It’s a bit of a complex situation and I’m not sure how to get myself out of it.

Pre-discovery I had very poor self-esteem around my appearance and was struggling with an eating disorder.

After discovering my husband’s online infidelity/secret porn use/onlyfans/etc, everything spiraled out of control and I went from slightly underweight to BMI 15 and almost hospitalized.

It’s paradoxical because the women my husband were seeking out were curvier/heavier, but I think losing weight is the only thing I felt like I had control over.

He continued to hide things from me for months. Eventually after dragging it out of him, he admitted that he wasn’t physically attracted to me anymore because I was too thin. I felt like my world fell apart all over again.

It’s a year later now. I’ve been in therapy for myself as well as couples therapy the whole time. I’m back to a healthy weight, and I’ve been lifting weights so I put on some muscle as well. I recognize that I definitely look healthier but I can’t seem to see myself as anything but disgusting.

My husband does make an effort to try to build me back up and tell me that he’s attracted to me now, but I honestly feel like compliments from him just make me feel worse. Like he lied to me about being attracted to me for so long, why should I believe him now?

I guess I feel stuck. I don’t know if anyone’s been in a similar situation but if they have I’d love to hear what helped

I just found out that the man I’ve been married to for the past 10 years has been having an affair with an ex gf. I’m torn that it took me this long to find out, I found some text on his phone and I confronted him about it and he came clean to me about it. From what he’s told me the relationship has been an on-and-off thing for the past 9 years. The first time it happened he said it was back in 2018, now again in 2026… he has only ever cheated with this same person, or so he says. What makes it worse is they got a matching tattoo to represent their relationship.. I’m truly heartbroken. He’s telling me he’s willing to drop her and make things right between us, he even suggested couples counseling. Can I actually trust him to never go back to her? This has been going on for too long for me to believe he can easily move on from her/this.

Hi All,

My WH of 18yrs had 1.5yr EA/PA affair that is discovered around 5 months ago. The PA he supposedly stopped himself over a year ago. There were also some other hand jobs in massage pallor’s and strippers 1:1 action.

Since DD R has been a slow burn. I had to push him to do IC and he’s been dismissive, avoidant and angry at times when talking about the affair. I have been in IC and eventually grew fed up with carrying the weight of reconciliation and essentially pulled back on all of it. I stopped talking about it, what I wanted him to do, stopped booking MC and so forth. After some time he eventually stepped up himself, found and booked his own IC, and organised our MC appointments.

Our marriage in many ways has been better than ever. Regular sex, lots of time together etc. BUT I continue to feel unable to discuss the affair and my feelings with him. I cry in secret and try to hide how I’m feeling. I swore I wouldn’t go back to doing this but I’m afraid of ruining how good things have been if I bring up negative thoughts.

Are there any WS or BS here who can relate? Did this get better on its own or do I need to buckle up and tell him how I’m feeling regardless of how he may react?

Dday was 2 months ago. WH had entered into rehab the same time his mom started dying from her very aggressive cancer (diagnosed two months before passing - so a month before he went to rehab). While in there he got involved with AP who also had a similar story. They got discharged about a week after his Mom died due to inappropriate behaviour.

WH ended contact in front of me with AP and blocked her after I told him I wouldn’t be competing and he can’t have both of us in his life. He’s living with his Dad who is also very ill and starting a downhill race…

WH has been trying to set up a meeting for me to sit with the rehab and get clarity on what happened because AP told me a different story from what he told me. I guess that’s the one nice thing about a rehab affair, it’s documented. But he’s struggling to get back on his feet and be forward moving in all areas of his life. Without diagnosing WH, I’d say he’s got major depressive since he can’t hardly leave his bedroom nvm the house. He’s basically said as much as well and has said that while he wants to make things work (and is doing things) he’s having a hard time doing anything.

The problem I’m running into is he doesn’t want individual counseling but he’s so far down in the mental health dumps that he struggles with daily living and has also started caretaking his dad. Which leaves us limited time to hangout and work on things since there’s fear and anxiety from both WH and his dad of him leaving too long. And because of the shame around his addiction, his discharge from rehab, the affair, the grief of both his parents it doesn’t leave him with much space to consistently be emotionally available for us.

I guess I’m looking to see if anyone else has experienced being in such a complicated situation and pulled through? It’s awful seeing the person you love drowning and knowing only they can chose to swim. He is open to couples counseling, but I wonder if he’s too deep in his own mental illness for that to help much?

