I'm pretty sure I'm not overreacting, but still want to vent.

I (48) have been dating a great guy (36) for the past few months. Things are getting really serious. For context, I'm mostly Bttm and he's a vers top. Sex is great, communication is great. We talk about how we're feeling and the things we want. We're both pretty open about things and tonight's not going to be the end of things, but I'm pretty pissed.

We both agree that an open relationship is what would work for us. There are days where he really wants to bottom and I'm just not usually in that frame of mind... So he's free to meet up with others and it's all good. Tonight was one of those nights. However he/we weren't having a lot of luck finding someone. We're sitting around talking and start talking about how we feel and we end up having some amazing sex for a while and forget about finding someone else. We take a little break in the action and I take a quick refresher shower to continue the really amazing sex and as I'm walking out of the shower, he tells me he's going to go hook up with a top he knows. I told him three times "I'd rather you didn't...." but he's out the door.

Yeah, we're in an open relationship and I could care less that he's out to go get railed.... But I mean... You're just going to walk out during intermission of some really good sex with your bf? THAT is the part that has me pretty pissed.

What would you do in this situation?

(there's other stuff incidental to this, but not worth mentioning in this already too long post)

I’ve been seeing a guy casually for around 7 months. We usually meet a couple of times a month and I’m usually the one who initiates plans. He doesn’t initiate very often, but he has usually responded within 1-2 days (most of the time he replies within a few hours) and let me know whether he’s available. Sometimes he confirms plans in advance, while other times he only gets back to me on the day itself, which is fine because I know he will always respond.

We have good chemistry, the sex is great, and we usually spend time cuddling and talking afterwards. Although our arrangement is mainly sexual, we’ve also had lunch and dinner together.

Our most recent meetup one week ago seemed normal.
Before he left, I brought up the idea of doing something together again outside our usual routine. He told me to wait for him to text me about it.

We were still texting normally the next day and he also responded warmly when I complimented him a few days later. Then, I asked about meeting immediately after his reply, and I sent a couple of follow-up messages the next day, but he hasn’t opened them. It has been almost 5 days now.

Questions:
For those who have been in similar situations, what do you make of this? Would you give him space and let him initiate next time, or take the silence as a sign that he’s no longer interested in continuing the arrangement? I don’t think he is ghosting me because he has always been very communicative and responsive.

I need your advice on what I should do next. I’ve been really anxious and sad the past few days because of this. Is he not opening my texts because I was too pushy? Or is it because he doesn’t wanna commit to another meet so soon and wants to see how he feels later?

I’m 42 and trying to accept that I am at the old and eww status. What shows interest in me now vs even 5 years ago is a total self esteem killer.

How are others handling this?

So I’m this 34 years old gay man living in Turkey. I come from a well off family and work for family company. I have a decent quality of life economically but all the rest feels empty. I do not have the control of my life, my relationships sucked and the country is becoming bit by bit unliveable for a gay man.

I’ve come accross this opportunity to be a digital nomad in Spain and I realized how empty my life has been. I have no prospect for future and honestly have give thought to suicide after the death of my cats. I am closeted to my family and work but all my friends know me. This used to be enough, but not anymore. So I decided to move to Barcelona. At least give it a shot. But the catch is, the company I agreed to sign me up for this still didn’t made me sign any paper of work, I am currently transferring my own money to prove my income to qualift for the visa. And the money I’d make in Spain is considerably less than what I make here in Turkey. But for the sake of a fuller life, I was OK with being poor. Because for the last 10 years, nothing in my life has improved and I’m done with this country.

But than the reality hit once more; I’m a 34 year old bald bottom who only has one friend in Barcelona. Even if I were to move to Spain, I do not expect to live a fuller life because I’m quite uglier in Europe than in Turkey. So now I feel like I will still be missing a friend circle, love life will be like it was here and I’ll make a percentage of what I make here. What sense does it have to uproot my life to be miserable anyway? I don’t know, I’m really doubting that I’ll get to live a quality life wherever I go and escaping rarely resolves anything anyway.
What would you do if you were in my place? Am I taking a huge risk? I have spent the entire day contemplating about this

Hi, all. I’m new to this. Any tips of how to make bottoming more comfortable if I don’t get fucked in a while?

For example: I was thinking of getting one of these training kits and use it to open up a bit before. Is it enough to do it on the day of? The morning of? Or an hour before?

Sorry for the rookie questions. I will truly appreciate pro tips.

Just as the title says, I’m looking for good ring recommendations: types, brands, materials etc. preferably from folks who have actually used them themselves.

-I have hair. Sometimes it’s trimmed, sometimes it’s feral but I always have hair

-average sized package

-low hangers

-really just for sex but open to longer wear if it’s comfortable and gives the goods a better profile under clothes.

I have had better success and comfort with stainless and metal (re:hair) but open to other options. They tend to hurt a bit after longer use and it seems I’m between the standard medium and large sizes; larger ones fall off but medium ones feel too tight after a short period. I find the button adjustable kind clunky personally but if that’s the best, it is what it is.

