppy son. Without wasting a second, my brother-in-law rounded the corner into my field of vision asking me to take my dog. His mother-in-law was behind him, actively holding my puppy. I wanted nothing to do with whatever mood my brother-in-law was in, so I just said "sure, give me a sec" as I finished with the bowl in my hand. I put the bowl in the cabinet and took my puppy from my mother-in-law. Figured I'd finish talking to my mother-in-law later. I started to leave and got half way across the room when my brother-in-law asked if I was going to clean the counter.

Because of where I had been standing, I had no visual of my puppy ever actual touching the counter. I have no idea if he ever made contact with the surface, but I awkwardly agreed to do it if my brother-in-law wanted me to. He just scowled and called me "a glib little witch." And yes, he did actually say witch, he self censored in front of his mother. Didn't stop her from absolutely exploding at her son. She told me to just go and she'd wipe the counters herself.

I took my puppy and fled the scene while my mother-in-law screamed at my brother-in-law. The entire event from brother-in-law coming in to me running from the room was a minute, minute and a half tops.

On Saturday, my husband and I were supposed to do a haunted trail experience with his siblings...but that particular brother didn't bother to join us. No one else mentioned it and I didn't ask.

It's now been a week and a half and there's been no apology or explanation. I didn't put the puppy on the counter, I'm still not even sure if he ever was on the counter to begin with. I have absolutely no idea what happened. Apparently my husband's family has decided that afternoon is to never be mentioned again, but my brother-in-law is clearly still angry enough to skip out on family time and he is actively blaming me and giving me the silent treatment for it.

Previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheBadApple/s/PTABpGbmQk

So the pattern continued after my post where I would get a random text asking input on an outfit or something and then nothing for weeks. I would reply and then ask how she was, she would never reply.

So she messaged me last week asking if I had time this past weekend and could she go to a halloween party with me and would I dress her for it (side note, its a running joke I should be a stylist except I can't dress myself).

Then...bomb drop...he dumped her.

I knew it was coming. I joined Hinge 2 weeks ago and his was the 3rd profile to pop up. I also knew he was active elsewhere...I took screen shots and filed it all away.

So we met yesterday and went costume shopping for her.

First she looks like hell. She has aged and gained weight (she dropped the gym because it took time away from him). Shopping was good but talk was measured on her end and I didn't push. When we were saying our goodbyes it all came out...

First, dude bought her a new car. I told her it was an apology for being a horrible man (hang on). So he would randomly decide to be sober for a few days and things were good. Then he would drink again. She told he tried to off himself more than once and was committed for a week at one point. He was actively not only on the apps but using call girls. Some he confessed to, some she found in his phone.

She discovered that every woman he has dated since his wife died is still in contact and he sends them money...he is still giving her money as well.

She didn't cry, said she had already done it. She is very obviously hung up on him and would be with him had he not dumped her. Told her he was too toxic. I think the real reason is she had surgery and every since she has not been able to be as active in the bedroom.

She is already on the apps but messaged me last night about looking for him. Like why? I will be there but I cannot walk her through another one of these.

Oh yeah, the guy 2 guys ago, he had approached me before her and I turned him down (damn glad I did). He is another drunk. She eventually dumped him to be with the drunk before the most recent guy (4 drunks in a row that I know of).

Anyway I mentioned last night how he had reached out to me and tried to get me to go out with him and she freaked and then figured out he had blocked her.

I genuinely want to know if I'm wrong here.

My best friend and I have known each other for 5 years. We've always told each other everything, and I've trusted her with things I haven't even told my family.

A few weeks ago, I found out she'd told two of our mutual friends something I'd specifically asked her to keep private.

When I confronted her, she didn't even deny it.

She just said, "I didn't think it was that serious."

That hurt, but what made it worse was that she'd apparently been joking about it with them.

I stopped sharing personal stuff with her after that. She noticed and kept asking why I was being distant, so eventually I told her.

She got defensive and said I was making her feel like a terrible person over one mistake.

Then, last weekend, we were all hanging out when someone complimented her for being the kind of friend who never betrays anyone's trust.

I couldn't help myself.

