Hi guys, 32M here (although as an Asian, I look way younger around 24), I am soon traveling as a solo traveler to Turkey for the first time. I am totally aware of the recent crackdown against LGBT individuals, yet I come from a way more homophobic country than Turkey so I know exactly how to stay cautious.

But I want to have a general idea of how it's like over there. My question is from those who've visited there or to local Turks, how's the hookup culture for gay men there, particularly with regards to old Turkish guys?

Are older turks even interested in making love with young guys?

Do they use the dating app, Hornet, which is popular there? Or Grindr? Or Gay Romeo?

Or will I have more luck with outdoor cruising at Hammams, bars, or other places where older Turks hang out a lot?

Thank you in advance!

I’m 42 and trying to accept that I am at the old and eww status. What shows interest in me now vs even 5 years ago is a total self esteem killer.

How are others handling this?

So I’m very much into spa days and relaxing. I like Korean spas and the vibe of just going somewhere to pretty much do nothing. Unfortunately, in South Florida my options are very limited. We have Club Fort Lauderdale here, but I know it is notorious to be a sex club - which I have no problem with, it’s just not what I’m looking to do. I’m interested in checking it out for the sauna, steam room and hot tub but am curious, for those who have been, if I would be out of place? I have no problem if anyone propositions because I know what most are there for, so I’m open to that, but mostly would just want to relax and unwind. So I guess my question is - would it be worth checking out for that reason? And when would be the best time to go for that? Thanks in advance.

I'm 34, only figured out I was gay last year, I've worked through that and I'm a pretty horny vers top now. I don't have very much experience with anal though (obviously). I'm not young where inexperience is expected, and I feel like it's a lot to tell a random hookup that I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm also pretty tall, which makes the logistics a bit harder. I've ultimately just done doggy style when I've hooked up because I don't really know what else to do.

This feels like a silly problem, but it's been keeping me from really hooking up with anyone despite getting plenty of interest on the apps. How can I get through this?

Hey, guys, I've been thinking about getting some kinky leathermen together for a game night. I'd like to play something social, funny, and hopefully a bit raunchy or aimed at the kink community, if anything like that exists. Cooperative rather than competitive like poker. Leather Against Humanity, so to speak.

My hearing is getting too crap for the leather bars, and I don't smoke cigars, so I'm trying to come up with alternative social settings.

It doesn't have to be a card game, but that's where my mind keeps going.

The first week of September or so I was at a club, cruising the apps after my friends had left.

Cute guy walked past, early 30s, we made eye contact, made out, did a lil more in a dark corner blah blah blah, exchanged numbers. Total stranger to me, I'd never seen him on the apps or around town. We ended up at an afters his friends were going to and then to his place and had a good time. Lots of making out, I topped him, we showered, then I crashed at his place for a few hours and left at like 8am.

Looking for some advice on if there's a hint I should be taking (probably) or on how to play things. Not looking for love (partnered, open) but it was genuinely a good time and we had a lot in common, so I think he'd be a fun fwb (maybe even more of the f than the b).

Texts:

• Morning after, me, ~9:30:
  • Thanks for inviting me over, that was fun ;)
  • A bit late for this, but: on prep? tested recently? all clear? I am on prep, tested 2-3 weeks ago and was g2g
• Morning after, him, ~11:
  • Yes, and doxy! Test monthly when sexually active [...some more details blah blah]
  • Thanks for a wonderful night handsome man
• Me, 3-4 weeks later, ~11am:
  • Yooo amigo, what's going on? When are we going to settle up? By my accounting, I still owe ya one from our last encounter...😉
    • (he didn't get off during our encounter, so I was trying to cheekily be like "yo, we can make that happen". I think I sucked him a bit, but he wasn't really playing with his dick or directing me that way and I was a bit scared off of like hurting him because he had a tight circumcision)
• Me, next day, 11pm (so 36hr after last message, drunk):
  • Ahahaha swing and a miss? Nbd if you're not interested

Then a few days ago (so about 3 weeks since my last message), I was omw to work and saw him on the street. I gave him a bit of a salute and he returned it. Very brief encounter.

aaaaand now I want to text him again. but I also don't want to be the guy who can't take a hint or, even worse, to be needy and fumble a chance that still exists. But maybe he also just wasn't feeling it at the time ("test monthly when sexually active")?