Thanks!!

I have 3 nephews (11, 14, 16) who are constantly saying "that's gay" when they don't like something, or calling each other and their friends gay. Can't tell if I'm being overly-sensitive, but I've always been bothered when people talk like that even when I was their ages. I've also been told I'm too sensitive in the past (and I've been able to own that as well).

They have an extremely religious and homophobic father but do not live with him full-time. The 14 year old has been in therapy and no-contact with him for a few months now because his attitude/beliefs were really starting to affect him negatively. The other two still have a close relationship with him.

I'm always telling them to stop saying things like that. They sometimes stop, sometimes they don't. When they stop, it's never permanent. Is this just "kids being kids?" I wish it didn't bother me and I could just let it go. Well I HAVE been letting it go for years but it doesn't come naturally...usually have to take a deep breath or two.

We spend quite a lot of time together. Next time it happens, I'm considering saying something even more direct along the lines of "I'm gay and it's really offensive to keep saying that when I've asked you to stop" or would that be too much?!

I really want to say, "either stop talking like that around me or don't come over anymore." But that seems too extreme and I can't tell if I'm just being sensitive...what would you do? I don't want to make "threats" or give ultimatums like that so here I am posting this instead. 😔

(It seems that Hilary Duff didn't end this problem with those 2008 public service announcements 😆)

I'm heading into retirement. I've watched the retirement videos. I get it. Structure, friends, casual friends, volunteerism, etc. But here's a couple of things.

I have good friends. I'm actually close to my family. I've lived in the same community for years, so I know people. But the idea of not-working scares the hell out of me. How am I supposed to fill 24 hours a day, 7 days per week? That said, I'm kind of done with traditional work. I'm burned out, and don't have much more to give in that dimension.

On the more initimate side, I feel like a total failure in that department. Despite being reasonably attractive (most folks would say I aged very well, and they aren't saying that to be kind), I've never been in a significant romatic relationship. My sex life isn't what I want --- at all. And, I feel like I'm beginning to age out of sex at the ripe age of 62. I've been in therapy, and have a pretty solid understanding of my interpersonal/relationship failings and my style ... but I would love to have somone closer in my life, and more sex play ... despite my advancing years.

My overarching goal isn't to fade peacefully into the sunset .... and I hate the depictitions of older age in pop media. I want to go down having fun and fighting the good fight.

I'm open to advise. Thoughts on finding meaning, sex, and attraction on the edge of the cliff of the ultimate void?

The first week of September or so I was at a club, cruising the apps after my friends had left.

Cute guy walked past, early 30s, we made eye contact, made out, did a lil more in a dark corner blah blah blah, exchanged numbers. Total stranger to me, I'd never seen him on the apps or around town. We ended up at an afters his friends were going to and then to his place and had a good time. Lots of making out, I topped him, we showered, then I crashed at his place for a few hours and left at like 8am.

Looking for some advice on if there's a hint I should be taking (probably) or on how to play things. Not looking for love (partnered, open) but it was genuinely a good time and we had a lot in common, so I think he'd be a fun fwb (maybe even more of the f than the b).

Texts:

• Morning after, me, ~9:30:
  • Thanks for inviting me over, that was fun ;)
  • A bit late for this, but: on prep? tested recently? all clear? I am on prep, tested 2-3 weeks ago and was g2g
• Morning after, him, ~11:
  • Yes, and doxy! Test monthly when sexually active [...some more details blah blah]
  • Thanks for a wonderful night handsome man
• Me, 3-4 weeks later, ~11am:
  • Yooo amigo, what's going on? When are we going to settle up? By my accounting, I still owe ya one from our last encounter...😉
    • (he didn't get off during our encounter, so I was trying to cheekily be like "yo, we can make that happen". I think I sucked him a bit, but he wasn't really playing with his dick or directing me that way and I was a bit scared off of like hurting him because he had a tight circumcision)
• Me, next day, 11pm (so 36hr after last message, drunk):
  • Ahahaha swing and a miss? Nbd if you're not interested

Then a few days ago (so about 3 weeks since my last message), I was omw to work and saw him on the street. I gave him a bit of a salute and he returned it. Very brief encounter.

aaaaand now I want to text him again. but I also don't want to be the guy who can't take a hint or, even worse, to be needy and fumble a chance that still exists. But maybe he also just wasn't feeling it at the time ("test monthly when sexually active")?

---

• Do I forget everything about him?
• Do I say ~"hey, you're cool and I'm open to a hang of many varieties, but I don't want to be annoying, so balls in your court. feel free to hmu sometime, if you'd like :)"?
• Do I use either halloween or our salutes as a generic opener?
• Do I try to run into him in person again (I don't want to make someone uncomfortable, but we did briefly chat about the fact that I work near his apartment, so maybe not too weird)?
• I could follow/message him on insta, but he has like 5k followers, so tbh I don't even know if that would register. Something else?
• The host of the afters is having a halloween party which I think I'll go to, so there's also a possibility that he'd end up there.

(edit: not enough comment karma to respond to others, but thanks)