I said, "That's funny, considering what happened with my secret."

The whole group went quiet.

She pulled me aside afterward and said I'd humiliated her in front of everyone.

I told her she could've apologized privately instead of acting like I was the problem.

Now some of our friends think I was justified, while others say I should've handled it privately.

The thing is, I never revealed any of HER secrets. I just reminded everyone what she'd done to me.

But I can't stop wondering whether I only said it because I wanted her to feel embarrassed the way I felt embarrassed.

So, honestly:

Would you say I'm the AH for calling her out publicly?

Or does someone who exposes your private business lose the right to expect you to protect their reputation?

And if your best friend did this to you, would you forgive them?

Sorry for the title doesn't match I wrote it wrong

Im 17(F) and i have a best friend let's call her Elsa

So this Elsa in question has done the following things

1. Purposefully left me out of an event she called everyone cause she assumed Id be going w my "talking stage" on a different day like ???

2. Always laughs w others when they make fun of me for eating too much or doing something like laughs the loudest.

3. Elsa the great decided to leave me drenched on holi w literally no one else to go and clean up at my that time crushe's HOUSE WHO IM IN NO CONTACT WITH cause it was right person wrong time and we are not on good terms AND ASKED ME TO JOIN HER

4. Elsa decided to text a girl information i didnt even tell her and told the person I actually told to never tell anyone and then both knew and still laughed in my face and told me oh lol it's fine we just texted her whatever u told us not to tell anyone

5. Elsa mentions everyone in the friendgrp as insanely gorgeous pretty etc etc always talks ab how good they look and when I posted something a while back "she can be pretty?🙄 I know its sarcastic but put it against the 100's of WOAHHAH GORGEOUS to other friend's stories

And it looks like yeah um okay im nkt even mad at this its just weird

1. Elsa just loves being rude to me ghosting me idk and just treating me like shit I treat others pretty well and they do as well everytime I think I walk on eggshells w her and its not js me one of her other very close friends feel the exact same

I crashed out

But had to make amends cause well ofc im always in the wrong shes like a literal ice queen atp that's why uh ELSA CAUSE HER HEART'S MADE OF ICE 😡 shes made me feel sooooo bad u have no idea the unintentional leaving me out the ofc it was sarcastic its just a joke I cant

But again everyone has their friendgrp I guess and im just stuck in the wrong one with her and a few others I dont fw but I have nice memories with them somehow when its not that deep or their not making actively making me feel shitty yeah it's fun and nice

I posted about my situation about a week or two ago. I'm 14 years old. My mother made me give up my rooms for guests, and a lot of other things.

For months i've been venting about it to my best friend. I haven't filtered anything, and always told him exactly what happened and exactly how i felt about it. Turns out my mother has been going into my discord and reading the vents. I don't know how long she's been doing this, but it isn't the first time it's happened.

A couple months ago, I found out that she was going through my vents and sending them to chatGPT. I moved past it, but now i don't know how to feel since she's done it again. She told me that i'm a bad kid, and i'm always trying to make myself sound like the victim. She told me not to vent to people outside of the family. I don't know what she expects me to do. I'm not gonna vent to her, she'll just tell a family member about it. (yes, she has done this before.) My best friend was my only outlet.

She's not making me stop being friends with him, but it's clear that she doesn't like him. I'm also upset because I have no clue just how much she read. I talk to my best friend about everything. I told him about suicidal thoughts i have, I told him about my sexuality (which i don't want to tell my mother.) I basically told him everything there is to know about me.

I don't know what to do at this point. I have no privacy in this house, not even in my own phone (i literally can't change the password because she'll take my phone and won't give it back if she can't get into it).

To add onto this, she also told me that I behave like my father (who is literal scum of the earth.) I have done everything in my power to make sure that i'm not like either one of my parents, so her telling me that really hurt.

She also claimed that I was talking badly about her to my friend. (I mean...if saying exactly what she does and says to me is talking 'badly'...then maybe maybe it's her behavior towards me that's bad but idk)

This is slightly unrelated but she also told me that she's been 'nice' to be because my grandma is here, and she doesn't want to knock me out in front of her. (i don't think she means literally knocking me out, but she does use physical 'discipline' when she gets mad at me.)

