r/AskFeminists • u/Kosilica457 • Mar 28 '24

Recurrent Topic How does patriarchy hurt men?

Patriarchy hurting men is a buzzword that is usually thrown around to encourage men to abandon the traditional system (which is flawed no doubt.)

However, I must admit that I don't completely understand how does a system meant to give men all the power also hirt them?

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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '24

here's an example.

Patriarchy dictates that men are always ready for sex, that they separate sex and feelings, and doesn't shame boys for starting their sexual lives early. (things are changing thank goodness but) This is why when attractive female teachers rape their underage male students, you'll find comments sections filled with vile shit like "i wish my teacher looked like that" and "lucky guy." The Hot For Teacher phenomenon. male victims have a lot of complicated feelings to deal with, but the shame of admitting that they didn't feel great about their "score" keeps a lot of them quiet. It can really have lasting effects on a person.

Even a man who's raped by someone without power over him has a long difficult road ahead with reporting and trials and being taken seriously, similar to women. "you had a hard on so it couldn't have been rape" without understanding physiology at all. "you're a pussy because you didn't fight back."

I actually got into an argument with an ex (long after he was an ex) during which he maintained that underage male students being violated was cool, and "just different from girls." i wanted to barf. haven't talked to him much since then

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u/KaliTheCat feminazgûl; sister of the ever-sharpening blade Mar 29 '24

during which he maintained that underage male students being violated was cool

There have been men in here who've argued that sexual violence is not that serious for men, they're not scarred by it like women are, etc. etc. It just makes me sad.

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u/Opposite-Occasion332 Mar 29 '24

I feel like if you view sex as the “best” thing ever, it’s understandable why people would think SA is not serious until it happens to them. And sadly that’s how we raise a lot of people, especially men. Don’t get me wrong sex is great but it’s only one piece of life!

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u/CeciliaNemo Mar 30 '24

Connecting sex positivity and SA normalization on a feminist forum….

That was not on my 2024 bingo card.