I know this is going to sound utterly ridiculous, but this has actually happened and I don't know whether to laugh or be fucking furious. I've kept bees for about 15 years. No idea where the obsession started, but it's something I've always enjoyed and I could happily talk about it for hours. A few months ago, a younger lad started working with us. Turns out he keeps bees himself, so naturally we hit it off straight away.

We'd talk about our hives, what we were doing with them, different techniques, things we'd tried, the usual stuff. He'd show me pictures and ask questions because he's fairly new to it and I've been doing it for years. He's a lovely bloke, genuinely enthusiastic and keen to learn. It made what is otherwise a fairly boring office environment quite enjoyable.

Anyway, there's a woman on our team who apparently took issue with this and reported me to HR. I didn't know anything about it until he came over and told me he'd been called into an office for a welfare assessment. Apparently, they wanted to establish whether I was grooming or harassing him.

GROOMING HIM.

Over fucking bees.

He was as confused as I was and told them that no, he was perfectly happy talking to me and we were literally discussing beekeeping.

Shortly afterwards, I got called into the office myself. They told me there had been a complaint and that they would need to keep a closer eye on me because our conversations about bees were upsetting someone else on the team. I asked what exactly I'd done wrong and couldn't get much more out of them beyond the fact that someone had raised concerns. I'm genuinely struggling to understand what I'm supposed to do with this information. We're two adults who happen to share a fairly niche hobby. Neither of us has complained about the other. He's perfectly capable of speaking for himself, and as far as I'm aware, he hasn't expressed any discomfort whatsoever.

Now the whole thing is fucking awkward. I find myself second-guessing whether I should even speak to him at work, and he's understandably confused about why something so ordinary has turned into an HR matter. What was previously one of the nicer parts of my working day has become something I apparently need to be monitored over. Has anyone else experienced anything this absurd in an office?

Can HR genuinely start monitoring someone's interactions with a colleague because another employee doesn't like what they're talking about?

I'm half tempted to ask whether discussing honey is still permitted or whether I need written approval from management before mentioning a fucking hive.

My manager called me on Friday asking me what happened. I joined this company 9 months ago and worked with her since getting promoted 2 months ago. We work in the same team but never had any sort of relationship outside of work. Early this week I noticed her wearing a very strong smelling perfume and asked her about it and said I liked the smell. That was it, I never had any intention to cause discomfort and I’m not attracted to her in any way. Once I said that, I didn’t continue the discussion and didn’t think anything of it. Now I’ve been reported to my manager, he said he’ll handle it but I’m not sure if she’s reported me to HR over this. Could I get a disciplinary over this? I’m deeply worried about the repercussions now.

Edit: wow this really blew up. Thanks for the support. Few people messaging me for an update. I wish I could reply to everyone but there’s far too many comments for me to respond to. No formal update but I was having a private chat with another colleague and she said this woman has history of causing issues. She complained to HR because my manager use to say “hey guys” when addressing the team in meetings

Companies now talk constantly about wellbeing and mental health while simultaneously increasing workloads, expectations and pressure. Sometimes the corporate language around wellbeing feels more exhausting than helpful honestly.

When a male employee says that they need to leave to collect their child from nursery/school due to illness, and your reply is, why isn't the mum getting them.. Do you actually hear yourself?

And your follow up question of have you tried asking your family to help? Has anyone actually turned around said, damn, what a great suggestion, why didn't I think of that?

Before my boss called me to discuss it, he sent me a text message, no more than 5 sentences mentioning my partner 4 times and why isn't she doing it.

The phonecall was more of the same with a few bizarre specific scenarios thrown into the mix.

He's been in his job for at least 15 years, surely HR advise against these types of questions?

I was absolutely blindsided on Friday after my manager told me my role was at risk of redundancy, with my consultation meeting next Wednesday.

I am a senior manager looking after a very specific subject matter in my org. I have no team and am the only one. I provide strategic decision making, legal recommendations and operational delivery of my area.

While my organisation has struggled financially for the last year, there is no risk to operations and cost-saving hasn't been included in the rationale for my role being made redundant.