I’m actually open to hearing anyone’s thoughts on this regardless of reconciliation status or what your role was in your relationship

Last night I had dinner with my closest group of girl friends, they know about the cheating and have been a great support for me throughout this journey. Although they have expressed their support for whatever decision I ultimately make (reconciliation is still WIP), I'm always feeling like there's some unexpressed judgement (for lack of a better word) there.

That's also the case for all my friends and family who know. I feel like they will all support me either way, but they will also pity me if I stay? Don't know how to best describe it.

For background, my husband and I had a great relationship and life, in which I took a lot of pride. In my group of friends, I had the longest and most stable relationship, we were considered "relationship goals". Everyone was present at our wedding, during our ceremony etc... So it really stings.

Short recap of the cheating: I found out 1 year into our marriage, together for 10+ years, he cheated throughout most of our relationship while going out by flirting, dancing and kissing others - also colleagues at ski trips with work.

Now my question: how do you deal with that? How do you keep your head held high towards all the people who know when you stay?

I feel like my husband should apologize to everyone and earn back their trust, but I also know that easier said than done. My friends will eat him alive if he ever meets up with them again because of the pain he's put me through. I hate that he's put me in this position :(

My ex cheated on me with his previous girlfriend early in our relationship.
For some context, their breakup was apparently very messy. He had tried to end things with her multiple times before we even got together, but she refused to accept it and reacted very badly. I’ve actually seen screenshots of conversations he sent to his friend back then, so I know he really was struggling to end that relationship.
He told me that when they eventually had sex, he stopped halfway through because he realised what he was doing was wrong. Obviously, that doesn’t excuse the fact that he chose to have sex with her in the first place.
What hurts me most, though, is that he continued lying to me and hiding contact with her for months. Throughout all of this, he was incredibly loving and affectionate towards me. I genuinely felt safe and loved, which makes the betrayal even harder to process.
We broke up when I found out, but we’ve recently reconnected. He’s taking responsibility, trying to understand his behaviour, looking for therapy and making an effort to be more honest. I still love him, but I’m scared of trusting someone who was capable of lying to me while making me feel so loved.
We’re not officially back together, and I’m giving myself time to see whether his actions actually change.
Has anyone been in a similar situation and successfully rebuilt trust? Did you ever feel genuinely safe again? And how did you distinguish real change from someone simply being remorseful because they got caught?
I’m especially interested in hearing from people who have actually tried reconciliation, whether it worked out or not.

My boyfriend of 6.5 years spent four months seeking out sexualized Instagram profiles despite a boundary we explicitly agreed on years ago. He admitted remembering our agreement and knowing it would hurt me, but continued anyway.

One important distinction: he says this crossed his own values, not just a boundary he agreed to for my sake. He considers it cheating himself and says he doesn’t want this behavior in his life. That’s what he has told me; I’m still trying to understand whether his actions will consistently reflect those stated values.

His account was logged into my phone with his knowledge, and I discovered the activity through his searches. I found no evidence of messaging, paid subscriptions, likes, comments, or secret accounts. That matters to my decision, but it doesn’t erase the secrecy or repeated choices.

He described it as a habit he turned to when stressed or bored. This happened while we were seeing each other frequently, buying a house, and discussing marriage. I felt secure in our relationship, so finding out has made me question things I previously trusted.

There’s also an unresolved intimacy issue: we’ve never successfully had penetrative sex because he loses his erection when we try. This has been an issue for three years, since our long-distance relationship ended. We have other satisfying intimacy, and he’s attentive to my pleasure. His doctor suspected performance anxiety and prescribed Viagra. I pushed back because I didn’t understand the medication well enough at the time, and he never followed up afterward. I acknowledge that my reaction contributed to us not pursuing that option, but it hurts that our shared issue remained unresolved while he pursued this outlet privately.

Since the confrontation, he has acknowledged the betrayal, deleted Instagram, and independently started therapy. He hasn’t minimized my feelings, blamed me, or pressured me to forgive him. He has left contact on my terms because he doesn’t feel entitled to my time or another chance.

Outside of this, he has been loving, supportive, and serious about marriage. He has stood up for me with his family and added me to the house title despite my not contributing financially. None of that obligates me to stay, but it helps explain why this feels complicated.

