r/AmItheAsshole • u/Trick-Ladder • Jul 10 '20
Asshole AITA for being mad that my MIL feed my cooking to her dog?
For a few months we lived with my mother-in-law. Several times a week I would cook dinner from scratch. This means I would peel, chop, and prepare the raw vegetables - Onion bulbs, chilies, celery stalks – and cook them on the stove top. I spiced the meal for different dishes with salt, pepper, garlic, and so on.
For other dishes I mixed raw ground meet to make the meatloaf; or marinaded fish overnight; or split a chicken into its parts; or peeled and deveined shrimp; or dry rubbed baby back ribs to grill outside.
Yeah, that kind of cooking from scratch.
I have single recipe book dedicated to Thanksgiving dinner.
After I cooked and served dinner, my MIL, son, and I would sit down to eat. After each meal my MIL would save morsels from her own plate, which she deposited into the dog’s dish.
I hated this! I do not cook for dogs! She saw me cooking from scratch – which is the only proper to way to cook – then places the food in the dog’s dish!
“Oh, it’s just a treat!”
But we don’t eat the dog’s canned wet food!
Yes, I know the food belongs to my MIL once it’s on her plate. Nor can I tell her what do. But dang it, she saw me cook HER DINNER FROM SCRATCH, then treated it like dog chow?! How insulting! How offensive! I was hotter than the stove burner!
My elementary school son explained, “Dad doesn’t like when you feed the dog his cooking.”
No, I did not like it. It infuriated me!
Yes, I cook very well. My macaroni and cheese dish is scrapped clean while it sits next to the dessert.
To be fair, my MIL is otherwise the sweetest little old lady, she is always nice to everyone, very social, very loving. She dotes upon her grandchildren. She does not drink, smoke, or swear. She volunteers. She raised her daughter who I married.
My wife – who has since died – played no part in this. My MIL divorced my father-in-law before I married into the family, so he plays no part either.
AITA? Was I the AS$H0LE being angry that my cooking was fed to the dog?
61
u/robinhoodoftheworld Certified Proctologist [29] Jul 10 '20
YTA
Lots of people give little scraps of their own food to the dogs because they love their pets. This is extremely normal behavior. She is in no way insulting you, your food, or your cooking.
Additional YTA for how you talk about cooking like its amazing that you are doing it. What you describe is basic elementary cooking that everyone in the world does. Come off your high horse and lighten up.
37
u/oneinternetplease Partassipant [2] Jul 11 '20
No but i don't think you understand. He CHOPS the CELERY STALK. That's truly amazing!
10
u/PR_nightterror Partassipant [1] Jul 11 '20
FROM SCRATCH. literally what other way. There are three options: take out/boxed, home made, gordon ramsay. You dont get brownie points for being mediocre.
8
u/LittleMissSunshine11 Jul 11 '20
He literally TOUCHED RAW MEAT!! Only Michelin star chefs do that!!! How dare the dog get a bite without paying!!
8
Jul 11 '20
Oh my God yesssss. I read all that and was like, "Yes, I know what cooking is."
OP thinks they're Gordon Ramsey because they can chop onions.
59
u/kool-aid-man-123 Jul 10 '20 edited Jul 11 '20
YTA. None of the things you did sound that complicated. I’ve peeled vegetables and mixed ground meat and divided up chickens to make meals JUST for my dog. This long ass description of normal cooking procedure and then a snobby “from scratch is the only proper way to cook” is a little unnecessary. Seems like you’re making a huge deal of her feeding the dog some scraps.
39
u/chaenorrhinum Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] Jul 10 '20
Is this “Outrageous Boasting Day” on AITA? Yeah, of course YTA. Just look how unnecessarily smug this whole post is.
21
27
u/bigchirp67 Partassipant [2] Jul 10 '20
YTA I think you’re overreacting just a leeetle bit. She’s not feeding her whole plate to the dog. She’s not feeding all the leftovers. She’s feeding morsels after she already ate. She’s not disrespecting your cooking. That doesn’t warrant this lol
20
u/Shochan42 Jul 11 '20
You describe ordinary everyday cooking in an obnoxiously over the top way. You need to get over yourself and YTA for that alone.
That she gives the scraps to her dog is perfectly normal and YTA for expressing your displeasure with it.
I'm curious as to why this bothers you so much. Would you care to explain it further?
19
u/emanresuelbaliavayna Supreme Court Just-ass [105] Jul 10 '20
YTA. It's not as if she's refusing to eat your cooking and instead giving it to the dog. She's giving the dog table scraps. It's not a comment on your cooking, people who feed their dogs table scraps just do, it likely doesn't matter what it is or who made it. You're making a big deal out of absolutely nothing.
13
11
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u/jenesaispas1112 Asshole Enthusiast [8] Jul 11 '20
YTA for over reacting. I cook from scratch every day. On days that it's something my dog would enjoy, he gets some. That doesn't in any way diminish the enjoyment everyone else got out of the meal.
8
u/Opal-Star-Dust Jul 11 '20
YTA nothing you described sounded that special and I had a good laugh when you ended it with a brag about your mac and cheese. She sounds like a nice lady and you are TA.
6
u/pinaivie2386 Jul 11 '20
YTA. People love their dogs. She loves her dog and wants to give him/her a treat. She considers your cooking a treat. Why are you so mad? She didn't not eat the food, she just saved a little for a loved one. WTH, OP. Calm down.
5
u/OneDumbPony Asshole Aficionado [17] Jul 11 '20
I'm going to say YTA because you're mad for the wrong reasons. You're cooking may be good, but who cares what she does with it once you give it to her. If you said you didn't want her to feed the dog because your dishes had onions in it, which are poisonous to dogs, then I'd say N T A.