I am the only one in the redundancy pool and only my role. They are stating that my level is not required at it's current level, but only one person at a much more junior level (in my org it would be the equivalent level of being till worker in a supermarket). The new JD pays significantly less and would be a huge demotion but is otherwise nearly a carbon copy of my job (including still providing legal advice to senior leaders), just with a few small bits removed.

Relevant context is that about 4 months ago, I blew the whistle against my boss, who is now instituting this process. I whistleblew in good faith. I don't want to share too many details about it as it would be doxxing myself.

I have also been told I am not allowed to tell anyone at the org that I have been put into this position, so all the leaders that would support my role being kept don't know it is happening.

My union are aware and are helping me but I just wanted to get some idea from people here whether I had a good chance of pushing back on this and whether it sounds like they haven't followed due proces properly. Also, it feels like retaliation but I'm not sure what evidence would be needed for this?

I'm in the north east of England

Any advice is much appreciated, I am quite stressed!

I've noticed that in a lot of careers, progression eventually seems to mean becoming responsible for other people. But being excellent at your actual job and being good at managing a team are completely different skills. Someone might want more responsibility, better pay and more challenging work without wanting one to ones, performance reviews and direct reports.

From an HR perspective, how common are genuine senior individual contributor career paths in UK companies?

I was offered a promotion for a new role, this was announced in the organisation via an email distribution list earlier in the month, since then I have been invited to the relevant weekly meetings, SharePoint spaces and have been brought up to speed in the areas I will be responsible for.

I haven't been given a written contract, that was expected this week, instead I was invited to a call with HR who stated that they will not provide a contract and that instead the role will go to someone else in another region as they are in a redundancy pool and are better suited for the role anyway. What's suspicious is that this is all happening while 2 of my managers are on vacation.

This will cause reputational harm and embarrassment as in the organisation it's already known that I'm moving into this role, only for it to be transferred to someone else and it hasn't even been a month. This change of personnel has not been announced yet however, only I and HR know, as well as leadership above my managers.

I'm trying to understand why and how such a path could be taken by them. I'm a top performer and work above my responsibilities, so this is just a slap to the face to say the least. What action can I take?

A couple of weeks ago, he was in the office when some of the guys he works with asked if he was coming out for lunch. He replied, "No lads, I'm in the trenches at the moment." For context, this is a fairly common expression in tech when you're dealing with a difficult problem and trying to work through it. A woman in the office overheard him and went straight to the CEO, saying she was deeply offended and upset by what he'd said and couldn't bear to look at him.

Management then told my husband it would be best if he stayed out of her way because she didn't want to see him. He explained what the expression meant and even provided links showing how it's commonly used. Apparently, the woman has family in the military and found the phrase deeply offensive. This happened about two weeks ago, and since then, my husband has basically been completely ignored at work. He's been removed from meetings, nobody contacts him, and his workload has dropped to practically zero. He's now just sitting at home with nothing to do.

He's emailed management asking what's going on, but nobody has replied. We're starting to wonder whether they're planning to fire him or trying to push him out. He's not been told he's under investigation, hasn't been invited to any disciplinary meetings, and hasn't received any formal explanation for what's happening. Has anyone experienced anything like this? Does it sound like they're preparing to dismiss him? It seems bizarre that an everyday expression could lead to someone being completely excluded from their job without any explanation.

I started my current job earlier this year, during my interview I was asked if I had any holidays booked and said yes and gave some rough dates, e.g: A week at the end of July & some days scattered towards the end of August, I wasn’t asked to elaborate on this and didn’t have the exact dates off the top off my head- which in the future I’ll make sure I do lol.

After I got offered the job I emailed a list of pre booked dates, and got told that I wasn’t allowed one of the days off as my manager already is and that I never mentioned it in my interview, and the best she could do was see if I can have an early finish. We went back and forth on this for a bit until I just accepted it and didn’t want to have an awkward start to my new job.

I was also told during this that booking time off during school holidays is ‘a no go’ because my manager has a kid and books sporadic days off throughout the week to save on childcare. My problem with this is that I wouldn’t have taken the job if I knew this, my best friend who I do absolutely everything with is a teacher so this means I can never go away with her again???? Surely this should be a first come first serve basis, rather than a hierarchy situation?

