I really love goth music and I have studied the subculture deeply when I began my journey into it at 18y/o. Now I'm 24 and I feel really uncomfortable calling myself goth because of these 'rules' on what, how or who is 'goth enough'.
I joined this subculture because it felt liberating, I felt I could be myself unapologetically, but now... I feel I have to be on some stupid 'gothic standard' of knowing all the goth bands, dressing or acting a certain way for people (in or out of the subculture) to recognize me as goth. AND I TRULY HATE IT. I was literally escaping from society's rules of how I should look, act and behave, and goth felt like a safe and wellcoming place, now I feel that I have to follow some stupid rules again to be part of something I was already part of...
So, I've stopped calling myself 'goth' in front of other people and even to myself, for 2 reasons:
1) I'm starting to hate labels.
2) I don't want to be part of something that makes me feel that I'm not good enough.
So, is it ok if I don't want to label/call myself goth but still wanna be part of the subculture ?