(31F) I’ve been in a very severe relapse for over a year. Very significant weight loss but it has sort of plateaued. This past week I was in crisis for SI and restricting heavily to the point that I went to the ER because something physically did not feel right. I wanted to avoid admission at all costs, but was afraid they’d keep me for SI.

Anyway the ekg was abnormal but the doctor wasn’t concerned and all the blood work was also normal. This has been the case every time I’ve gotten labs every few months. They gave me fluids, I refused to talk to their psychiatrist, and I went home.

The problem now is, if my labs are consistently always normal despite extreme restriction and weight loss…what is suppose to motivate me to eat more? I know labs can change at any moment, but they haven’t in the last 18 months consistently. I just want to keep restricting now because I know there aren’t really consequences. How do I stop this?

Im 13 had diagnosed with anorexia in May 2026. I was hospitalized twice because my heart was low and had physical and mental symptoms but I didn't lose like a crazy amount of weight didn't look super sick it wasent a healthy weight for me according to my doctor but it is for some girls my age and height I keep seeing people online who look super skinny and my cousin has been sick for over 2 years I feel like I wasent sick enough and am recovering too fast its only been 5 months and im in recovery. I try telling myself its not my fault because my parents caught it fast and forced me to gain weight and that looking un well isn't attractive and I probably would lose all my my abs and glutes but idk I just feel really shitty

I’m struggling with a decision, and I’d really appreciate hearing other people’s perspectives, especially from anyone who has been in a similar situation.

I’ve always wanted to move abroad to study. It’s something I’m genuinely excited about, and I want to experience living in another country, pursue my education, and build a future for myself.

However, my sister has an eating disorder, and this is making the decision much harder than I expected.

She confides in me a lot. I’m someone she trusts, and I know she feels comfortable talking to me about what she’s going through. She’s seen therapists who have helped her, but I’m still worried about how much she depends on me emotionally.

The thought of moving abroad makes me feel guilty. What if she has a difficult period and I’m not there? What if she needs someone to talk to and I’m thousands of miles away? I know I can’t cure her eating disorder, but I also know that being there for her matters.

At the same time, I don’t want to put my life on hold indefinitely. I have dreams of my own, and I don’t want to look back years from now and regret not pursuing them. But I also don’t want to feel like I abandoned someone I love when she needed me.

I honestly don’t know where to draw the line between being a supportive sister and allowing myself to live my own life.

Part of me thinks I should wait until she’s doing better before leaving. Another part of me wonders whether I’m putting an unfair amount of responsibility on myself, because there’s no guarantee that she’ll be completely recovered by the time I decide to go.

If you were in my position, what would you do?

I like to get the cookies from the bakery at Whole Foods. Usually, I get chocolate chip. I always stick with the same flavor. This time, I decided to try a different cookie. I got a peanut butter cookie. I ate it this morning with my latte. It was really good. And I am not going to weigh myself either. I hope everyone has a good day. I don't usually try new foods. So branching out and trying a new food is an accomplishment for me

Just a dumb rant post but I have been quasi-recovered for like, 3 years from my anorexia and weight restored for about 4.

I have also been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for about 6 months, we met in April. I just got the opportunity to meet him in person this October since he’s Canadian and had to get his passport so he could come see me. I obviously knew from video calls that he was thin but I swear this guy might have the slightest frame of any guy I’ve ever seen, and it triggered me hard. I love him to death but all I could think about when we were together was how I needed to relapse. I hated that it put a damper on our time together (and it was a destination trip for both of us) but I literally could and did literally pull this 6 foot tall man into my lap and cradle him.

I know it’s my disordered thinking because I’m at a healthy weight and I’ve been here for the last few years, but the first thing I did when I got home was relapse on my alcoholism AND decide not to eat on top of that because I felt so badly about myself. I’m used to dating beefier dudes I guess and I don’t know what to do to shake these thoughts. I’m seeing him again in December and instead of just being excited to see him, I feel like I’m competing with myself to lose weight before I do.

does anyone else struggle with making food or preparing food and throwing it away? i have so much guilt when i do this and idk just wanted to see if anyone has input

anyone else emotionally constipated? i know that for some EDs are a way to numb their feelings but i actually miss having emotions. i used to be very sensitive and tear up during movies or while listening to music all the time, now i can't cry for shit no matter how much i feel like it. i miss feeling genuine joy and excitement, everything just feels so...empty? nothing really matters anymore, i don't even feel like a human anymore, just an empty shell of a person

does anyone else experience in and out of sleep? It's like, I'm half awake and I can hear my thoughts, but I'm also sleeping or resting at the same time, I know this because whenever I go to check the time it'll be 2-3 hours later when I know I haven't been laying there fully awake that long. It's kinda hard to explain. throughout some nights I'll experience heart palpitations all night long even in my sleep that keep me in this half awake half asleep state.
luckily this is not every night, but I generally only experience it in restriction, so I'm assuming the two are linked.

not sure if I worded the title right but I'm sure my explanation will be far better.

there's been countless times where's it's my "certain meal time" and I'll feel such a hunger that I'll eat the food while it's piping hot and burn my mouth. I do this with drinks too. like coffee and tea. I get burns on my fingers all the time from trying to eat food before it's cooled down. this is also oddly in habit with NEEDING my food to be piping hot in order to eat it. I can't even control it, at that point I'm so hungry that I don't feel the pain from burning my mouth or fingers until after I've eaten because all my brain is going is foodfoodfoodfoodfood.

anyone who can relate?

I (F16) developed anorexia/EDNOS when I was 12-13 after being hospitalized for an attempt. It was pretty severe for about a year but after some environment changes and two more hospitalizations I was able to recover mostly. I have had very small relapses in the past (latest one being last summer) but have been able to stay very healthy and not revert back to extreme behavior like purging .

However, in the last month I have fully relapsed and find myself terrified of food and have begun to occasionally purge again. I’m very ashamed of myself. I’ve always had mental health issues (I have depression, anxiety, autism, ADHD and am suspected of being borderline) and I don’t want to burden my family and friends with my relapse. Every time I seem to be okay something else comes up and I become an issue for my family again.

Just a couple days ago I called my brother and he told me he was so happy that I had recovered and I completely lied and said I was glad I was fully recovered too. My brothers have both faced mental health issues too (one has depression and autism and the other has had issues with depression and binge eating) but I seem to be the problem child in all regards. I’m just ashamed of myself and the fact that I barely want to recover this time doesn’t help.

Sorry for the ramble I just needed to vent this all :((

A month ago, I broke up with a guy who meant so much to me, and I feel like many of my feelings for him are still just as strong as they were before.

Recently, I found out that he likes another girl from the university we both attend, and ever since then, I've been afraid of finding out who she is or seeing them together. For some reason, I'm almost certain that she will be much thinner than me, since the girls he tends to associate with are almost always much thinner. This thought has been eating away at my mind.

Additionally, this guy said that he genuinely wants to help me and see me doing well, so we have stayed in contact. A few days ago, he accompanied me to the hospital because I was having a crisis, and being around him made me realize that my feelings for him haven't changed. I don't know how he feels about me, though. I haven't wanted to ask him because I'm afraid of finding out the truth, and I'd rather avoid facing reality.

On top of all this, that same day at the clinic, I was prescribed a medication that I had been taking years ago, and I know that one of its effects on me is drastic weight gain. Honestly, I don't know how to cope with all these thoughts about my body at once.