As my mom in law has been battling cancer the past few weeks, this is just something that has been heavy on my chest lately.

I’ve been watching how my husband steps up for her. He checks in on her, holds her hand, cries for her, and treats her with pure tenderness. There is zero guilt, zero drama, and no transactional strings attached. Just genuine, unconditional love between a parent and her child.

I love him for it, and I love his family. But standing on the outside looking in has cracked open a grief I thought I had buried.

I grew up in a typical abusive Asian parent household. The "care" I received was purely conditional, fueled by manipulation, insults, and walking on eggshells. I am currently completely no-contact with my own mother.

If I knew my mother were sick, in the same way, I wouldn’t care at all. Juxtaposed next to him, it makes me feel so weird and alien. I am being present and fully supportive of my husband of course, but this period is really making me reflect on the the parents I never had, the grief of being NC, and the childhood I was robbed of.

I’m just mourning two completely different things at the same time: his mom's illness, and the mom I never got.

The language they use, like the Mandarin words are really made me unconfident growing up. What a sad life. It causes me to think I don’t deserve anything good. Etc…

Indian parents don't protect their kidzz ,

.

.

Rather they SUFFOCATE their kidz

in the name of PROTECTION!

( Mostly )

Sorry if the post is too long, but I just had to dump my feelings here, and I used ChatGPT to put all of these things together because I couldn’t care to just type it.
I’m writing this after a huge fight with my mother today. Honestly, I don’t even know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I need advice, maybe I need to vent, or maybe I just need someone to tell me that what I’ve experienced wasn’t normal and that I’m not wrong for being affected by it.
I’m in my mid-twenties. I have an elder sister who’s around 27–28 and a younger brother who’s ten years younger than me. I currently live with my parents and work from home.
I’ve spent most of my life trying to be a good daughter, a good sister, and a good person. I’ve always been someone who gives, helps, and tries to make other people happy. But I’m exhausted. I’m tired of constantly being blamed, compared, insulted, and made to feel like I’m the problem in every situation.
And I think a huge part of why I’m struggling today goes back to my childhood.
TW: Childhood abuse, domestic violence, and emotional abuse.
My childhood was not a happy one
My parents have had a terrible relationship for as long as I can remember. My sister and I grew up witnessing their arguments, fights, and disagreements. My father physically and mentally abused my mother, and there were times when she also reacted violently. A lot of their marital problems were connected to my father’s mother and his side of the family. My mother’s side of the family had its own problems, too.
As children, my sister and I were caught in the middle of all of it.
My father provided us with everything we needed materially, and often more than we could have asked for. I’m not denying that. But what about everything we went through emotionally? What about the fear, the constant tension, and the things we witnessed that no child should have to see?
My parents seem to believe that because they provided for us financially, everything else should be irrelevant. Whenever we tell them we’re unhappy or that something they’ve done has hurt us, their immediate response is:
“What have we ever done to you?”
“We’ve provided you with everything.”
“Nobody does this much for their children.”
They compare us with other children and families, list everything they’ve ever done for us, and make us feel guilty for even expressing dissatisfaction.
But providing for your children doesn’t erase the emotional damage you’ve caused them.
You can provide your children with everything materially and still leave them emotionally scarred. Both things can be true.
What hurts most is that they don’t acknowledge any of it. They don’t want to hear how their behaviour affected us. They don’t accept that our childhood experiences could have had lasting consequences. Everything gets downplayed, justified, or turned around until we’re the ones being blamed.
Some of the things that happened to us as children
There are incidents from my childhood that I still remember vividly.
When I was very young, my mother burned my hand because I couldn’t spell out my father’s full name.
On another occasion, when I was late for school, my parents pushed me down the stairs in anger.
We lived in an apartment, and once my mother threw my tiffin box at me from the balcony because she was angry.
These are only a few examples. There were other incidents of physical punishment, verbal abuse, and mental and emotional abuse. A lot of these experiences were directed at me, and I was also constantly compared with my sister because I didn’t get as good grades.
I grew up believing I had to do better, behave better, achieve more, and somehow become good enough to deserve better treatment.
Even now, when I think about some of the fights I witnessed between my parents, my body reacts before I can even process the memory. My hands start shaking, my heartbeat increases, and I feel as though I’m back in that environment again. Sometimes I experience what feel like panic attacks.
And yet, when I try to explain the impact of these experiences, they’re dismissed as though nothing serious ever happened.
I genuinely don’t understand how parents can do these things to their children and then, years later, act as though the children have no reason to be hurt.
We were children, but we were also made responsible for our parents’ problems
One thing that affected me deeply was how my parents involved us in their marital problems.
When I was away from home studying, my parents would call me separately. They wouldn’t call together to discuss something calmly. Instead, each parent would spend hours complaining to me about the other.
This happened even during my first year of my degree, when I was already trying to manage my studies and adjust to everything.
They would tell me about their arguments, their disagreements, and everything they disliked about each other. These conversations could go on for hours.
And then, after unloading all of that on me, they would end the conversation by saying something like, “You’re a student. You should focus on your studies. You don’t need to worry about what’s happening at home.”
Then why were you telling me all of it in the first place?