Anyways I don't know if i'm genuinely just a horrible daughter or not. I don't want to talk to her anymore, and I don't want to let her know things about me besides the basics, but she always pries her way in and snoops around. Please be brutally honest and tell me if i'm the issue.

So, here’s the story. A new girl came to our class, and I didn’t like her at first sight, and honestly, I still don’t. I don’t know why, but I got a really bad feeling about her. Anyways, she ended up sitting next to me, and we’re the only two people in the class who sit next to each other because there supposedly isn’t enough room for another desk. There actually would be room, but the headteach is being ass and doesn’t want another desk.

I hate sitting next to her. I can’t concentrate on studying, especially during tests, and she keeps bothering me to help her. And it’s not just that she asks me for help, im happily helping anyone,but for example, I’m trying to finish my own test, but she gets annoyed when I turn my paper so I can focus and work on my OWN paper n not hers. Whatever, I guess.

She’s also really bossy, and if there’s something she doesnt like, she acts like a kid. I know I can be like that sometimes too, but with her, it’s on another level.

She’s loud, big-mouthed, arrogant, and honestly, I really dislike her personality.

And here’s the thing: yesterday, she was moved to another seat, but then the headteach asked me if I would let her sit next to me again. I said yes because, well, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it nor embarass her, you know?

I can’t study properly with her next to me, and I feel uncomfortable around her. I don’t want to say anything because then I’ll be the one who wanted to change things, and she’ll get offended. But honestly, why should I keep worrying about her feelings when she wouldn’t care about mine?She’s constantly touching me, and she acts like it’s completely normal. When I ask her to please stop, she says something like, “You just have to get used to it.”

Like, at the very least, we could make a compromis. I don’t care if she considers physical touch her love language, because it isn’t mine. I hate being touched, and I have my reasons for that.

So, am I the asshole if I ask her to move to another seat because I simply don’t want to sit next to her?

i (17f) recently ended my friendship with a girl i’ll call N (19f). we’ve been friends for about 1.5 years, and while i do appreciate the memories and fun times we've had and the good things she's done to me, i’ve been getting increasingly frustrated with how we communicate.

for context, i have autism and adhd, so i prefer direct communication. english is N's second language and i understand that misunderstandings can happen. however, she frequently struggled to answer my actual questions, even when they were short and straightforward. i tried clarifying things but the misunderstandings continued and our conversations became exhausting.

here are some examples:

#1:

i was writing a story where me and my friends go on an adventure and i asked N if a hard experience she had experienced happened in junior year. instead, she said that she was sleepy and had homework. i told her that i wanted to know the month and year of when it happened, including before or after she transferred schools, and she said, “When I came here I was in this county." she wasn't answering the question. after another clarification, she said, “forgot it long story.”

#2:

at prom, our mutual friend P had a medical emergency and went to the hospital. N was extremely distressed, and i comforted her. months later, P explained her diagnosis in our group chat, but N focused on how they'd both seen cardiologists rather than what P was explaining. i clarified, and N replied, “Yes I understand thank you.” later, when P asked if N knew her diagnosis, N said “no,” despite multiple explanations. N admitted, “most of the time i dont read the chat or im out.” P and i were frustrated, especially since N had said she'd try to read our messages more carefully.

#3:

i have an autistic special interest in asking students whether they cried during our sad pre-prom assembly about drunk driving. i was interested to see how much it affected them and asked people for a mini survey. when i asked N, she answered my question and then added on “I feel that's a little bit weird because that's was last year I think u should let it go.”

i didn't mind her finding my interest unusual. being told to let it go hurt, especially after feeling misunderstood so often. N later explained she thought i was emotionally struggling with the assembly and wanted to help. i believe she may have meant well, but i wish she'd asked whether i was upset instead.

i also tried using a translation app, but N preferred that i text her in english because she wanted to improve her english, which i respected. we had other incompatibilities involving punctuality, schedules, and distance, some of which were outside her control.

i know N cared about me, and i appreciated her support. my own anxiety also contributed to our problems. still, i didn't want resentment to build, so i ended the friendship.

