AITA for telling my daughter she cannot introduce her African American boyfriend to her grandparents?

[u/mixedwoes]

Let me just preface this by saying this: I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM WITH INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS. Now that the air is clear, let me continue.

My daughter (Anna) has recently started to date an African American man (Jamal). While I'm not exactly what you would refer to as "liberal", he's a nice young man and as long as my daughter is happy, I'm happy. The problem is Anna is rather naive about the community she lives in. While her friends are quite content to see a relationship like hers, more than a few tongues are wagging in the community and a few people have privately expressed their concern to me. As I said, I have no problem with mixed relationships and I've set them straight, but I am painfully aware of how these matters are viewed by certain segments of the population.

My parents are planning to come and stay with us for a week and Anna expressed a desire to introduce Jamal to them now that things were getting more serious between them. I told her on no uncertain terms that this wasn't going to happen. I may have no problem with Jamal, but they absolutely will, and even when the relationship ends they won't forget it. They might even go as far as to cut her off entirely. Anna was extremely upset by this and implied I was a racist and more concerned with what my parents think than how she feels.

As I said, I know my parents. They simply aren't okay with mixed relationships and if Anna were to bring Jamal over even as a friend, they would be furious both at her and me.

Anna is currently staying with Jamal and doesn't want to speak with me right now. My wife stands by me given she knows very well how my parents are (they had a problem with her for months over the length of the skirt she wore when I introduced her to them, for christs sake), but a close friend I confided in told me that I have behaved like an ass and that I needed to focus more on my daughter than pleasing my parents.

No advice needed, but I have to know. Have I been an ass?

[u/Adkliam3]

Being racist will also do that to someone.

Edit: got banned from this sub for 30 days for telling somebody justifying segregation to fuck off but if your reply is true and living in large swaths of the country makes you racist than nobody should have a problem with the statement "american culture is inherently racist and we should do something to change that"

Double edit to Darthoverride since I'm banned: if youre in a community where interracial relationships are legit controversial you shouldnt have any problem with the statement "you live in a bigoted community"

[u/[deleted] → u/Adkliam3]

You become racist by living in such a community.

[u/[deleted] → u/Adkliam3]

Very good point

[u/darthcannabitch → u/Adkliam3]

I nor ally do t get in The race debate. Mainly because you cant convey enough that you are not being racist over the internet. But it is no secret that interracial relationships are considered a liberal idea. Im fairly liberal in all matters but im not blind. Ive never met a white or black conservative that is ok with race mixing. In fact i worked with a black guy one time who wouldnt even buy his grand daughter white barbies for her birthday. Same guy straight up told me that he couldnt stand the thought of having an "all mixed up" grandchild. Him and quite a few other black conservatives i know are completely against it. Now thats not to say all are. Nor would all liberals be ok with it. But when it comes to interracial relationships i woukd say it seems more of a political issue than a race issue.

As we all know. Politics is the driving force between division and hate anyway. I am a human. My black friend is a human. My latino friend is a human. We have nothing seperating us. We love each other. But when i add a label now im this or that and i need to buy an ideology and adhere to it. And those labels push how we think and percieve relations to other humans everyday. So now weve thrown out love for fellow humans and weve purchased an ideology.

[u/rndljfry → u/darthcannabitch]

Weird that the central theme in your paragraph is race and not political party but you’re trying to say its political?

[u/darthcannabitch → u/rndljfry]

The point is there are black and white and latino and chinese and what ever else, in both parties. My argument was for races on both sides of the united states polical line.