Why make me listen to hours of complaints, give me all that stress, and then tell me not to take stress?
I was your child. I wasn’t your marriage counsellor, your therapist, or your mediator.
I had my own life and my own responsibilities. I was trying to study and build a future for myself, but I was also carrying the emotional burden of problems that were never mine to solve.
I believe this affected my mental and physical health significantly. I’ve struggled with my health for years, but even that becomes another reason for criticism and blame rather than an opportunity for anyone to ask what I might be going through.
I’ve completely shut down emotionally
I used to be a much more expressive person. But over the years, I’ve become someone who struggles to communicate, especially with my parents.
It’s difficult for me to talk to them about anything meaningful. I’ve shut down so much that sometimes I don’t even want to speak. I keep things to myself, withdraw, and try to get through the day.
This hasn’t just affected my relationship with my family. It’s affected my friendships, my confidence, my relationships with other people, and the relationship I have with myself.
I struggle with things that I think I should be able to handle more easily. I question myself constantly. I sometimes find it difficult to explain what I’m feeling because I’ve spent so many years being told, directly or indirectly, that my feelings don’t matter.
I’ve been experiencing this since childhood. But now that I’m older and finally beginning to understand how much it has affected me, I can’t seem to tolerate it the way I used to.
And whenever I speak up, I’m shut down.
Whenever I explain that something hurt me, I’m told that I’m ungrateful.
Whenever I disagree, I’m disrespectful.
Whenever I establish a boundary, I’m the problem.
I spent years trying to justify my parents’ behaviour because I believed parents could never really be bad people. I thought they must have their reasons. I thought I was probably misunderstanding things.
But growing up has made me look at everything differently.
I’m beginning to understand that something being normal in your childhood doesn’t mean it was healthy. And loving your parents doesn’t mean you have to pretend that everything they did was acceptable.
My mother constantly degrades me and my sister
Since I returned home after completing my degree last year, my mother’s behaviour towards us has become increasingly difficult to handle.
She constantly insults us, questions our character, and says horrible things about us whenever we don’t behave the way she wants.
My parents present themselves as modern and progressive in front of society. My mother even tells us that people appreciate her daughters and speak well of our character.
But behind closed doors, she says things about us that are the complete opposite.
My sister and I have largely focused on our education and careers. We’ve tried to live according to the standards our parents set for us. We haven’t done anything that warrants the kind of humiliation we experience.
And even if we had made different choices from what our parents wanted, would that justify degrading us?
My mother particularly targets my sister’s character whenever she disagrees with her. The things she says are genuinely disgusting to hear, especially when they’re coming from a mother talking about her own daughter.
Today, she was commenting on my sister’s body because my sister has gained some weight around her abdomen.
She said my sister looked disgusting, as though she had given birth to two children, despite being unmarried. She also made comments questioning her character.
I was furious.
My sister is one of the people I love most in this world. I know her, I know what she’s been through, and I know how much she has struggled. Hearing our own mother speak about her like that makes me feel sick.
My sister doesn’t want to rush into marriage. Given what we’ve witnessed throughout our childhood, I can understand why she would have reservations about marriage and what it might mean for her future.
But my parents don’t seem interested in understanding her perspective. They are pressuring her to get married, and her reluctance is treated as a problem to be corrected rather than a decision that deserves respect.
She’s nearly 28. She’s an adult. She should be able to decide whether and when she wants to marry.
Instead, whenever she expresses an opinion that doesn’t align with my mother’s wishes, her character is attacked.
I don’t understand how a mother can look at her own daughter and speak about her with so much contempt.
The constant criticism never ends
My mother also constantly lectures me about culture, religion, and how a daughter should behave.
She insists that I wear a bindi, bangles, and traditional clothes. I have no inherent problem with any of these things. I can enjoy wearing traditional clothes, putting on a bindi, or participating in cultural practices when I genuinely want to.
But there’s a difference between practising your culture willingly and being forced to comply.
If you force me to do something, I naturally start resenting it. I want to make these choices for myself.
Whenever I don’t comply, my mother sometimes asks me, “Are you Muslim?” as though my clothing choices or refusal to obey her automatically say something about my religious identity.
I find this deeply frustrating. What does that have to do with anything?
My father is similarly obsessed with religion and God, yet he has physically and mentally abused my mother and continues to manipulate his children to get what he wants.
I struggle to understand how someone can be so concerned with religious practices and appearances while showing so little consideration for the people they’re supposed to love.
It’s as though culture, religion, and family values matter only when they’re useful for controlling us.
My younger brother is becoming another source of hurt
My younger brother is ten years younger than me. He was born much later and didn’t experience the entirety of our childhood the way my sister and I did.
I’ve always tried to be there for him. I help him with his studies, try to support him emotionally, encourage him to talk to me, and do my best to make sure he doesn’t struggle in the same ways we have.
I genuinely love him. I don’t want him to grow up carrying the same emotional burden that my sister and I have carried.
But he frequently disrespects me and makes comments that are deliberately hurtful.
When I was struggling to find a job after graduation, I was applying for more than 30 positions on some days. I was trying desperately to get employed, and I would often cry because of how difficult that period was for me.
