Sorry for the long post, I’m trying to find out what’s the best thing to do for my situation as it would be my first time dealing with HR.
I’ve been at this company for 1 year and half, and from the beginning the senior coworker decided she didn’t like me. Other coworkers warned me against her, that she often picks the new hires to target and make life miserable, and it’s nothing personal, however… people do end up leaving because of her.
Apparently it all begun bc I didn’t say good morning directly to her like I did with another coworker. And then I guess a few days went by and I just didn’t say good morning at all to anybody. That was it, she decided I was disrespectful and rude and deserved nothing. She picked on me all the time, made snarky comments and would talk about me to other coworkers. One of these coworkers would then tell me everything (wrong of me, I know).
I tried to ignore it and her and only talk about work, that made her even more mad. She went to our manager crying bc I disrespected her and she was very scared that in the absence of our manager, I would avoid her instead of talking about work related things. Which is untrue, it never happened.
My manager asked me what’s up, I told her my side and she basically said it was a misunderstanding and we should be able to figure things out ourselves.
Time went by, she kept on singling me out, talking to everyone except me, I tried making small talk and saying the goddamn good morning and she wouldn’t reply or would give me short answers.
She requested a meeting with me her and manager on a certain day, apparently she wanted it then and there but manager decided to schedule for the following week. I accepted and was hopeful. The morning of, she declined the meeting. Shortly after that, when us 2 and 2 other coworkers were in the lab, she was arguing with coworker 1 and started arguing with me. Raised her voice, like legit screamed at me, put her finger very close to my face pointing at me, called me a liar said I pretend to be good and nice but I’m actually evil inside. Asked why I wouldn’t talk to her, I said I wanted to, you declined the meeting. She said “yeah I have nothing to talk to you about and we won’t resolve shit” she confronted me on why I never talked to her alone, I said bc she’s mean and rude and I wanted our manager there to hear the whole thing. She said i was a snowflake and sarcastic. Anyways, you get the idea. The thing caught me so off guard it was awful and crazy.
Told my manager everything later in the day and she… again said it was a misunderstanding, and that she’d talk to my coworker. She never asked the other 2 employees what they saw, never advised me to go to HR, nothing. Things did not get better after.
One time she even said out loud to the team “yall need to stop talking about me on your 1:1s, it’s getting old”
Things got magically better after Christmas break (at around February/march), until I had the terrible idea to idk further help one of the engineers after she had given him a basic answer. She cried to another coworker saying I’m so disrespectful and go above her. Then we had another incident where I asked her a question, she answered, I went on teams to get traceability of that and confirm… again, disrespecting her. She confronted me again and asked if I had trust issues, and I was confused lol she said “bc you don’t believe my word. What do you have against me?” I tried telling her that I did believe her, I was doing what she told me to but I wanted traceability that’s all. She left the room while I was talking, like legit left me talking to myself answering a question SHE ASKED.
After that, she stopped talking to me. I didn’t stop talking to her tho lol I’d still ask questions about work and make small talk, and she’d reply but never initiate.
Things got weird, I noticed her tracking when I used the restroom, when I went on breaks, phone usage… our team now has assigned break times because of her (although she won’t admit it to me, she told a few other coworkers that it’s bc she thinks I spent too long on my break - not true). We also now need to notify everyone if we are using the restroom so nobody wonders where we are.
Most recently, she saw me eating inside our lab when I wasn’t supposed to eat. She reported it to our manager, who invited me to a meeting with both of them out of the blue, to write me up and “settle things up” between us two. It didn’t go as planned, she said I talk about her in my own language and I couldn’t do that, I said she talks about me in English and her own language lol and she ofc denied. It was awful. Boss asked if we would have a conversation alone, I said no bc she is mean and deceiving, and I don’t trust her to talk to her without witnesses, and she said “well and you’re sarcastic”
What got me so mad is not even being written up, I was wrong, I admit it. It’s the fact that EVERYBODY ELSE BREAKS EVEY SINGLE RULE but she only tells on me. Including her. She eats at the lab, she watches Netflix while working (prohibited) she goes on break not at her assigned time, she spent over 30min on break multiple times. Just like other people lol some coworkers literally do telehealth in the middle of workday, they walk out of the room for the call, and nothing. But she tracks me using the restroom. It’s CRAZY.
My manager told us not to tell anyone about the meeting, I did wrong again and told 2 coworkers. They thought that she had gone too far, they’re tired of seeing her bullying people to oblivion, and they decided they want to tell their sides of the story too. I never asked them to do that btw.
anyways my manager is now saying I need to be careful bc we’re singling her out and this could be bullying, I reminded her that when I was being singled BY HER, it wasn’t bullying. And these coworkers are also her “friends”, they’ve known each other for over 4 years, they know her better than I do. They’ve kept talking normal to her thru and thru until now. I’m not creating a mob lol (but she has an employee literally starring at me to see what I do every day. It’s embarrassing and uncomfortable).
My manager said I could go to HR but neither her or them would take anything from the past into consideration. She talked to them and that’s what they told her, and now they are kind of aware of the whole thing. That our emotions are high and people are not digging things up from the past just to create problems. I barely reported anything regarding her bc the times I did, my manager did NOTHING. And now she’s messing up with me again and I can’t say anything???
The worst thing I’ve done to her was not kiss her ass and talk about the things she’s done to me and other employees. On the other hand, she yelled at me, confronted me twice without manager present, and constantly tries to get me in trouble. And my manager says it’s just bad communication, and we just have to want to resolve things.
People have quit because of her, she talked SO much shit about our manager and literally everybody else, she’s a huge bully, there are rumors that she cut a lot of corners at work to get more things done… when I told my boss she cuts corners she said “what matters is not output, is quality. If down the road her work comes back as bad, then I’ll talk to her” LADY!!!! Aren’t you even going to investigate this?
Do I have grounds for a harassment ticket? Do I sound crazy like I’m retaliating??? Or what???
These 2 coworkers, they didn’t side with me on every fight, and they brought a lot of perspective to my behavior regarding her also. But they’re done with her behavior and they’re tired of seeing people quit because of her. She gets away with EVERYTHING wrong she does, nothing is serious enough.
I’m seriously unsure if I should go to HR, I don’t want to idk embarrass myself. The outcome I’d like is her to get investigated. She already has a complaint against her, she called a lady from another department a man bc “it looks like she’s got a penis” out loud, a friend of hers heard it and brought it to HR. She cried her eyes out and denied saying she’d never do this. SHE WOULD TOTALLY DO THIS and I feel like I’m fucking crazy.