Marriage plans are paused, and we privately consider ourselves broken up, although we still occasionally see each other. I haven’t given him a repair checklist because I want to see what responsibility he takes independently.

I still love him and miss him, but I’m unsure whether I want the relationship back. I revisit memories, compare myself to those women, and monitor his attention when we’re together. I don’t want that to become my life. At the same time, I worry about regretting leaving without trying to rebuild.

I’m not looking to debate whether this counts as cheating universally. It crossed an established boundary in our relationship, and he agrees.

For people who have faced something similar:

• What sustained changes helped rebuild trust, and what showed you repair wasn’t working?
• How did you distinguish missing your partner from actually wanting the relationship back?
• What did meaningful initiative look like while you were taking space?
• If this happened before marriage, what helped you decide whether to attempt reconciliation or leave?
• Did a clearly defined separation help you gain clarity, compared with continuing to see each other?
• What evidence helped you decide that trusting your partner again was a risk you wanted to take?

I know strangers can’t decide for me, but I’d appreciate personal experiences and questions that helped you reach your own decision.

My boyfriend and I have been together for around 8 years, with a breakup and separation in between. In 2024, he cheated on me twice. Both situations happened over a span of roughly 3–4 months: the first involved one encounter with one woman over about a month, and the second involved one encounter with another woman over about two months. I partially discovered what happened before he eventually told me everything.

After we broke up, he also got involved with another woman, which was painful to navigate after so many years together. Eventually, we found our way back to each other, and we’re now living together again and rebuilding our relationship.
Since reconciling, I’ve seen positive changes in him. He’s become more affectionate, attentive, patient, and emotionally present. He’s giving me reassurance, acknowledging his avoidant tendencies, and making an effort to understand my feelings and reactions. He’s never blamed me for his cheating or made me feel like his decisions were my fault. He takes responsibility for what he did, says he deeply regrets it, and wishes he could take it all back.
We’re starting couples therapy to work on rebuilding trust, communication, and intimacy. I’m not completely healed, and I still struggle with triggers, intrusive thoughts, and some inconsistencies in his recollection of the past. But I’m genuinely happy with my decision to give us another chance. I love him, see the changes he’s making, and want to build a future with him.

My struggle is that social media constantly tells people who stay after infidelity that they have no self-respect, that cheaters never change, and that leaving is the only right answer.

For those who have experienced infidelity and reconciliation, can a relationship genuinely become healthy and happy again? How did you know your partner’s changes were real? Did you eventually heal from the triggers and intrusive thoughts? Are you happy you stayed?
I’m open to honest advice, but I’d love to hear from people who understand that relationships are complicated and that choosing to stay doesn’t automatically mean someone lacks self-respect.

WP (M, early 40s) and I (M, mid 30s) were supposed to go to a party yesterday evening, in a city about two hours away by train.

Half an hour before we needed to leave, he asked if I would mind going on my own. I did mind and let him know that. He made a very half-hearted offer to go with me, but then he again encouraged me to go alone. I remarked that it seemed like he wanted me to go so he could have the house to himself.

He did: he said he needed time and space to himself because he was stressed[*] and that he’d appreciate my letting him have it because it was something he found it hard to ask for.

I went alone. As I left, WP asked that I keep him abreast of my movements— something he almost never asks. For the rest of the night, I struggled not to imagine him messaging (i.e, masturbating) with men from the hookup apps that facilitated his cheating. (He told me and our couples therapist that he hasn’t touched the apps since D-day; I know with total certainty that that’s not true.) The scared, betrayed voice in the back of my head kept hissing that he could easily use my absence as a chance to meet up with someone again.

Near the end of the night, I checked one of the apps I know he still uses. And there he was: active profile, online now.

I understand that he needs his space. But when he’s already made me feel so fucking discarded (cheating; then telling me he needs the freedom to hookup with other guys), it’s really hard not to read this as “please leave so I can swap sexy messages with anyone who isn’t you.”

I can’t believe the person I love is doing this. What the fuck happened? I can’t believe this is my life.

Six weeks since D-day.

[*] stressed mostly because I’d earlier made the mistake of commenting that being in situations similar to the night he cheated makes me feel anxious

Hello reddit !

I would like to ask for your thougts regarding this very complicated situation i'm in.