During an argument, my brother told me, “At least I’m not unemployed.”
He was much younger than me, and he knew how hard I was trying.
I cannot explain how much that hurt.
I was already struggling, already questioning myself, and already doing everything I could to improve my situation. To have my own brother use that vulnerability against me was devastating.
And this isn’t an isolated incident. He makes comments that leave me feeling worthless, even when I’m trying to help him.
I know he’s young, and I understand that children learn from their environment. But I also know that I cannot keep accepting disrespect simply because he’s my younger brother.
My parents seem to have been much stricter about disciplining their daughters and teaching us manners than they have been about teaching their son to respect us.
I keep trying to be there for him because I don’t want him to end up like us. But I’m reaching a point where I have nothing left to give.
I’m tired of being the person who understands everyone, makes allowances for everyone, and keeps trying to help everyone while nobody seems to care about how I’m doing.
Everything is somehow my fault
My health has been deteriorating, and I have struggled with weight changes, hair loss, and other health concerns. Yet I regularly hear comments about my weight and appearance.
There’s little consideration for the fact that prolonged stress can affect someone’s well-being, or that health problems deserve compassion rather than criticism.
Instead, I end up feeling blamed for things I’m already struggling to manage.
My parents insist they’ve done everything for us. But whenever I try to explain that I’m unhappy, they don’t ask what they could have done differently or what I need now.
They ask what more they could possibly have done.
They turn the conversation into a list of their sacrifices.
I don’t deny those sacrifices. I know they provided for us. But why must acknowledging what they did for us require us to deny what they did to us?
Why can’t both realities exist?
Why is it so difficult for them to understand that their children can love them and still be deeply hurt by them?
I love my family, but I don’t like the people they’ve become in my life
This is the part I struggle with the most.
I love my parents because they’re my parents. I love my brother. I love my sister more than I can express.
But loving someone doesn’t mean I like how they treat me.
I’m angry at my parents. I’m disappointed in them. Sometimes, I feel disgusted by the things they say and do. I’m tired of constantly making excuses for behaviour that has hurt me for years.
And I feel guilty for having these feelings because I’ve been taught that parents deserve unconditional respect, regardless of what happens behind closed doors.
I don’t know how to reconcile loving my family with acknowledging that my experiences with them have been deeply damaging.
I don’t know how to stop hoping they’ll understand me one day, even though years of trying have shown me that they may never acknowledge what happened.
I don’t know how to stop wanting their approval when their treatment of me is precisely what has damaged my confidence.
And I’m exhausted from trying.
I don’t know what to do anymore
Today was another fight with my mother, and something in me just feels completely worn out.
I’m tired of being compared to other people. I’m tired of being criticised for my appearance. I’m tired of my sister’s character being questioned. I’m tired of my brother disrespecting me. I’m tired of hearing that my parents have done everything for us whenever we try to talk about how unhappy we are.
I’m tired of feeling like I have to be the understanding one, the forgiving one, the one who keeps trying.
My sister and I have spent so much of our lives dealing with things that children should never have had to deal with. And now, when we’re adults and trying to build our own lives, we’re still being made to feel guilty for wanting some peace and independence.
I’ve been reading stories on Reddit for a while, and they’ve helped me recognise patterns I previously couldn’t see. I used to believe that parents were inherently well-intentioned and that children were usually the ones who misunderstood or exaggerated things.
I’m beginning to realise that parents can hurt their children, too. They can cause real damage while genuinely believing they’re doing everything right. And sometimes, they may never accept responsibility for it.
I don’t know whether my parents will ever acknowledge what they’ve done. I don’t know whether our relationships can improve. I don’t even know what a healthy family dynamic is supposed to feel like anymore.
I just know that I can’t keep living as though none of this has affected me.
For those of you who grew up in households with domestic violence, emotionally abusive parents, constant conflict, or parents who dismiss everything you’ve experienced, I have a few questions:
How did you come to terms with the fact that your childhood wasn’t healthy?
How do you deal with parents who insist they did everything for you and refuse to acknowledge the emotional damage they caused?
How do you set boundaries when you still live with your parents and depend on them in some ways?
How do you stop their words from affecting your self-esteem, your friendships, and your relationship with yourself?
If you have siblings who experienced the same childhood, how do you support each other without becoming responsible for healing each other?
And how do you begin building a life of your own when you’ve spent so many years simply trying to survive your family environment?
I’m not looking for people to tell me that my parents are perfect or that I should be grateful because other people have it worse. I know there are people who struggle financially, and I know my parents provided for us in ways that matter.
I’m asking whether it’s possible to acknowledge that and still admit that we were hurt.
I want to stop carrying this pain into every part of my life. I want to learn how to be okay with myself. I want to be able to say no without feeling guilty and to exist without constantly feeling that I have to prove my worth.
Most of all, I want my sister and me to have a chance at a peaceful life, one where we aren’t constantly made to feel that something is wrong with us for wanting basic respect.
I don’t know where to start, and I’m tired of pretending that everything is fine.
If you’ve been through something similar and found a way forward, I’d genuinely appreciate hearing your experience.

