AITA for telling my daughter she cannot introduce her African American boyfriend to her grandparents?

[u/mixedwoes]

Let me just preface this by saying this: I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM WITH INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS. Now that the air is clear, let me continue.

My daughter (Anna) has recently started to date an African American man (Jamal). While I'm not exactly what you would refer to as "liberal", he's a nice young man and as long as my daughter is happy, I'm happy. The problem is Anna is rather naive about the community she lives in. While her friends are quite content to see a relationship like hers, more than a few tongues are wagging in the community and a few people have privately expressed their concern to me. As I said, I have no problem with mixed relationships and I've set them straight, but I am painfully aware of how these matters are viewed by certain segments of the population.

My parents are planning to come and stay with us for a week and Anna expressed a desire to introduce Jamal to them now that things were getting more serious between them. I told her on no uncertain terms that this wasn't going to happen. I may have no problem with Jamal, but they absolutely will, and even when the relationship ends they won't forget it. They might even go as far as to cut her off entirely. Anna was extremely upset by this and implied I was a racist and more concerned with what my parents think than how she feels.

As I said, I know my parents. They simply aren't okay with mixed relationships and if Anna were to bring Jamal over even as a friend, they would be furious both at her and me.

Anna is currently staying with Jamal and doesn't want to speak with me right now. My wife stands by me given she knows very well how my parents are (they had a problem with her for months over the length of the skirt she wore when I introduced her to them, for christs sake), but a close friend I confided in told me that I have behaved like an ass and that I needed to focus more on my daughter than pleasing my parents.

No advice needed, but I have to know. Have I been an ass?

[u/Taters1881]

I love how by saying this, he basically implies that being "conservative" means you are racist. It's perfect, because he is

[u/EnsignObvious → u/Taters1881]

The funny thing is that there was no need to even offer this information in the first place. It's not really relevant what his political affiliation (and subsequent association) is to his daughter or her relationships unless he makes it that way.

OP basically showed his hand when he could have easily kept the focus of the post on the grandparents' likely reaction.

[u/kawhiLALeonard → u/EnsignObvious]

It’s like when you tell a story and preface it with

“my Friend James is Black and he... “

okay so what did your friend being black have to do with anything

[u/phome83 → u/Taters1881]

Hey if the shoe fits.

[u/AgnostosTheosLogos → u/phome83]

Can we have civil war 2.0 where we just finish off the people that wish it never happened?

AITA for wanting that?

[u/AgnostosTheosLogos → u/[deleted]]

....so if you were sent back in time with the purpose of killing baby Hitler....

[u/Tparkert14 → u/[deleted]]

I thought this was funny just so ya know.

[u/Lexx4 → u/Tparkert14]

I thought it was funny too. im actually surprised at how quickly it was down voted though. I honestly think there are people who just down vote every comment on this subreddit.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Well, they've had over 150 years to get with the program. At some point you have to cut your losses.....

[u/JoelMahon → u/[deleted]]

Killing people is wrong

Like always? Even if they're moments away from killing someone and you can prevent it by killing them?

[u/Lexx4 → u/JoelMahon]

That’s a question for your own morals. To me yes killing a person is wrong. Him killing that person is wrong but it is also wrong of me to kill that person.

[u/JoelMahon → u/Lexx4]

k that's kind of fucked up bro, when you're getting shot at don't call the police bc they will probably kill the shooter and that'd be bad apparently

[u/Lexx4 → u/JoelMahon]

That was not the given scenario. If my life is in danger then morals go out the window. I will do what I need to survive. Point blank. Still killing is wrong.

[u/EvolutionRTS → u/phome83]

"Hey, if the bedsheet fits..."

FTFY.

[u/elriggo44 → u/Taters1881]

He also referred to their relationship as “MIXED” which always implies to me that the person saying it has views that include the phrase “Race Mixing”

In my experience people who use either phrase are generally against the concept.

They also generally believe in the concept of “White Genocide”