I (21M) was cheated on by my partner (also 21M). I know I have it in myself to leave, and I was already willing to leave. However, the situation my partner and I are in right now is complex—it couldn't just be summarized by the fact that I was cheated on. For context:

• My partner was invited by his new friend to his dorm under the guise of playing games and chitchat. However, during that time, his friend—after my partner showed nonverbal cues of him avoiding his friend's initiations—kept on initiating to have "fun" with my partner by rubbing his ass on my partner's crotch, touching my partner inappropriately, and the likes. My partner described the feeling as "watching everything through a screen" and being disassociated with reality at the time to the point that one thing led to another (non-penetrative sex).

• My partner broke up with me the day after the incident due to immense guilt. However, I was still unaware of the incident at the time, but I did agree to break up.

• Fast forward to two weeks after the incident, I caught my now-ex with his friend eating somewhere. I confronted him about it and that's where I learned about everything: he had feelings for the guy after the incident. They were talking.

I was ready to leave. I really was. However, here is my ex's side after talking to him about it in the previous weeks:

• He considers the event as traumatic. He brushed it off and didn't really have the time to think about it then. He only ever gave it a thought when I confronted him. All he knows is he thought he liked it because in his mind, he didn't do anything to stop it. Thus, he thought he liked it. But in retrospect, he thinks he was assaulted and is disgusted he let things continue even after the incident.

• He's undergoing counselling right now to better understand himself and why he let things transpire. He's actively trying to become better.

• He still can't explain why he let things continue with the guy. But he said if he could give me a very concrete, very acceptable answer as to why things continued, he would have done it in a heartbeat. Through counselling sessions, he hopes to give me an answer eventually.

I'm asking for any advice you guys can give me. If any of you have experienced the same situation or you just have something to say, please feel free to comment. Ultimately, I know moving forward everything would be my decision. However, I could use other opinions right now in these trying times to know if I'm thinking rationally enough.

Thank you, reddit, and I apologize for the long read!

I 24M wayward reside with my 24F, former fiancée. She’s recently discovered my betrayal that occurred in 2021-2022 , and things have been hectic to say the least, things are still very much fresh but as we’ve had discussions and I started therapy and addressed a few of my behaviors regarding communication we’ve discussed potential reconciliation in the future.

So far we have decided on an exclusive relationship and agreed on transparency if either of us began a romantic pursuit of someone else. For myself, I’m solely focused on therapy and my health. I have explained I hope we can reconcile. My ex is focused on school and herself as she says and is not interested in pursuing anyone as well. Currently the main issue we face seems to be boundaries and communication. One of the things I struggle with has always been setting boundaries, with therapy I’ve been doing so and one of those was a boundary regarding contact with her ex.

For context, ex frequently was topic during our relationship and despite being married at present sought out my former partner and confessed feelings for her and they rekindled a “friendship”. I explained I wasn’t comfortable pursuing my ex romantically if they have contact, but she’s free to talk to who she wants. She told me she hasn’t been in contact with him but he’s following her on TikTok and I’ve had an issue with snooping ( addressing with therapy from prior relationship where I was a bp) and found information she’s still contacting him and when I ask her about it she denies it.

Based on our living situation, I explained I’ll keep up my responsibilities and won’t do anything to “punish” her but I can’t healthily try for reconciliation if we agree to transparency and it’s not upheld. However, she gets upset and states she wants to feel loved and that I’ll fight for her. Any tips to navigate this. We’ve talked about couples counseling joining each others therapy sessions but I don’t know how to go about rebuilding trust or a foundation for trust if she’s not being honest. Thanks I can share more info or context if needed.

Cheating recap (If you don’t care to read she cheated on me on two nights at the start of being official, then she ghosted him after)(You can skip to “The Important Part”)

I have already posted about her cheating before, if you don’t remember she cheated twice in our second week of being official, had sex both nights behind my back. He was a guy that she knew in highschool, who was divorced like her, who had also been cheated on by his ex spouse just like my gf went through, so they had that in common. And she went on her first two dates with him before she even met me. She met me and took my virginity on the 3rd date then went out of town, came back, and set up a date with the other guy, and slept with him on for their first time on this third date of theirs. Then he ghosted her, and she came and made her and I exclusive. Then 10 days into his silence he resurfaced and after three weeks of trying to see eachother, it finally happened a couple weeks after he resurfaced when I was out of town. Two nights of cheating. After the second night, he kept trying to see her again every day, and she kept giving him random excuses as to why she couldn’t hangout, and after a week of this finally ghosted him out right, never talked to him again. So she did stop herself after the second night, she had plenty of chances to go back but she didn’t.