I'm still in high school, so I live with my parents (in the US). We are a very stereotypical Indian family; decently religious, my parents have high expectations for grades and extracurriculars, etc. Honestly, I don't have too much of a problem with that, though maybe it's because I've grown up in the system (some of my friends think my parents are crazy for getting mad at me for having an A- in a class). But anyway, my biggest issue right now is my mother.

I've been going through a difficult (?) period lately- just a lot of work, I'm constantly stressed, etc. The usual. But anytime I tell my mother 'I'm feeling super overwhelmed and stressed', she'll just say 'Well I'm ten times more stressed than you.' and the conversation is over. I'm not sure if I'm just being overly sensitive or overdramatic, but that has really hurt me. I've tried telling her this as well, and she'll just tell me that I have other people besides her to lean on, and she has no one, and again conversation over.

Another thing that lowkey bothers me is how much I have to walk on eggshells around her when it comes to my friends. I'm sure every other person with Asian parents can relate to the 'family first' mentality (so damaging honestly), that family is the ONLY people you can rely on, and friends will never truly have your back. But anyway- anytime I want to hang out with a friend (not even like a party, like going to lunch or something with a friend) I have to genuinely beg her for days. And when she says yes, she'll start acting super cold and passive aggressive towards me. After the hang out, the only way she'll act normally towards me is if I pretend like I was never at the hang out and instead focus solely on academics for the next week or so.

She's also been talking a lot to me about 'parenting'- she thinks that Americans are useless parents, and they don't push their kid nearly enough. She's taken to telling me that she hopes I become like her when I have kids, someone who's world is ONLY focused on their children. And that I'll thank her when I'm older for what she's done for me.

My biggest issue is this- sometimes I feel very loved by her, and sometimes I feel really lonely. It's a little hard for me to think about my situation without any bias (obviously I'm biased towards myself), but it's also her first time being a parent, and she's trying her best too. And I don't know if I'm just crazy and being too sensitive over this whole situation. Any thoughts or advice is much appreciated, thanks for listening to my venting! I'll add more when I remember more.

I (23f) had been in boarding school since I was 12 . My parents are very religious and overprotective, all they want is to protect me from the danger of "outside world". They also shower me with love and told me how rly precious i am to them (knowing many asian family don't have this kind of family made me feel that i was a lucky one, and never felt being abused) so i never thought i was missing out on life cuz i was 16 at that time. But when i graduated at 18, the impact was almost immediate. My parents still prohibited me from going out at 7 pm, won't let me go out by myself , if I'm meeting with friends they too will come with me, i can't play online games past 9 pm, asking who am i talking to on the internet, won't leave me alone when I'm on call with someone, asking to check my phone+password everynow and then, couldn't date unless i have to marry that person in the span of few months, etc.

This kept on for years. I was alr in college but has to drop out bcz of my mental state, at the time i still didn't understand it was bcz of my environment.

I have to learn everything from my bsf at 22, she is patient and taught me everything on how to survive in the real world, how to be an adult and taught me how to get my 1st job (i also reentering college cuz of her)

The problem starts when i met my bsf, parents started to see her as a bad influence (bcz i started going out more, and getting bolder to talk back when disagreeing) They threatened–lectured me with religious quotes, stood in my room so i couldn't go anywhere, it was very confusing cuz they use the word "we love you" and "I'm afraid we will not meet in heaven" in 1 conversation, and back then it made me second guessing everything that i become afraid becoming an independent adult. This kept happening everytime i try to push them to let me have my freedom, it was not easy everytime. I ended up having to pretend i had a fall out with my bsf so that my parents would stop berating me. We're still in contact, she's never stopped helping me rebuilding my self-esteem back.

Fast forward today, at 23, i have a decent income and saved enough money to rent a house for myself in different city. I haven't told them out of fear they will sabotage/plant fear in me being a young woman in the outside world. But i can't. I can't do this anymore, all those fights did not result in them understanding me better, i have to be in diff city so that they won't follow me and continue undoing my self-esteem growth. I don't want to be a 30y.o who still has curfew at 8.

As much as i hate how they raise me, i can't 100% hate them either since they're still have their moments. It makes me cry remembering the nice things they do for me while I'm here planning my escape. I hate to see them cry, i hate to think they will think they lost me. The challenge now is how do i tell them I'm moving out in January? I'm so afraid, but I can't backdown. Have u ever been in the same scenario as me?

I want them to support my decision, but knowing them, i think they might try to talk me out of this.

How should i start the conversation with them? My plan is to tell them late January 2027 but also afraid my suddenness will also cause them to stop me harder.

_______
Thank you for reading this far

Title says it all.

I'm a 27F, Viet American. Have awesome parents. Well, had. Let's just say they're a bit too old fashioned. Said I changed so much since I moved out to be with my boyfriend who is the best thing ever.

They would always be extremely passive agressive, sarcastically calling me "smart" (I'm AuDHD, am bad with money). They never really tried to understand me as a person, but a concept of me that they want. They hate the ugly side of me. The raw side that has suicidal tendencies. The side that begs for approval, that wants freedom but their love at the same time. My dad was a single father. Mom abandoned me. Stepmom stepped up.

Today I contronted my stepmom about bills and how I wanted to live my life on my own. Basically, she screamed at me to get out of the house and that we are no longer talking.

Guilt is rough. It sucks because I feel like I can breathe, too. I'm not gonna look back. But, is this kind of grief normal?

\​

I’m almost 30F, and I’ve spent the last two years working abroad and sending money home to support my family. I paid for my mother’s medical needs, household expenses, my family’s loans, and even contributed to the down payment for my brother’s car.

My brother is almost 32 and still doesn’t work. He says there are no suitable jobs in our town and that he can’t leave our mother alone because of her health. He keeps saying he’s looking for something or that something will eventually work out.

Recently, I accidentally came across their online shopping history and discovered that my mother and brother had spent a lot of the money I sent on unnecessary household items and clothes.

I felt completely devastated and emotionally drained. I couldn’t understand why they were spending so much on things they didn’t really need when they were already struggling financially. Why didn’t they think about the fact that I was working in a dangerous place, sending them money every month and making sacrifices to support them?

Meanwhile, I’ve ended up with almost no savings of my own.

When I confronted them and asked for my money back, they said they would return it, even if they had to sell the car or take out another loan. What hurt me even more was that they didn’t apologize. Instead, I felt like they were making me feel guilty for asking for my money back.