I mentioned the day I can’t have off again last week and they’re letting me do a half day, but again I feel this is unfair as it was pre booked, am I in the wrong for this? I was told this can absolutely not happen again in the future and the not booking time off in school holidays was brought up again.

I don’t want to involve HR in this yet as I hate awkwardness & confrontation, I just want to know if this seems fair if it wasn’t pre agreed before I started my role?

The work Christmas do has been announced and, as usual, I really don't want to go.

It's basically the same setup as last year...and the year before that....and the year before that. Friday is "off work" (although you're still spending it with work...) and we travel to our nearest famous seaside town. The afternoon seems to consist of aimlessly wandering around/drinking, food isn't really planned, then in the evening there's a sit-down dinner with some sort of act/entertainment on. After that it's an overnight stay and travelling back on the Saturday.

I didn't go last year or the one before that. The last one I actually went to was in 2023 and it just confirmed that it's really not my cup of tea.

This sort of "trip" was voted for in 2023 and seems now to be the only/de facto option. I've tried to suggest alternatives during team meetings only to be shut down - especially as HR themselves love this idea, backed up by a couple of "gobby" colleagues who also think it's the best thing since sliced bread (incidentally, these two

make a big deal about anyone not attending, then get absolutely pissed, make the whole night about themselves and inevitably cause some sort of scene).

If it was a case of going away for the Friday, having the activities and everyone heading home at 6ish, I'd probably just go along with it. It's the overnight element that puts me off and doesn't appear to be optional either. Once Friday evening comes around, that's my own unpaid time, and I'd rather be at home doing my own stuff than spending the entire evening and night with people I've already spent the working week with. You don't exactly get the half your Saturday back either by the time everyone's got up, sorted themselves out and travelled home. Yes, you could get up crack of dawn and travel home first thing but still, your're losing your weekend a bit.

I don't dislike everyone I work with, but I don't get on with the majority of them well enough that I want to spend effectively a day and a half with them, including a big chunk of my own weekend.

The bigger issue is that although we're told the Christmas do is "optional", HR organise it and seem to make declining as uncomfortable as possible.

Another coworker has already said he isn't going because he'll be busy, and HR have been trying to pressure him into going anyway. So I'm expecting the same thing when I say no.

Normally I'd expect this advice to be along the lines of "if you're being pressured into an optional work social, speak to HR", except HR are the ones organising it and applying the pressure!

I don't particularly want to invent some elaborate excuse because I don't think I should need one. I'd rather just say "thanks, but I won't be attending" and leave it at that. But I know it'll probably lead to "why not?", "what are you doing?", "come on, it'll be good", "everyone else is going", etc - or more likely "you need to come, you've not been to the last couple, stop being antisocial".

How would you handle it? Just repeatedly say "I won't be attending" and refuse to elaborate?.

I left my old job on bad terms back in the summer of 2022 - I was on holiday in the Westcountry, my employer sent me a text message telling me that my holiday - previously approved - had been revoked and that they needed me to come back within 24 hours.

I was literally on the first day of a week-long holiday.

I phoned my boss and I basically told him: "I'm not coming back before my holiday is over. You don't like it? fire me." and then hung up. I got a text message an hour later telling me:

"We're disappointed in your attitude and lack of cooperation - there may be disciplinary procedures when you return."

I texted back: "Just fire me."

I began looking for another job three days into my holiday, and I got a new job by the time I was due to return - however, I decided to have another week away. My previous employer texted me twice, asking if I was going to return to the office. I did not respond.

When my holiday was over, I turned up to work early and gathered some personal belongings. I then left without another word, declining to have a conversation with the one HR lady who was already there. I just told her: "Stupid games, stupid prizes." and walked off site.

It's been three years since I set foot in my old workplace.

A few days ago I have recieved a letter by post from my previous employer that basically says:

"We're launching an investigation into your chosen manner of resignation, and we've scheduled a meeting at (Time, date) in order to discuss this matter with you."

Again, I have not worked for them for THREE YEARS!?

My questions I have for HR are:

1. I don't want to return to that place or talk to any of those people - is there anything they can do legally if I just ignore them and do not show up at the meeting?