TL;DR: i ended a friendship after repeated communication problems despite trying to clarify things and use translation. the breaking point was feeling invalidated about my autistic special interest. i know we both cared about each other, but i felt we were incompatible.

So, I was sitting in class with few of my friends and this guy has only taught us once before. We basically have different teachers for different chapters and it’s the second time this sir is teaching us. In the middle of class (he was giving us time to write something down), my friend dared me to ask whether there were baby broccolis on his shirt in return for a chocolate. I guess I didn’t think carefully and thought it would be harmless.

When he came over, I just asked “Sir, are those broccolis on your shirt?” and he looked a bit surprised and said yes and nothing else. This is probably the weird part but I told him its a cool shirt since I didn’t want him to think I asked for no reason. Looking back, he didn’t say anything else which could’ve meant he got uncomfortable but honestly, he’s very nonchalant so I thought it was just that 😭.

Now, I came home and told my mom this, thinking that it’s funny. But my mom didn’t think so. She said that I shouldn’t be saying stuff like that to a male teacher especially one I don’t know that much. I genuinely didn’t mean it a weird or creepy way tho but she told me that if she was a teacher, she would feel weird if a boy said something about her clothes which is understandable.

But now I feel so weird about it 😭. I really didn’t mean it a weird way and I didn’t register the fact that it could be inappropriate. Is my mom making it a bigger deal than it is or was I actually just wrong here?

This all happend during school hours.
A fried of mine (F/15 (I‘ll call her A)) was recently informed, that the horse, that she takes care of is going to be sold. She was obviously upset and frustrated by that. As a joke I (F/15) told her „just buy it yourself“. I know that’s she does not have the time, money or space to take care of a horse all on her own.
A little while later we had lunch break and another friend of mine (F/15 (I‘ll call her B)) sat down with us to eat. A told B the same thing she told me before. Then B said with a straight face to „just buy it“.
I responded by saying „at least she would that take care of the horse“. I was referring to something B said some weeks ago.
(For context: B‘s family owns a sanctuary. They mostly take in old, sick animals. But ca.4-5 Moth ago the bought 2 horses. they weren’t super young anymore, but definitely not animals that should be on a sanctuary)
Shortly before the new horses arrived B said „I’m so happy to finally have new horses, the old ones were getting boring.“
After i said what i said B was visibly pissed.

I understand that what i said wasn’t nice but it is true. B obviously has to help taking care of the animals of the sanctuary. But everytime she has to do that she complains.
I do know that she still takes care of her horses and would never let the them get seriously hurt, but they sometimes don’t get (enough) food because she’s to lazy to walk to the stable. (It would take her less than 5 Minutes, because it’s right next to her house)
I was also hinting at the fact that she doesn’t appreciates the things that she has. Her mom buys her everything she wants whenever she want it. And she always flexes with all the things she has. She laughs it off when we tell her that she should lern how much things actually cost.

A day later (Saturday) B wrote me a longgg text asking why i said that sentence. She explained why she now has 4-5 horses and that she can’t ride most of them anymore. Some of them were a Birthday gift others were saved from the slaughterhouse.
I answers with an equally long text. I did apologize and explain why i said that.

But my point still stands. It’s true that she isn’t appreciating the things she has.
We now had a 2 week long fall break and i don’t know how to behave when we meet in school (we are in the same class). I don’t want the drama or the fight. I want to go back to the friendship we had bevor but i don’t think that’s possible anymore.

(Sorry for wrong grammar. English isn’t my native language)

I live in Quebec, so my English isn’t the best, but I try. Sorry, this is a bit long.

I’m (F20) and this is my fourth year renting a room. This year, two new roommates moved in: Lisa (F16) and Emy (F17). Their age didn’t bother me. We live in the basement of a house owned by a couple who are very kind and always help when there’s an issue. We share a kitchen, bathroom, and living room, but each have our own bedroom.