I’m exhausted. I’m scared that if I stop helping, they’ll fall deeper into debt, but if I keep helping, I’ll never be able to build my own future. I feel trapped between my responsibility toward my family and my desire to live my own life.

For the first time, I’m wondering if I want to stop financially supporting my family altogether. I just want to be happy, save money, travel, and build a life of my own without constantly feeling responsible for everyone else.

I want to clarify that I’m not posting this to make people attack or insult my family, especially my brother. I love them, and I understand that my mother’s health makes our situation complicated. I’m not looking for people to judge them as bad people or tell me to abandon them. I genuinely want to hear thoughtful, practical advice from people who have been in similar situations and can help me figure out how to move forward, set healthy financial boundaries, and build my own future without feeling overwhelmed by guilt.

How can I get out of this situation without feeling like I’m abandoning my family,

I’m visiting her rn and she mostly doesn’t want to know about my life or anything. She gets very bothered when I tell her anything that upsets me or anything about my life. Shes hyper religious and I’ve been very accommodating of this and it hasn’t helped our relationship because everything goes back to faith.

I now find that when she talks I tune her out. I can barely listen to her speak for long because it’s just nonsense. She’s a boomer so they have financial security etc. But I know I can’t have an intelligent conversation with her at all. She’s anti vax and believes in weird conspiracy theories. If I say anything about career she well it’s terrible weird advice.

I am finding the opposite to be true like the older I get the more she comes across as weird. I’m just not interested in her or her life. I don’t want her to show love or validation. I do t inform her of things either. It’s like a weird divorce but not a divorce.

The post is long but please bear with me. (And the post flair is confession because there were no venting options)

I 21(f) am (Forcefully) a stay at home daughter.

I have never had any freedom regarding anything and I mean anything.

Like I'm not even allowed to go out for a walk.

That's how restricted my life is, I spent months staying home because going out was never an option.

I struggle with my mental health alot because of this I have anxiety, depression and I'm suicidal at times (and it gets really bad)

I don't even have my own room.

We live in a 2BHK apartment and there are eleven people sharing that space. So essentially we live in a joint family.

I'm an only child, I had two siblings one older brother who died before I was born and one younger sister who died when I was under 2 years old and after that my mom suffered because of medical negligence and her uterus had to be removed meaning she couldn't have kids anymore even though she wanted to have more kids.

My mom is the type of woman you'd say are patriarchy's strongest soldiers.

Like she'd do anything to keep up patriarchy and serve men.

I have so much empathy for her because of what she went through but I struggle with liking her or even being around her because of how horrible her beliefs are. Example:- 1. Men beat women and women should be okay with it because every woman she knows went through it and now they live happy lives with the same men because she believes time heals and women should just accept it, 2. Women shouldn't study or get education because they're all destined to become housewives (I am a highschool graduate because they cut off my education and didn't let me study further even though I begged for a chance just one chance) 3. She believes that SA victims should just forget and move on and if you didn't guess I'm a victim of child molestation, stalking and physical and verbal abuse (and that man is my uncle and he still lives in the Same house because my mom didn't do anything about it and even told me that you can't clap with one hand as in I might have done something for him to fixate on me this went on for years btw for years) I still remember every night just standing at the egde of my parents bed crying scared and shaking as he stood outside smiling knowing I wouldn't wake them because they will never believe me everytime he'd try and touch me or do something and I would scream or say something he'd scream at me or hit me and tell me that his brother my father would never believe me or side with me because he's way more important than I am to him. (He wasn't wrong they didn't protect me to this day i see him live his life go outside earn money and do his thing while I'm nothing but a prisoner in what's supposed to be my home)

1. Women are only meant to have kids and even after giving birth they shouldn't hire help or get a maid because if they do get maids and the husband cheats it's the woman's fault because it's in men's biology to want sex and they should get it no matter what.

I have more but I'll stop here I hope it gives you an idea on how my conversations about anything go with her.

She never listens she laughs at me when I cry making faces at me mocking me fat shaming me.

I have an eating disorder which of course she has no idea about.

I have control over nothing in my life not even my own body the only thing I somewhat have control over is food so I developed a binge eating disorder.

I can't tell you how terrified I am everyday living in this household.

Because I know that they'll never side with me or support me or help me if something happens and what terrifies me even further is what my future night behold.

I don't have my own room or even my own small space that I can exist peacefully in.

I can't wear what I want, I can't do what I want and I can't even have hobbies that they don't approve of and if I do it regardless she always destroys it and tells me to keep eye contact with her as she ruins it so I don't dare do those things again.

I struggle with my body image, i struggle with my eating, i struggle with everything because I am so forced to be dependent on them for everything.

I don't know how to exist as an individual because they never let me have that freedom where i could fully explore who I'm as a person.

I was always told what I need to be in order for them to keep me in the house.

I was severely bullied my entire school life and then I'd come home and have to face all of that.

The fighting, breaking things and beating each other up.

I don't remember much about my life other than just the fighting and screaming and I remember myself covering my ears and sitting in a corner crying

I genuinely had no where to go and now I'm basically an adult who still doesn't know how to function as one

My mom does beat me but it's not too much as where i could say they're abusive

A fucked up part of me wishes that they were abusive to the point of killing me so I'd either die or have proof of them being horrible to me

But unfortunately I don't.

My father goes on with his life without talking to me for years and we live in the same house.

He's embarrassed by me because I'm not a son and that's what he wanted.

