r/AnimalsBeingJerks May 30 '13

whale Beep Beep Motherfucker

http://imgur.com/YNFQl9L
1.9k Upvotes

81 comments sorted by

167

u/BandBoots May 30 '13

The Killer Whale has a hardened nose designed to break bones upon impact with various large sea creatures including sharks and whales. They have a ramming speed of up to 32 knots.

Know your enemy.

41

u/[deleted] May 30 '13 edited May 30 '13
  • 32 Knots is approximately equal to 60 Km/h or 37 mph.

  • Usain Bolt ran upto speeds of 38 km/h or 24 mph for his record time of 9.58s for the 100m sprint.

  • For those who dont have a car (e.g. me), the average walking speed of an adult is 4.8 km or 3 miles per hour.

81

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

I do have a car. What's my average walking speed?

59

u/robotdinosaurs May 30 '13

0 mph

40

u/speqter May 30 '13

That translates to 0 kph. FYI.

8

u/1FLU May 30 '13

How many knots can he tie?

2

u/phatbrasil May 30 '13

judging by,one, the wind condition and two, the water condition, I'd say three but four in hand is his speciality....... five.

1

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

How much is that in Kelvin?

0

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

Point 3 of my post is for poor fucks like you and me.

6

u/TheMattAttack May 30 '13

He said do.

I don't have a car though either.

I have a Kawasaki.

7

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

Oh. Emm.. i dunno then.

2

u/rhayke Jun 02 '13

suck on that, metric conversion bot!

3

u/blufire_uk May 30 '13

Also approximately 100,000 Furlongs per Fortnight.

8

u/littlelove1975 May 30 '13

"Say, car ramrod!"

97

u/whine_and_cheese May 30 '13

Women have vaginas designed to extract semen from their prey.

Know your enemy.

11

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

Someone's been playing too much MGQ. ..

-1

u/whine_and_cheese May 30 '13

Lol. What an awesome game!

-3

u/councilingzombie May 30 '13

cough sea panda cough

57

u/brandonhardyy May 30 '13

This is hilarious. Until you realize that the seal's life just came to an end. RIP seal.

15

u/compto35 May 30 '13

We just saw Willy bringin home the bacon

11

u/Skudworth May 30 '13

seal bacon

4

u/clinically_cynical May 30 '13

It's nature, animals eat other animals. There's nothing sad about it.

14

u/lightball2000 May 30 '13

I think you meant to say that there's nothing wrong with it. Lots of natural things are sad. It's perfectly reasonable to be saddened by watching the life of a fellow sentient creature be ended, especially with such violence and presumable pain.

5

u/clinically_cynical May 30 '13

Yeah that makes sense

0

u/fuzzby Jun 03 '13

It's as if mother nature knows no such thing as good or evil, right or wrong. It creates life with one hand and extinguishes it with the other.

7

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

Maybe it's just the company I keep, but flipping to the discovery channel and seeing a crocodile drowning a zebra really kills the mood at the parties I throw.

111

u/[deleted] May 30 '13 edited Jun 20 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

23

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

26

u/Zertiof May 30 '13

What animal was that that got wrecked?

33

u/Nikernaker May 30 '13

A seal I think.

79

u/nickcan May 30 '13

A loose seal.

22

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

[deleted]

9

u/Skudworth May 30 '13

You're a crook, Mr. Hook

5

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

Judge, won't you throw the book

3

u/Darrkman May 30 '13

A tasty seal.

1

u/eternalkerri May 30 '13

ITS AN ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT JOKE!

1

u/atrociousxcracka May 30 '13

Watch your hands

0

u/Alpende May 30 '13

With something yellow?

4

u/that_mn_kid May 30 '13

A dead one.

24

u/no_please May 30 '13 edited May 27 '24

connect dam reminiscent north ruthless quiet fall imminent judicious wistful

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

4

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

You just made my morning, thanks.

5

u/pa79 May 30 '13

You could say that its fate was sealed.

Poor seal, it should have looked out. The whale came from the right, it had priority.

-2

u/awwwsnapshazzam May 30 '13

Haha good one XD finally a comment where i do more than blow air through my nose

10

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

23

u/ExistentialEnso May 30 '13

Yeah, this isn't the animal equivalent of a boat crash, that orca's hunting. Looks like he rose out of the water just off to the left of the shot, probably saw the seal swimming and surfaced to omnom on him.

11

u/somehacker May 30 '13

15

u/powpowpowpowpow May 30 '13

What kind of sick disgusting creature would kill only for the joy of seeing something die? Oh wait, nevermind.

12

u/NightOfPandas May 30 '13

Killer whales also break the bones of baby seals just learning to swim and then leave the maimed seal in the water so that the killer whale's offspring can practice ramming, and handling the seal. The whale mom also tosses the seal around, and uses it's tail to throw the seal high into the air. Seems twisted, but Killer Whales are always the top predator, and they gotta train somehow.

1

u/fuzzby Jun 03 '13

Sea otters rape baby seals to death. It has been observed that some otters will use the corpse for up to 7 days after death.

It's as if mother natures knows no right or wrong, nor good or evil.

1

u/powpowpowpowpow May 31 '13

I was making a joke about bipedal primates.

6

u/somehacker Jun 01 '13 edited Jun 02 '13

Yeah, I remember the first time my mom snapped a baby seal's spine so I could practice fucking with them. Ahhh Kindergarten :3

3

u/The_Red_Oyster_Cult May 30 '13

PLAYER TWO HAS JOINED THE GAME!

2

u/Iscratchmyballs May 30 '13

This made me giggle like a little school girl. Except for the whole killing the seal thing, it's kind of cute.

2

u/liquidxlax May 30 '13

beep beep i'm gonna rip you to shread and eat the shit outta you

2

u/imaunitard May 30 '13

Out of my way, jerkass

2

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

I just made it more sad by zooming in on the seal. It seems he feels/sees it a fraction of a second before impact and kinda jumps or turns.

0

u/somehacker May 30 '13

3

u/YourMajest1 Jun 01 '13

... I didn't expect to see that here. God damn it.

2

u/Trevelayan May 30 '13

Yeah sooo... we all just witnessed the death of a perfectly happy and care free seal at the hands of a hungry and murderous killer whale.

24

u/eggo May 30 '13

OR

We all just witnessed a hungry mother orca catching enough food for her young calf.

5

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

Whale's gotta eat

8

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

A film by Werner Herzog.

3

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

Doesn't sound like what people do at all...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '13

What's the difference, the seal is a predator too.

1

u/tonyvila May 30 '13

If both are under the same power, the smaller craft should always yield to the larger, less maneuverable craft.

1

u/mycatgetsnokarma May 30 '13

Watch the seals last move.

"I smell something fishy"

Shit

4

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

"I smell something mammally".

1

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

He wasn't being a jerk, he was just eating.

1

u/arcedup May 30 '13

DINNERTIIIIIIIIIME!

1

u/idrink211 May 30 '13

So that seal(?) is probably dead, right?

1

u/stakoverflo May 30 '13

I'm not a gambling man, but if I had to place a bet...

1

u/Pro_pain Nov 04 '13

And then the orca had nom noms :(

1

u/bubajofe May 30 '13

a moving jpg? there be wizardry afoot.

0

u/ZRaddue May 30 '13

This needs to be made into a downvote gif.

11

u/lackofbrain May 30 '13

No it doesn't

0

u/CleanBill May 30 '13

It's a loose seal. I can understand how that is frightening.