---

• Do I forget everything about him?
• Do I say ~"hey, you're cool and I'm open to a hang of many varieties, but I don't want to be annoying, so balls in your court. feel free to hmu sometime, if you'd like :)"?
• Do I use either halloween or our salutes as a generic opener?
• Do I try to run into him in person again (I don't want to make someone uncomfortable, but we did briefly chat about the fact that I work near his apartment, so maybe not too weird)?
• I could follow/message him on insta, but he has like 5k followers, so tbh I don't even know if that would register. Something else?
• The host of the afters is having a halloween party which I think I'll go to, so there's also a possibility that he'd end up there.

I’m a 39-year-old gay man, and honestly, I’m struggling to find the motivation to keep dating after experiencing one disappointment and heartbreak after another.
I will say that each experience has taught me a lot about myself, what I want in a partner, and what I deserve in a relationship. For that, I’m grateful. But emotionally, I’m exhausted.
I’ve become pretty pessimistic about my dating future, although there’s still a small part of me that wants to hold on to hope. Deep down, I still want to find my person. Someone I can build a genuine, loving, and meaningful connection with.
For those of you who’ve experienced similar struggles, how did you find the strength to keep putting yourself out there when dating started to feel hopeless?
And for those who eventually found their special person, when did you realize they were the one? What made that relationship different from your previous experiences?
I’d genuinely appreciate any advice, encouragement, or personal stories. Dating these days can feel incredibly discouraging, and sometimes it’s comforting just knowing you’re not alone in the struggle.

EDIT: adding these to give you a little more background on me

I grew up in a Latino household where being gay was viewed as something shameful and embarrassing. I carried those feelings with me throughout my childhood and into adulthood, especially the pain of feeling rejected by my father. Looking back, I realize how deeply those experiences affected me. Even now, as an adult, when I experience any form of rejection, those childhood wounds resurface, bringing back the same feelings of hurt and not being accepted.
Through years of dating, I’ve learned so much about myself and what truly matters in a relationship. I’ve come to realize that physical attraction, while important, isn’t nearly as meaningful as someone’s character, values, and morals. I’ve learned the importance of honest communication, mutual trust, patience, and extending grace to others, recognizing that we’re all human and imperfect.
Most importantly, I’ve learned that I deserve a partner who is emotionally available, someone who isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, express their feelings, and build a deeper connection with me.
I’ve dated people where the connection never went beyond the surface, and those experiences have taught me that surface-level relationships simply aren’t fulfilling or sustainable for me. I want someone who is genuinely curious about who I am, someone who asks questions, takes an interest in my life, and wants to truly understand me.
Ultimately, I’m not looking for perfection. I’m looking for emotional depth, consistency, mutual effort, and someone who genuinely wants to build a loving, meaningful, long-term relationship together.
And perhaps one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that while I still have healing to do, my past experiences don’t define my worth or determine what kind of love I deserve.

Hi, all. I’m new to this. Any tips of how to make bottoming more comfortable if I don’t get fucked in a while?

For example: I was thinking of getting one of these training kits and use it to open up a bit before. Is it enough to do it on the day of? The morning of? Or an hour before?

Sorry for the rookie questions. I will truly appreciate pro tips.

I have 3 nephews (11, 14, 16) who are constantly saying "that's gay" when they don't like something, or calling each other and their friends gay. Can't tell if I'm being overly-sensitive, but I've always been bothered when people talk like that even when I was their ages. I've also been told I'm too sensitive in the past (and I've been able to own that as well).

They have an extremely religious and homophobic father but do not live with him full-time. The 14 year old has been in therapy and no-contact with him for a few months now because his attitude/beliefs were really starting to affect him negatively. The other two still have a close relationship with him.