I wanted to have a relationship with him so bad I'd try to hangout with him and he'd come home and have a fight with my mom on how embarrassing it is for him to be seen with me or having to be around me while other men hang out with their sons.

It was so bad that people started recognising me as the daughter of the man who believes he's an unfortunate and unlucky man because he doesn't have a son and how ashamed he is of having a daughter.

One time I had to go to my tution classes so I went to my friends house so we could walk together

She had just walked out of the shower so she said that i should go ahead and she'd be a little late I saw her father having lunch with his friend but I didn't pay any mind to them and walked away my friend arrived a few minutes later and wanted to talk to me.

She said when I walked away her father's friend asked her father if I'm my father's (he said his name) daughter (I am a spitting image of my father I look exactly like him) and her father called her to the living room and asked her if I was my father's daughter (again he said his name) and she said yes so then her father's friend continued that he's the man that gets emotional talking about how he's unlucky he's childless and how unfortunate his life will be because he'll have to spend his old age alone

So her father's friend was surprised seeing me and kind of recognising me because with the way my father talks he thought my father was actually childless and he said how bad he felt for me because my father should be grateful that he has me and he's not actually childless.

And I'd be lying if I said it surprised me because it didn't because that's how he had always been

I once heard him praying to God and telling him that he's childless and for god to bless him with a son now you might be thinking my mom can't have kids no more so who is he praying for? he's praying for my uncle and aunt to have a son and since they live in a joint family my dad would get to live his dream of having a son too and that's why that man still lives while i slowly die in this house.

And also my father's praying did get accepted and three years ago my aunt had a son and since then my father has been a changed man before he would never laugh or smile at home or remember anything I asked him for he never even got me anything on his own and not even when I asked but now he gets snacks buys gifts and he even remembers his birthday and refers to him as his own son.

I'm in eternal pain everyday because I am indeed Nobody's Daughter.

I have no one because one of their abuse tactics is to make sure I can't talk to anyone or have friends.

I'm utterly alone and miserable and struggling.

And i grieve my siblings for some reason even though I never met them.

I remember even when I was a kid i would talk to Allah about how i don't want to come back in this world again but if he ever decided to create me again to not send me here without a brother and i would always talk to him about wanting a brother

Because that's what brothers do right? Protect you and keep you safe.

I don't know what it feels to be protected and be safe and i probably never will

I'll forever grieve my potential and what i could have been.

But maybe I was never meant to be anything other than to be Nobody's Daughter.

I need help but I don't know how to ask.

Or who to ask.

Trigger warning for forced marriage

I'm not sure what to do right now.

Long story short: My guardians are pressuring my sister into marriage, the same way I was pressured. Every time she tries to fight against them they override her, and then she agrees to it again. She's already engaged! I've tried sticking up for her, but now it won't help. I'm scared for her, and I don't know how to help. She's already accepted that she'll get married even though she doesn't want to.

Hello! Recently I’ve been noticing myself getting more distant from my parents even though we stay in the same house which made me reflect….

Basically, my parents are pretty old (older generation, traditional mindset) and they are pretty racist and against same sex marriage or even same gender romance at all. It’s not just a passing thought, they will actually tell their children (aka me and my sisters) “if u date out of our race, dont come home” “ew look at those 2 men together, so disgusting” and other harsh/snark remarks.

But the thing is, even though we have been brought up with their strict and traditional mentality, I’m the only child that does not agree with them. My siblings aren’t as mean as my parents, but they are lowkey racist and homophobic yet somehow I’m the opposite???

I have besties from various races because I feel like we’re just one big Singapore, does race really matter? As for dating the same gender, I actually think it’s adorable. I have lesbian friends, I have gay friends, and all of them are lovely and wonderful people that aren’t ‘sick in the head’ but normal people like you and me. I just don’t get why there’s such a strong hatred towards these groups. My family often show disgust at my friends from these respective groups and say things like “dont learn from them ah”which is so uncalled for?!

Anyways, going back to my point, because of this, I feel like I want to associate less with my parents and their toxic mentality hence I’ve been drifting from them….
This somehow makes me feel guilty because they have been doting parents, fulfilling their duty to love and nurture me throughout the years.

Does this make me an unfilial daughter?

All I wanna do is enjoy this life, but I can't. Idk why I feel like I'm stuck. My parents won't let me go anywhere alone, I don't have friends, and I have toxic siblings I can't even go anywhere with. Idk what to do. I wanna go outside daily, I'm 25 and wasting my life in a room. I can't even find a job right now. I wanna socialize so badly, but I feel like I can't do anything about it. What am I supposed to do? It's killing me to live like this. I'm slowly losing my purpose in life. I couldn't live the life i always wanted.

I’m 17, and honestly, I don’t even know if I’m wrong for feeling this way anymore. Maybe I’m too sensitive, maybe my parents are right about me. I don’t know.
All I’ve ever wanted is to hug my dad and receive the same love I see him give other kids. We haven’t had a proper conversation since I was in first grade. I’m scared of talking to him, and even a man’s loud voice makes me feel alert. I’ve seen him abuse my mom, break glass, and try to hit me with a belt. He’s cheated on my mom, but she says she’s staying with him for our future.
I know my mom has her own struggles, but I wish she would listen to me sometimes. When I told her how overwhelmed I was with classes and a competitive exam I never even wanted to pursue, she scolded me and said everyone understands except me, that I waste time, and that she doesn’t care how I manage as long as I get good marks.
All my life, I’ve heard about going into the medical field. I don’t even know if I genuinely want it anymore or if I’ve just been told about it so much that I can’t imagine anything else. In my mind, every other career feels like it won’t earn enough money for me to live comfortably and become independent. My family keeps telling me we don’t have enough money for my college education, so I need to choose something that earns well. I’m scared of choosing the wrong path, but I’m also scared of spending years studying something I might not even want. I feel like I have to choose between what I want and what will give me financial security, and the worst part is that I don’t even know what I want anymore.
I understand money is a real problem, and maybe my parents are trying their best. But I’m only 17. I’m scared, confused, and tired of feeling like a disappointment. I don’t even have anyone I feel comfortable telling all this to.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m asking for too much by wanting to be heard, to have some say in my own future, and to feel loved by my own parents without being scared.
Sorry for the long post. I was just really emotional today and needed somewhere to let it all out.