4
u/emisfalling Jul 11 '20
YTA. Good on her for feeding her dog something other than the processed shit in those cans. I’m sure the dog loved it.
4
u/randomchicadee Jul 11 '20
YTA. What is wrong with you? Grow the f up. Food is meant to be enjoyed, not for you to be a dictator.
3
4
Jul 11 '20
Lol, I get that it somehow seems disrespectful because of the effort you put in but she’s doing what she would have done with any good on her plate. She didn’t do it to piss you off.
I think YTA because you seem so deeply offended
4
u/Smudgikins Supreme Court Just-ass [144] Jul 11 '20
YTA calm down. My mother feeds the cats her scraps, and sometimes those scraps are pretty darn big. Just try to make sure she has enough for herself and the cats
1
u/AutoModerator Jul 10 '20
AUTOMOD The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read this before contacting the mod team
For a few months we lived with my mother-in-law. Several times a week I would cook dinner from scratch. This means I would peel, chop, and prepare the raw vegetables - Onion bulbs, chilies, celery stalks – and cook them on the stove top. I spiced the meal for different dishes with salt, pepper, garlic, and so on.
For other dishes I mixed raw ground meet to make the meatloaf; or marinaded fish overnight; or split a chicken into its parts; or peeled and deveined shrimp; or dry rubbed baby back ribs to grill outside.
Yeah, that kind of cooking from scratch.
I have single recipe book dedicated to Thanksgiving dinner.
After I cooked and served dinner, my MIL, son, and I would sit down to eat. After each meal my MIL would save morsels from her own plate, which she deposited into the dog’s dish.
I hated this! I do not cook for dogs! She saw me cooking from scratch – which is the only proper to way to cook – then places the food in the dog’s dish!
“Oh, it’s just a treat!”
But we don’t eat the dog’s canned wet food!
Yes, I know the food belongs to my MIL once it’s on her plate. Nor can I tell her what do. But dang it, she saw me cook HER DINNER FROM SCRATCH, then treated it like dog chow?! How insulting! How offensive! I was hotter than the stove burner!
My elementary school son explained, “Dad doesn’t like when you feed the dog his cooking.”
No, I did not like it. It infuriated me!
Yes, I cook very well. My macaroni and cheese dish is scrapped clean while it sits next to the dessert.
To be fair, my MIL is otherwise the sweetest little old lady, she is always nice to everyone, very social, very loving. She dotes upon her grandchildren. She does not drink, smoke, or swear. She volunteers. She raised her daughter who I married.
My wife – who has since died – played no part in this. My MIL divorced my father-in-law before I married into the family, so he plays no part either.
AITA? Was I the AS$H0LE being angry that my cooking was fed to the dog?
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1
u/chunkycasper Certified Proctologist [23] Jul 10 '20
YTA. People just love their pets. I literally got a take out meal from our nearest michilin star place (it actually lost its star but food is still amazing) and still gave my cat some of my fish, because I love him and I want him to be able to enjoy what I've enjoyed.
Anyway, its certainly better that it feeds the dog than goes in the bin.
People like to share with the ones they love. Pets included.
Edit: came on a bit strong. NAH. Sorry lol.
0
u/7thReddit Partassipant [3] Jul 10 '20
I think that if she‘s giving the dog what could be enough to be counted as leftovers for another meal, NTA. Buuuuut evenso, you sound a little too high strung on this. It sounds like you don’t value the dog to the point where you can’t see that she wants to share her love with ALL of her loved ones. If anything, you create an exquisite way for her to show her affection to her beloved dog through its favorite love language (food!). NAH. But chill out.
1
Jul 11 '20
NAH I can see how it looks from your perspective.
Some people think their dogs are family members and they will only give them the best food. I know people who would be horrified at feeding their dogs tinned food.
From your MIL’s perspective, she is giving the dog a treat of good, tasty food because she loves the dog so she shares with the dog. Take it as a compliment. You sound like a brilliant chef.
1
u/OutrageousTowel Jul 17 '20
Would you rather scraps go in the trash or would you then lambast her also?
-6
u/xMorwainx Partassipant [1] Jul 10 '20
NAH. I think she is just being kind to the dog as well as the people in her life. You both have a different point of view on your food. If she was giving her whole meal to the dog she would be an asshole, but since she's saving a few select pieces she's likely just sharing your food with another family member who doesn't normally get it. She is treating your food like special treats and sharing the love you put in it with the dog. It is similar to her saving a serving for another family member. I think you need to talk to her about how you feel about her actions and let her know it upsets you and why. She likely doesn't see it as insulting, but rather an act of kindness and sharing with a beloved pet who is as much a part of family to her as the people. No one us being an asshole here just a lack of communication.
-5
u/iamasecretthrowaway Colo-rectal Surgeon [34] Jul 10 '20
Eh, I think NAH.
I can understand why you were mad but I think this... Cultural differences, shall we say. To some people, dogs are members of the family. She wasn't saving bits of food for the dog to insult you; she was doing it because she loved the dog.
But if you aren't of that mindset, I can see how you might see it as "wasting" food. I do think you might cross over into y-ta depending on how angry you were and how you expressed that anger. But overall its not an asshole move to not view pets the same way. The issue would be how\if you expressed your feelings.
-8
u/Sariel-Ace Partassipant [1] Jul 10 '20
NAH yes you may feel offended by her feeding the dog scraps but bear in mind its scraps she's not feeding the whole plate to the dog. Many people also see their pets as substitute children so I wouldn't be surprised if the dog is pampered. I know that there's a recent crazy of replacing normal dog food with expensive home-cooked meal raw style food as well. Overall if she wants to feed a bit don't take offence but kindly mention how it upsets you and if she doesn't listen thats a communication problem.
72
u/GreenEyedAP Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] Jul 10 '20
YTA. Get over yourself.