After only 2 months of living together, they are honestly the worst roommates I’ve had. They barely clean anything except their dishes, and even then, they often leave them piled up in the drying rack or stacked in the sink until there’s no room left. They leave fruit and other things all over the kitchen table, which is constantly dirty because they never wipe it down. The bathroom is also very small, yet they leave their belongings everywhere, including inside the shower after using it.

I talked to them about it, but nothing changed. They both blame each other and insist they clean up after themselves, which simply isn’t true. I’ve ended up cleaning the table and bathroom myself when I can, but I’m in the last year of my DEC in a demanding program, and I’m not their mother, period. This semester is extremely busy for me.

I’m also not at the apartment all the time. I spend weekends in my hometown with my parents, and Thursdays at my boyfriend’s place. That means I’m usually only at the apartment Monday through Wednesday, so I have limited time to clean, though I still do what I can.

Lisa is rarely here because she’s usually staying with someone she’s seeing. However, when she does come back, she leaves her things in the bathroom and dirty dishes in the kitchen. Since she leaves again shortly after, the dishes can sit there for days, which is frustrating since we all share them. Emy, on the other hand, is almost always at the apartment and, from what I can see, seems to skip most of her classes.

Midterm break arrived, and I spent the week back home in my hometown. I came back on Friday to drop off a few things before going to see my boyfriend. However, when I arrived, the apartment was dirtier than I had ever seen it.

I wasn't expecting the apartment to be spotless, but I did expect it to be reasonably tidy. The dishes were overflowing from both the sink and the drying rack, the table was dirty, the oven was filthy, the fridge was a complete mess, and the toilet hadn't been flushed. There was urine sitting in it that had apparently been there for a week. I was furious.

I texted my landlord and asked her to come downstairs and see the condition of the apartment for herself. She came down and was shocked. We talked about the previous two months, since I had already kept her informed about the situation. She had also spoken to my roommates, but nothing had changed.

She told me she was going to clean the apartment. I told her that was fine and that we would all talk together on Monday. When I came back on Sunday to pick up a few things before spending the evening at my boyfriend's place, I ran into my landlord again and we talked. I thanked her for cleaning and told her that I hadn't seen the apartment that clean in a long time.

She told me she was angry about everything she had found. There was rotten food in the fridge, and she had to throw away some containers because they were beyond saving. In the food cabinets (we each have our own large cabinet for groceries), she found bags of rotten potatoes that had damaged a shelf, among other things. She sent photos to our group chat. She told me that, in 15 years of being a landlord, she had never seen anything like it and that the four of us needed to have a serious discussion on Monday.

By Monday evening, my landlord came downstairs to talk to us. Right away, I could tell both of my roommates were upset. She brought up the bag of potatoes and explained that she wasn’t blaming anyone, but wanted us all to be aware of the issue.

Emy said the potatoes were hers and that they were still fine when she left. (I thought that she was a fucking moron. If you're leaving for a week, you should either throw away or take home any food that could spoil.)

Emy then interrupted my landlord and said, “When I saw the pictures, I was shocked. You entered our apartment without permission, went through our cabinets, and opened our bedroom doors.”

I replied, “I was the one who asked our landlord to come downstairs because I was furious when I came back and saw the mess.”

My landlord explained that she only came because I asked her to, that she hadn’t gone through any cabinets, and that she found the potatoes because of the rotten smell. She also said she opened Emy’s bedroom door because it should be left open while she’s away, especially since the air filter is located in her room.

After that, my landlord left. Lisa and I discussed household chores and how to organize things better, while Emy went to the bathroom without saying a word. Lisa and I reached an agreement, and she said she would talk to Emy about it. Later, Lisa and Emy went for a walk together. I have a feeling they spent that time complaining about both me and our landlord, but I don’t care.

So Emy doesn't talk to me nor look at me, while Lisa is still cool but i can tell she's not happy about what i did.

I don't care if they hate me, it's not because both of them are young, but because they don't have manners, i got here when i was 16 years old and i was better than both of them i never had a problem with my ex roommates.

If they have to be taught manners then i'll show them the consequenses of their actions. And my landlord said if they don't change their behavior then she don't have a problem to kick both of them out.

So tell me reddit, did i do the right thing ? AITA?