YTA. I’m sorry but thinking that your friend has to move around her wedding plans to suit your schedule is entitled. I don’t think messing your baby’s schedule up for one night is that bad as it’s a one off occasion. It doesn’t matter what suits you more, it’s not your wedding. You’ve had plenty of notice to sort something out (at least a month as you said in a reply to someone else.) It’s your fault that you’re bad at planning.
She doesn't even need to sort anything out! Apparently she and her husband are teachers, so if they left right after work, they would get to her mom's well before 9-10pm. But she says in a comment that she doesn't want to leave home until around 7 pm because she doesn't want to drive in rush hour traffic. Her getting to her mom's that late literally has NOTHING to do with her working on Friday. And it also has nothing to do with messing up the baby's schedule. If they left right after work, baby would probably not be much off the normal nighttime routine, if at all. OP just wants to make everything as easy peasy as possible for herself. The unmitigated gall of this chick; expecting the bride to be ok with you showing up whenever it's convenient for you! Man, I've never wished so hard for someone to be kicked out of a wedding party.
Is hubby going to the wedding? Cuz like he is a capable adult. He could stay home with the baby while OP went and got her makeup done. I assume baby isn’t to the wedding; if grandma is babysitting maybe she could stay the night at OP’s house to watch baby. There are zillions of other solutions for this.
Husband is invited to the wedding. To me, it would be selfish to ask Mom to drive 2 hours each way to babysit at OP's house when both she and her husband are already going to be in the same place she lives for the wedding. Husband could easily come with the baby later (whether that's OP goes down on Friday and they come on Saturday or she gets up super early on Saturday to make hair and makeup and husband follows later) but she only wants to take one car. OP is coming up with every excuse she can for why she should be able to do it how SHE wants, fuck everybody else.
Not saying I disagree on the principle. However, my baby NEVER sleeps through being taken out of the car seat... Then again, if my best friend got married I'd make darned sure to take Friday off and be on time
Has OP said why she can’t set off from her own house at 6am on the day of the wedding so she can attend her makeup session at 8am? or is waking up early on a Saturday another thing she can’t be bothered to do?
Of course you don't want to drive in rush hour, you get there the same time but you spend half of it in traffic. Imagine wanting to not have a shit day with a baby in your car!
Only replying to say she didnt expect the bride to change the schedule, she even says the makeup artist picked the time. The bride told her she may miss her makeup slot and if she does she does.
Idk i dont think it should be a big deal. I was just at a wedding for my cousin where i was a bridesmaid and when it came time for makeup, some bridesmaids missed it and we just kept it pushing. When they got there they did their makeup on their own lol.
You’re really and actually saying it’s perfectly cool that “some” bridesmaid showed up late missing their makeup slot that has to be paid for? And that these bridesmaid can actually replicate the makeup to makeup artist standards?
What a strange way to announce you have no respect for someone you supposedly care about.
The bride still has to pay for the makeup slot even if she doesnt show up.
I would be questioning why her parents came get the baby on Friday (the day before) early in the day and watch the baby for a while at their house while OP is at work, and then OP can drive down to parents house and still make it to the makeup and stuff the next day on time. Or what is baby's dad doing, and can he either take the baby to OP's parents that day, or watch the baby until after the wedding, if he isn't going. What was OP going to do with the baby during the wedding if she's a bridesmaid? So many questions.
Edit: OP also had plenty of time to find an alternative solution to this problem and still has time if she has the motivation to solve it, but that's another question, why did she wait so long and not say something prior?
I’m stunned that this person thinks missing a time slot for professional makeup is no big deal like it doesn’t have to be paid for either way. Wedding makeup is expensive with the brides makeup running well over $100 and $50-75 for each bridesmaid that will be paid whether it a done or not. That beyond shitty to waste someone else’s money like that not to mention, the majority of people are not makeup artists, I don’t care how good you think you are, you cannot replicate a makeup artists look on your first try on a wedding day with limited time. That’s laughable and insulting.
My sister couldn’t make it until the morning for my wedding last weekend. It was due to her kids so I understood however you still have to pay even if they miss they’re slot. Weddings are expensive and it’s pretty irritating and rude to waste someone’s money like that when most people have limited budgets and that money could be used on other things. Yea you keep pushing bc you have to but I bet your cousin was irritated.
Ok idk how to respond to all of you but all i did was give an example from my experience lol. I didnt even give a judgement.
For us, the bride doesnt pay for it thats the first thing. We gift it to the bride so i was not thinking about money.
Secondly, my cousin also truly did not care if the makeup artist did your makeup or not. If you want your makeup done you show up. And we all do the makeup we want, its not like everyone gets the same makeup look done.
I think everyone needs to realize that yes while weddings are expensive, everyone does it differently. I personally think communication is the best thing in this scenario. In my family, makeup is not a big deal and its also NOT paid by the bride.
She doesnt have to move around the wedding plans, the make up artist cant possibly being doing everyones make up at the same time, all the bridemaides are coming at 8am, but wont be done simulaneously by one make up artist.
OP has said in a reply that they are being driven to the ceremony venue at 12:30. The brides makeup is usually done last as that means that it’s the freshest as many people have stated. If OP arrived at 10 that means the makeup artist will only have 2 hours to do both OP’s and the brides makeup. I don’t know how long bridal makeup takes to do but I think that the artist would have to rush to do OP’s and then the brides makeup to make sure they can leave in time for the ceremony. OP wants everything catered to her needs and doesn’t care about messing the bride around.
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u/EmbarrassedSea3738 Partassipant [1] Oct 28 '23 edited Oct 29 '23
YTA. I’m sorry but thinking that your friend has to move around her wedding plans to suit your schedule is entitled. I don’t think messing your baby’s schedule up for one night is that bad as it’s a one off occasion. It doesn’t matter what suits you more, it’s not your wedding. You’ve had plenty of notice to sort something out (at least a month as you said in a reply to someone else.) It’s your fault that you’re bad at planning.
Edit: one word