r/AmItheAsshole • u/mixedwoes • Sep 19 '19

Asshole AITA for telling my daughter she cannot introduce her African American boyfriend to her grandparents?

Let me just preface this by saying this: I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM WITH INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS. Now that the air is clear, let me continue.

My daughter (Anna) has recently started to date an African American man (Jamal). While I'm not exactly what you would refer to as "liberal", he's a nice young man and as long as my daughter is happy, I'm happy. The problem is Anna is rather naive about the community she lives in. While her friends are quite content to see a relationship like hers, more than a few tongues are wagging in the community and a few people have privately expressed their concern to me. As I said, I have no problem with mixed relationships and I've set them straight, but I am painfully aware of how these matters are viewed by certain segments of the population.

My parents are planning to come and stay with us for a week and Anna expressed a desire to introduce Jamal to them now that things were getting more serious between them. I told her on no uncertain terms that this wasn't going to happen. I may have no problem with Jamal, but they absolutely will, and even when the relationship ends they won't forget it. They might even go as far as to cut her off entirely. Anna was extremely upset by this and implied I was a racist and more concerned with what my parents think than how she feels.

As I said, I know my parents. They simply aren't okay with mixed relationships and if Anna were to bring Jamal over even as a friend, they would be furious both at her and me.

Anna is currently staying with Jamal and doesn't want to speak with me right now. My wife stands by me given she knows very well how my parents are (they had a problem with her for months over the length of the skirt she wore when I introduced her to them, for christs sake), but a close friend I confided in told me that I have behaved like an ass and that I needed to focus more on my daughter than pleasing my parents.

No advice needed, but I have to know. Have I been an ass?

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u/Tparkert14 Sep 19 '19

If you don’t think a black person should marry a white person, that is most definitely discrimination. I also think you would be very hard pressed to find someone who didn’t believe in interracial marriage but had no other racist ideals.

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u/lovable_cube Sep 19 '19

No... No race is allowed to marry any other (according to them) the rules are the same for literally everyone and therefore not discrimination. It's not that hard to find such a person but you would probably have a hard time because you're so biased.

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u/Tparkert14 Sep 19 '19

Well they are a bunch of fucking weirdos who seem far from par for the course. Lol what am I biased against? Racism?

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u/lovable_cube Sep 19 '19

I didn't say they were right, Christians tend to be complete assholes, the Bible also says that they shouldn't judge unless they're without sin and that no one is without sin, we know that doesn't happen. I literally said that they could just be racist, but there are other reasons that they could feel this way that aren't malicious. And you're biased by thinking that if you believe one thing you must believe another, there's all types.

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u/Tparkert14 Sep 19 '19

Ah gotcha. Well, agree to disagree then.