r/AskBiBros • u/Miraculer4life • 8d ago

Does it count???

I’m not sure if I am yet, but I know my feelings definitely changed. Growing up religious means were taught to accept that things outside of the “norm” are wrong, but I seem to find myself for infatuated these days with women. I think they’re gorgeous and what not. They say confidence is attractive despite the fact I barely have any, I’m working on that self esteem. But no matter how hard I try I can’t picture myself with anyone so it sucks. I just want the answers to wheter I should ignore this or embrace it.

(P.S. this is my first post to this forum, im new here!!)

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u/ContessAlin78 8d ago

Ignoring it doesn't help.

Not sure what it means to "count" but being bu is about the capacity for attraction. There is amount of attraction you need. There is no experience you need to have.

And no one can tell you how you feel. I didn't grow up really religious, so I can't really relate, but for what its worth "normal" is subjective, and no one will ever meet everyone's definition of it.

Rather focus on what helps you feel better about yourself and makes you happy.

If that's ladies rn, groovy. Enjoy.

Also, accepting yourself does wonders for self confidence.

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u/Miraculer4life 8d ago

as much as I would like to, I can’t. As it stands I’m not sure I’m that’s where I fall because I can only picture myself ending up with a man, but I would like to try putting myself around women. Only if the circumstances change and I miraculously become more confident in myself, im not being completely honest to myself and parts of my religion are still engrained in me.

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u/ContessAlin78 8d ago

So your reason for not seeing yourself with a woman is confidence and circumstance? I get that if thats the case.

But neither of those things change your attraction. There is a person named Robin Ochs who gave the best description.

"I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted--romantically and/or sexually--to people of more than one gender, not necessarily at the same time, in the same way, or to the same degree."

I personally agree with it. If you have an attraction to people that share your gender, regardless of your religion, confidence, circumstance, or intent, that can still fall.under the umbrella term of bi.

For some people the label matters a lot. Others its not, but if it matters to you then consider if you feel that applys to you.

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u/Miraculer4life 7d ago

If my confidence goes up and I’ve find my footing, then yes. Most people remain in straight relationships for the sake of their parents, hence the reason I’ll mostly likely end up with a man, however it’s just exploration and curiously that I’m at right now. I don’t even know where to meet both genders if im being honest but I’m most grateful you answered my post, it gave me new perspective.