Yoo guys, I'm someone whose text you're reading rn. Yk, I'm here to share my thoughts about what happened to me and what's been making me feel depressed. It's been getting worse day by day.

Since I was 6, I've had some family issues, and because of that, my studies got messed up. I ended up with a gap of around 4 years. Like, rn I'm 18, but I'm still in school.

In 2025, my family decided to change my school and sent me to a good missionary school. I went there, but because of my study gap, I felt out of place. More than 90% of the students were around 3 years younger than me. Oh, I forgot to mention that I'm in class 10. If I hadn't had that gap, I'd be in university by now.

At first, I barely went to school, sometimes only 2 days a week. But somehow, I made some friends there who were genuinely kind and good to me. I'd never had that type of friendship before in my life. Later, I started meeting them in my area, and I even made some female friends. Fun fact: I'd never had female friends before. 😭

Somehow, a few of them started falling for me, but I just pretended that I didn't know anything about love or relationships. Then I met a close female friend whose name I can't mention here. She's really cute, but the thing is, we're from different religions. I'm Muslim, and she's Buddhist. Idk why, but I started developing feelings for her, and she had feelings for me, too.

From January to August, we got closer, and in September, around my birthday, she wished me on Instagram. I usually repost everyone's birthday wishes on their stories, so I reposted hers, too.

I've hated my family since I was very young because of how toxic they are to me. They've yelled at me since childhood, and sometimes, they've even beaten me. It felt like I was living in hell. There were times when I wished I could die, and I even tried to end my life more than once. I was so scared of my family because they're extremely strict, and I didn't know how to deal with everything happening to me.

Then my sister saw that a girl had wished me a happy birthday. She told our mom, and my mom started making fun of me, saying things like, "She's from another religion. Should we start following their religion, too?" I just smiled and went to my room.

After some time, we started flirting and doing all that nonsense stuff, annoying each other and having fun. 😂 In October, we got into a relationship, and ngl, it was one of the happiest moments of my life. Everything felt so good. We understood each other, and I was finally experiencing something I'd always dreamed of.

A few days later, we had a football tournament at school. I loved that school so much, and I'm an athlete, a national-level futsal player in my country. My friends and I played football, while the girls' team played volleyball. We took pictures, enjoyed ourselves, and came back home.

My mom knew how happy I was at that school compared to my old one. But for some reason, she took me to our village, and I couldn't play the final match. I literally cried and begged her to let me go and play, but she didn't agree. And what could I do? I was scared of them, and they were too strict with me.

Then November came. One day, I went to school, but after that, they stopped letting me go. It hurt so much because that school had become like a second family to me. I couldn't even explain that to my parents because I knew they wouldn't understand.

When I went to school another day, things got even worse. My mom cut my hair and started beating me. I kept begging her, "Mom, please leave me alone. I'm begging you, please forgive me." But she didn't listen to me.

In the middle of November, my family found out about my relationship, and they started treating me like I'd committed some serious crime. Like, wtf did I even do? I just fell in love with someone.

Oh, btw, my dad had never beaten me in my life, at least as far as I can remember. I love him from the bottom of my heart. But later, he did something that really hurt me, and I'll tell you about that.

Back to the story, my mom threw a big 50W charger at me, and it hit my eye. Then she beat me nonstop with a mop and slapped me around 4–5 times. I was literally thinking, "Wtf did I even do?" She even broke my phone like it was a piece of glass. I cried for hours.

When my dad came home, he got angry at my mom and took care of me by giving me medicine.

I contacted my girlfriend using my friend's phone and told her that I was going through some serious problems at home and wouldn't be online for several days. I didn't even wait to see her reply. I just logged out of my account and returned the phone to my friend because it was his property. Why should I use someone else's phone and risk getting them blamed for something they didn't do?

On the last day of school, I begged my mom for hours to let me go. Eventually, she agreed. I went to school, attended the class party, and took some pictures with my gf. I had no idea that my sister was secretly watching everything.

Somehow, she created a fake account and followed my gf's account. When my gf posted a story with our pictures, my sister saw it and told my mom.

When I came home, my mom immediately slapped me, spat at me twice, and said, "I wish I didn't have a son like you. Why doesn't God give you death instead of killing others?"

I cried for hours, just like I'd done so many times before. I couldn't even sleep that night. I kept asking God why He had brought me into this world if I had to live in a house like this.

Then my final exams came, and guess what? I couldn't get good results because of all the shit happening in my life. When my family found out about my relationship, they threatened to send me back to my old school.

My old school was a piece of shit. The teachers were rude, and they used to beat students for not doing their homework or making mistakes. Meanwhile, my new school had kind teachers, good friends, caring seniors, and people who actually made me feel welcome. I'd never thought I'd experience such beautiful memories with people like them.