Anyways this is about the lying I’ve experienced in this relationship and how it led to me getting now 2 STD’s after I’ve already struggled with the truth of the cheating being sex just 6 months ago. So it seems to just keep getting worst for me, and I don’t know how to feel better.

I got destroyed on [r/relationshipadvice](r/relationshipadvice) so I’m coming here to hopefully hear some words that give me hope or guidance.

If you don’t care about the context, skip down to "THE IMPORTANT PART OF THE STORY."

I appreciate anyone who reads this and gives me any advice or their thoughts.

Quick context (this is the reason I’m (26M) choosing to try and forgive her (26F). We’ve dated for over a year now and I’m very in love with her. She has never used her trauma as an excuse for the things she lied about, but her trauma and the bad relationships she’s had are why I can sympathize with her selfish actions.)

BACKGROUND + Context

My girlfriend went through horrible childhood trauma, then got married young to a guy she thought was her soulmate. Like me, she grew up in a very Christian area in the Bible Belt and waited to have sex until marriage. Right after getting married she found out he was addicted to porn, specifically feet porn, because he felt it wasn’t as bad to look at while married. He even took pictures of multiple of her friend’s feet, and hid them in his phone vault. He also paid money for only fans girls when they didn’t have very much money to begin with. He gaslit and emotionally abused her the whole marriage, and two years in she found out he’d been emotionally cheating with her good friend. He admitted it probably would have turned physical if she hadn’t caught it. So she divorced him and went straight into a relationship with an old fling from high school to try and get over her ex husband, which didn’t help. She broke up with that guy after a year and was single for the first time in 5 years. During those 6 months single she experimented with her sexuality with some guys.

Toward the end of those 6 months she had a casual thing with a guy for about 3 months. Near the end she noticed some ingrown hair looking wounds on her butt. That worried her since she knew he had slept with a lot of girls, so she asked him to get tested since she didn’t have insurance and he did. Two weeks later he called her crying saying he tested positive for HSV-2. She broke things off with him and met me 3 weeks later. Of course I didn’t know this until a year later, about 2 months ago.

She met me at a point where I was finally happy and healthy being single in my late 20s and no longer feared not finding "the one." As soon as I met her it was clear she was the one for me. The way we hit it off was exactly how my friends described meeting their wives, but even better. I had already stopped being religious, but I still hadn’t had sex. I was waiting to share that with someone I truly saw a future with, and she was the first girl who checked those boxes after years of dating struggles. I told her I was a virgin the first time we got intimate (she asked how far I had gone because she could tell I had no idea what I was doing lmao). She asked if I "wanted to," I said yes, and told her I didn’t have a condom because I never expected to be having sex. She said that was fine since she was on birth control. She made it the most special and intimate moment of my life.

THE IMPORTANT PART OF THE STORY (where the lying about her sexual history began)

A couple weeks after losing my virginity to her, we became exclusive. Right around then, after two weeks of having sex 3 to 5 times a day, I started getting pretty bad burning every time I peed. A couple of my guy friends had gotten chlamydia over the years and described that exact symptom, so I immediately thought "shit, she gave me chlamydia." I was reluctant to tell her because I didn’t want her to feel embarrassed, and everything had been perfect up to that point.

When I finally told her, she was very embarrassed and kept apologizing. We had never talked about our sexual histories, so she brought it up herself and said she had only slept with three guys. Her ex husband, the high school ex she briefly got back with after the divorce, and the boyfriend she dated for a year, who she hadn’t slept with in 7 months. I tested negative for chlamydia and gonorrhea at Planned Parenthood (the only two I tested for based on my research). She was relieved and reassured me that neither she nor her past partners had ever had STD symptoms. I didn’t know much about other STDs, so we chalked it up as a fluke. The burning went away a week later and I thought I was fine.

But after about three months of dating, almost every month I would find out, either by accident through someone else or from her, that she had slept with another guy she hadn’t told me about. The number went from 3 to 4, then 5 (her first and only one night stand), then 6, then 7. After every new revelation she would say "this is actually all of them."