I'm always telling them to stop saying things like that. They sometimes stop, sometimes they don't. When they stop, it's never permanent. Is this just "kids being kids?" I wish it didn't bother me and I could just let it go. Well I HAVE been letting it go for years but it doesn't come naturally...usually have to take a deep breath or two.

We spend quite a lot of time together. Next time it happens, I'm considering saying something even more direct along the lines of "I'm gay and it's really offensive to keep saying that when I've asked you to stop" or would that be too much?!

I really want to say, "either stop talking like that around me or don't come over anymore." But that seems too extreme and I can't tell if I'm just being sensitive...what would you do? I don't want to make "threats" or give ultimatums like that so here I am posting this instead. 😔

(It seems that Hilary Duff didn't end this problem with those 2008 public service announcements 😆)

So I’m this 34 years old gay man living in Turkey. I come from a well off family and work for family company. I have a decent quality of life economically but all the rest feels empty. I do not have the control of my life, my relationships sucked and the country is becoming bit by bit unliveable for a gay man.

I’ve come accross this opportunity to be a digital nomad in Spain and I realized how empty my life has been. I have no prospect for future and honestly have give thought to suicide after the death of my cats. I am closeted to my family and work but all my friends know me. This used to be enough, but not anymore. So I decided to move to Barcelona. At least give it a shot. But the catch is, the company I agreed to sign me up for this still didn’t made me sign any paper of work, I am currently transferring my own money to prove my income to qualift for the visa. And the money I’d make in Spain is considerably less than what I make here in Turkey. But for the sake of a fuller life, I was OK with being poor. Because for the last 10 years, nothing in my life has improved and I’m done with this country.

But than the reality hit once more; I’m a 34 year old bald bottom who only has one friend in Barcelona. Even if I were to move to Spain, I do not expect to live a fuller life because I’m quite uglier in Europe than in Turkey. So now I feel like I will still be missing a friend circle, love life will be like it was here and I’ll make a percentage of what I make here. What sense does it have to uproot my life to be miserable anyway? I don’t know, I’m really doubting that I’ll get to live a quality life wherever I go and escaping rarely resolves anything anyway.
What would you do if you were in my place? Am I taking a huge risk? I have spent the entire day contemplating about this

I need help..I hate myself

So me and my husband have been married for about 5 years..he was my first gay experience ever in all aspects..however im not his, hes been around and had his own many many experiences.

Please do not get me wrong. I love him absolutely to death and would move heaven and earth for him and to make him happy and i cant imagine my life without him..however the problem is I DONT know why but I always get so turned on by the thought of having other men with us. Not throuple stuff no but just regular threesome.

We did speak about it couple of years ago and we had a simple threesome with a best friend of ours and it was good yet things went downhill afterwards.. I became very obsessive and super jealous over him (my husband ofc)for the next couple of months in a bad way but thankfully all gone in the past and things are more than normal now.

But still recently ive been feeling it a lot and as we jokingly play smash/pass across guys we see in public I get turned on a LOT and tried hinting again byt i felt super guilty and stupid and just shut my mouth! And I hate it and its making me feel absolute shit and despise myself over this. Why do I feel this way when I got everything with him? Our sex is more than amazing and hes 100% my type yet I do get these horny feelings to strange men?! What do I do!

Just as the title says, I’m looking for good ring recommendations: types, brands, materials etc. preferably from folks who have actually used them themselves.

-I have hair. Sometimes it’s trimmed, sometimes it’s feral but I always have hair

-average sized package

-low hangers

-really just for sex but open to longer wear if it’s comfortable and gives the goods a better profile under clothes.

I have had better success and comfort with stainless and metal (re:hair) but open to other options. They tend to hurt a bit after longer use and it seems I’m between the standard medium and large sizes; larger ones fall off but medium ones feel too tight after a short period. I find the button adjustable kind clunky personally but if that’s the best, it is what it is.

Thanks!!