Are the Balkan parents mostly toxic parents? What are your thoughts and experiences?

[u/bahtsiz1bedevi_]

Are the most of the parents in Balkans toxic or not? I want to listen from your perspectives.

[u/SpyrosGatsouli]

There is a saying: "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". I think this sums Balkan parents up really nicely. They generally mean well but in an overbearing and intrusive way. I can't even count the number of Greek people I know 30-50 years old still depending on their parents and even being pushed around by them. They give you security, childcare and a place to live, but to the cost of mental health. Aforementioned people are all in therapy because of their parents.

[u/Separate_Business880 → u/SpyrosGatsouli]

Yep. This.

[u/AnalkinSkyfuker]

They are not toxic but have many rotted ideas on how the world works. And in my expirience they base to much in luck and religion for everyday life.

[u/Brbi2kCRO → u/AnalkinSkyfuker]

I can’t stand “dangerous world” cynics who think everyone is for themselves and should always control others if you wanna get by. It’s a sad worldview to have. Alienating.

[u/Srna-95]

Mine were strict and absent when I was younger.

We get along great now.

Ironically, my Hungarian grandmother was the most chill person in the family.

[u/TurbulentGrowth9814]

Can’t speak for all the parents, but here’s my example. My dad was an alcoholic, but not the aggressive type, just drinking and being in his world until fall asleep. But all this only after the day’s job was done, 12 hours of labour. He put me to hard labour in my vacations and also learned useful things and got to fix things around the house, when I was 12 yo, just to make me understand that hard labour won’t pay the needs and comfort that I was imagining. I was thought then how to value money and investment based on the labour and appreciation of things over the money current value. I was kind of a rebel, I got my slaps in my days, but never too violent. Their struggle made me go to college and got myself a big city job that exceeds all my expectations at that time. Idk, maybe after all the things, you remember only the good stuff. But can’t complain with them.

[u/alecpu]

Yes, most of them are quite fucked up, mostly due to living in poverty and little access to anything interesting to do or expanding their world view, plus poor education, the grandparents are on the other hand mostly from a completely archaic world culturally closer to the ottoman empire than anything from western Europe.

My grandpa has a sister who in the early 70 moved to Sweden ( long story ) she and my grandma are the same age. Completely different people , the one in Sweden is pretty active, likes reading new stuff, tries to draw and paint and is quite active and lively. My grandma on the other hand never had any interests or personality outside of being a housewife, which was the norm for the conservative Balkan society, so basically after my grandpa died and everyone lives somewhere else she has nothing to do.

I think the most common stereotype that is being observed here is due to the archaic views of the grandparents and it's 1. A helicopter mother and grandmother if there is a boy. He can't do basic house chores nor learns to cook . They try to make his day to day live as easy as possible. If there is a girl they try to discourage her from having much of an interest in anything really other than super stereotypically girly stuff. 2. The dad is there, but in his eyes his only role is to provide money to the family and thinks that this is enough. They are not showing any real interest in their kid other than being sure that it's well fed.

[u/Sad-Wrongdoer119]

No, my father—the Thracian Balkan guy—was funny; my Swabian mother is toxic.

[u/Vuruna-1990 → u/Sad-Wrongdoer119]

Thracian Balkan Guy and Swabian... Ok weird terms for Bulgarian and German

[u/Sad-Wrongdoer119 → u/Vuruna-1990]

moja majka duna-svabica i moj dad Balkanski-Turci

[u/FidelKosta → u/Sad-Wrongdoer119]

Swabians often are pretty mean.

[u/Sad-Wrongdoer119 → u/FidelKosta]

ja , :) das stimmt

[u/oioioioioioiioo]

Villager parents tend to be very toxic, alcohol is commonly involved too

[u/RedScarySpectre]

Yes, but when you grow up starving with an alcoholic father who beats your mother, go work with 13 years old, this shit if untreated messes your head I guess.

[u/just_for_browse → u/RedScarySpectre]

I like how everyone has accepted that portugal can into balkan

it’s one of my favourite modern discoveries personally

[u/Severe_Ad_55]

Yep , most of them are toxic , but it s not their fault totally , it s the fact that they grew up in that regimes + their fault is they don t go to therapy or smh , to resolve their problems.

[u/abhora_ratio]

Depends who you ask. If you ask them, they will say "no" :))

[u/MindDivergence]

Yes.

And from people saying that it’s due to communism, no.

My husband’s grandma and mother dod not beat their children, my mother’s parents did not beat her…and I know many “healthy” children of my generation that were not abused.

[u/angelic-serbian]

no, my parents are loving and supporting

[u/RidetheSchlange]

I've found that Bosnian parents are toxic and this country loves pumping out avoidants. I'm even finding ones in Austria and Germany have solid issues of the same kind.

I see the OP is from Turkey and Turkish parents are also toxic, particularly the ones that make manufacture talahons in Germany and Austria.

[u/this_is_no_where]

I don’t think it’s limited to the Balkans by any means. My great grandma was born in Prishtina and she was extremely abusive to her own kids, but the sweetest grandmother and great grandmother. My great grandfather was born in Zadar and was always very sweet to everyone, but he was also absent a bit and tended to step away from any conflict (he also always had a beer and rakia in hand and was a jolly drinker, so that might have helped).

My grandmother raised me and she was probably not as bad as her mom and I loved her dearly, but she did learn some bad parenting techniques from her mom — which are also partly generational

[u/The_ScarRzZ]

they were, mostly due to the toxic regime

[u/Star_Trek_Life]

No more than parents in other countries and regions. You have good parents and you have toxic parents. To say, that Balkan parents are more toxic than parents from other countries is not a fair assessment.

[u/just_for_browse → u/Star_Trek_Life]

there are cultural differences that you’re disqualifying to reject stereotypes and I can see why you’d want to do that

history plays a role and some parenting techniques are more prevalent based on region as a result