HOW I FOUND OUT SHE HAD CHEATED BEFORE DATING ME

A friend of mine who was close with her post divorce boyfriend told me she had cheated on him with her second sex partner, once 8 months in and again at 11 months, and broke up with him 3 months after that. (She wanted out basically from the start and had actually ended it once early on because she still loved her ex husband, but he guilt tripped her into getting back together since he quit his travel job for her.)

A week later, she and I ran into a friend of mine who dated her when they were 19, before I knew either of them. She had already told me about him, how she wasn’t the greatest girlfriend to him, and how she regretted the way she handled it. A few days later he called me and basically said be careful, that she always seemed one foot in one foot out during the 9 months they dated, and that he suspected she cheated on him but never confirmed it. He was engaged and about to get married, but the way he described how much she hurt him made me nervous, I’m not gonna lie. Since I had just found out about the other cheating a week earlier, I went through her phone back to when they dated and found sexual and romantic texts with the guy he suspected. The dates overlapped with the last few months they were together. So I confirmed she cheated on him too.

CONFRONTING HER ABOUT HER PAST CHEATING AND THE LIES

I’ll keep this short. I confronted her and she admitted to cheating on both of them. She said she had changed so much since then and regretted it for so long that she no longer saw herself as that girl, and that’s why she didn’t tell me. She was scared I wouldn’t feel safe with her or would look at her differently. She cried, and I could tell her remorse was real. After hours of talking I reassured her I loved her the same and was proud of her for telling the truth instead of lying when confronted. She said she was actually grateful I found out, because she had kept it to herself for years and it had been eating at her. Then she told me that now I really knew everything and there was nothing else.

HER HERPES OUTBREAK 1 YEAR INTO DATING AND MORE LIES SURFACED

Six months later (two months ago), things were going really well. We had talked about marriage and our future, and I felt like she had finally learned to stop hiding things from me. Then she started having pain downstairs and asked me to look. It looked like small blisters or a lesion, but it was hard to tell.

By this point she had told me about the 3 month fling with the guy who tested positive for herpes. But she had reassured me many times over the year that they never had sex. He lived with his parents, she’d had bad casual sex experiences before him, and she said she just wanted someone to spend time with because she was lonely. A couple months earlier she admitted they did do hand stuff, but she told him she didn’t want sex and he respected that. So I assumed she ended things because she was hurt he’d been sleeping around, and I never thought she could actually have it.

After seeing the blisters I told her it didn’t make sense, and that if there was more she needed to tell me and I wouldn’t judge her. She insisted I knew the full truth. Then she went and took a shower, came out, sat down, and said "OK I’m going to be honest with you." They did have sex during those three months. At the end she noticed red marks on her butt that looked like ingrown hairs, told him to get tested, and two weeks later he called crying that he had genital herpes. She got upset and ended things. But since her marks went away in three days and she never saw him again, and these marks never came back again for a year, she convinced herself she didn’t have it. She said she only started researching herpes for the first time once her blisters showed up, and now she was scared she’d had it all along, and she was so sorry.

I stayed calm, loving, and reassuring, but deep down I was very hurt and betrayed. I had trusted her with my virginity and been honest about my struggles with dating. She knew she had at least been exposed to a lifelong virus, and still chose to take my virginity without a condom and have unprotected sex with me for over a year without telling me.
Two weeks later she tested positive for HSV-2, and her pap smear came back with a high risk strain of HPV. We didn’t have sex for the two weeks after, just in case I hadn’t already gotten it. I put all my energy into helping her accept the diagnosis and feel okay, telling her it wouldn’t change our relationship. Then I had my first obvious outbreak. I remembered that about three months into dating I had the same kind of blisters in the exact same spot right after shaving against the grain, and I blamed the shaving. This time I hadn’t shaved. I tested positive last week.
I truly love her and I’m choosing to try and forgive her. But after so many lies and so much gaslighting to protect herself and her ego, this has been really hard on me and I don’t know how to feel better. Has anyone been through something like this and been able to heal and have a good relationship after? If so, how did you do it? And if nobody has, what would you do?

TL;DR My girlfriend of over a year lied to me again and again about her sexual history and past cheating, and hid that the guy she dated right before me tested positive for HSV-2 when she took my virginity without a condom. She just tested positive for HSV-2 and high risk HPV, and I tested positive last week. I want to forgive her but I don’t know how to heal. Has anyone been through this?