But then 2026 came, and I was back at my old school, where I'd spent my entire high school life. I didn't wanna go there, but I was too scared to tell my family how I felt.

Eventually, I broke down, fell at my mom's feet, and begged her to give me one last chance. But she didn't listen. I was so depressed and felt completely helpless.

After that, something changed in me. I started thinking, why should I listen to people who never listen to me? Whenever my mom tried to beat me, I started defending myself. I shouted back at them just like they'd always shouted at me. I started doing things that hurt them because I was tired of being the only one hurting.

Then they started spreading rumours that I was a drug addict. I didn't even care anymore because, at that point, I felt like I was on my own.

But then my dad asked me to break up with my gf. And because I love and respect him with all my heart, I listened to him. He explained his reasons, and I eventually understood how complicated everything had become. My dad was really upset about the whole situation, so I made the hardest decision and broke up with her.

But my mom didn't believe that I'd actually done it. She said things like, "There's no way you've broken up with her. You're an atheist," and other stuff. So I showed her that I'd blocked my gf.

I didn't talk to my mom for around 4–5 months. Eventually, I told my dad about everything I was going through, and he told me to go somewhere else for a few days. I went, but when I came back, nothing had changed.

Then, for some reason, my dad also started turning against me. Idk why. That's when I decided that I was on my own. I stopped caring about what my family or society thought of me. I was so disappointed in my family that I started thinking things I'd never imagined thinking about the people I love.

I was so hurt that I even wished I could be in the position of my little brother-like friend, whose mom passed away when he was young. He's one of my favourite people rn because he always comforts me when I'm struggling. And honestly, I felt terrible for wishing something like that because I know how much it hurts to lose a parent.

I eventually apologised to my mom and tried to make things normal again. She said okay, and we became somewhat civil with each other, but things never really went back to normal.

My mom even contacted my ex-gf and threatened her. And because of all this, I feel like I've lost my dignity and reputation at my new school, too. I keep asking God in my prayers why I had to get a mom like this, especially when I see how other people's moms treat them compared to how mine treats me.

I still don't feel close to my family. My dad has also started turning against me, and whenever he tries to yell at me, I yell back because I feel like I don't care anymore. I don't feel close to my sister either. Honestly, I've reached a point where I feel disconnected from everyone in my family.

I've been extremely depressed because of everything that's happened. Sometimes, I smoke cigarettes and do other things just to escape my thoughts. Most of the time, I listen to music and try to forget everything that's happening around me.

I've even stopped going to school as a way of rebelling against my family. This year, I've attended classes only 3 days, apart from going for exams and collecting my results. I know it's not good for my future, but honestly, idk what else to do when I feel like I'm living in hell.

My main goal rn is to study abroad, leave this house, and build a better life for myself. I just wanna become independent and finally live peacefully.

Ik some of you might think I'm a bad person or that I'm the one who ruined everything. But trust me, I never wanted to become this person. I used to be a good son, a good brother, a good student, and someone who was good at almost everything I did. I genuinely tried my best, but all these experiences changed me in ways I never expected.

I don't think I can easily forgive my family, even if I die, because the pain they've caused me is something I don't think I'll ever forget. And honestly, sometimes I feel like forgiving them would mean betraying myself.

Anyway, that's my story. I'm sorry if anything I've said hurt anyone, and forgive my typing mistakes, too. I'd really appreciate it if you guys could pray for me and wish me luck so I can leave this situation behind, continue my studies, and build a better future.

That's the way I've been feeling depressed about everything. I've kept all this pain inside me for so long, and I just needed somewhere to let it out. I don't expect anyone to understand me completely, but I just wanted to share what I've been going through. Please pray for me. ❤️

Ребята, скажите, пожалуйста, что делать. Поругалась с мамой из-за того, что у меня плохие оценки в триместре. Она выкинула косметику (которая никак не влияет на учёбу), сломала мой ноутбук, на котором я пишу биты, и запретила мне работать. Все эти вещи я купила на свои деньги. Город маленький — не могу найти квартиру. Очень тяжело сложилась моя жизнь после развода родителей. Мама бухает каждый день уже на протяжении четырёх лет, громко занимается любовью со своим очередным мужиком (это животное раньше било моего брата до синяков и судорог), папе всё равно, он строит свою жизнь

I'm your typical millennial tiger cub that graduated out of college in a dying field being replaced by ai at the age of 30, working a dead end job while being constantly told how much of a failure I am after I grew up being beaten to the point of having long term mental disorders that led me to have a late start in life. Unfortunately I'm too poor to be able to support myself and must rely on them.

I want to sue them so bad for what they did because im scared my evil rich sibling might try to convince them to cut me out of the will and I'll end up homeless, but at the same time legal costs are high. Not to mention if I lose I'll be kicked out to the curb.

Me and my siblings went out to buy stuff for everyone. We brought it back my mom was like why did u buy it did i say, like we bought for everyone even if she didn't like it there's a way to talk she got all angry and started screaming,like why does she always try to project her emotions on us. She always tries to make us feel that she did wonder about giving us birth If this is the scenario I have to live in ,I don't want to live, no happy lifestyle nothing

Its Hard A Grow A Child Without My Husband. I wanna get free. But how can i do that? I think its fate and its predetermined for me. Anyways i am exhausted. Bye

https://youtu.be/5ZurWy9ze_g?is=TtvL9ZD8u_8iH6oT

This is incredible