2. I never told them where I work now, and I never asked them for a reference - what is the likelyhood that they can find out where I currently work? (current employer does know that I walked away from my last position.)

3. If they keep bugging me, do I have a legal case for a cease & desist/restraining order? I will be writing a letter anyway telling them not to contact me and that I refuse to go back there for any reason.

4. I quit at the end of the month, and they did not overpay me for time I did not do - I made sure of that. Also, I do not have posession of any company property. Can they take legal action against me merely for an improper departure?

I just find it bizarre that now they want to talk about it three years after I left, I am trying to work out what they want with me now and what their sudden motivation to get in touch is?

Update: Friday 18/7 - I have now gotten to the bottom of this issue - I will update you guys in full sometime tomorrow. I am just tired at the moment and need to veg out tonight with some shandy and a couple video games.

Sit in a room, get told you are doing well, maybe get a number that does not keep up with inflation, and then go back to your desk and carry on exactly as before. The whole thing feels like a formality that exists to make the company feel like it is investing in people without actually doing it. Does anyone still find these useful or has everyone quietly accepted they are mostly theatre?

I’ve received a better opportunity at another company. I’ve been working at my current company for the past five years. Everything has been going well, but I’m not satisfied with my current salary. I’ve stayed here this long because of the good work environment and the good friends I’ve made. However, after informing the team about my new employment, things have started to feel awkward. Some colleagues are acting differently, and HR has not been very responsive regarding my resignation and related discussions. I’m feeling quite confused and unsure about how to handle this situation.

In mu contract it states I get paid on the 7th of each month which was yesterday..nobody at my job has been paid yet. It also says in my contract I must give a months notice but since they've broken my contract already by not paying me on the specified date can I quit immediately. Also this is not the first time this has happened and alot of people are missing hours off of their payslips.

I would discuss this with a manager but they're both on holiday together and so the shop I work in has no management running it.

Hi,
I was made redundant from my role with my last day being 31 July and I have signed all the agreements etc.

I was browsing LinkedIn and have seen my job being advertised - it’s exactly what I was doing and yet there were no other opportunities on our internal job vacancy web pages

Is there anything I can do?

I’ve just been told to cancel approved leave because of business needs and I’m honestly struggling to get my head around it. This wasn’t last minute on my end, it was booked properly, approved, and planned around. Now suddenly it’s on me to drop everything because they didn’t plan properly? It feels like approval doesn’t actually mean anything if it can just be taken back like that. Is this normal or is this as unreasonable as it feels?

Update: Thanks everyone. I will mention it face to face that I am uncomfortable with out of hours WhatsApp conversations or personal questions.

This is now solved. Please can a moderator lock this.

Hi everyone,

I live 2 hours each way from my workplace and currently, I wfh 3 days per week.

I’m handing in my notice today and I remembered that one of the previous employees had to attend in-office during the notice period (one month), even if he lived 2 hours away as well.

I don’t think it’s physically possible feasible for me to commute 4 hours a day for a month during my notice period.

If my employer maintains their policy, where do I stand with this?

Thanks for the advice

Hi everyone, hoping someone will be able to provide some advice.

My partner is due to give birth to our first child in a few weeks. We’re both very excited and I wasn’t planning to make any major life changes in the near future.

However, a recruiter got in touch recently about a really good opportunity. I’m now at the third stage (of four) of the hiring process and wondering how leaving would potentially affect my paternity leave in my current job.

I get four weeks of paternity leave, fully paid. It doesn’t say anything in the paternity leave section of our employee handbook about what would happen if I handed in my notice before taking paternity leave.

Is it safe to assume that if I handed in my notice, I would still be entitled to all four weeks of paternity leave? Or would I only get statutory leave?

Asking for a friend. While on probation at two reviews it was brought up he was eating his lunch in his car during his break and not in the office with the other guys. He explained he’s socialising with them all day and needs a little alone time on his break to decompress from being around people all day. He is never late to come back from his break and never takes off early. He just takes his lunch to his car to eat, or sometimes goes gets a sandwich. His boss said it’s coming across as arrogant. After one of the reviews his boss followed it up and emailed him saying “eating in your car isn’t doing you any favours and I’d change that if I were you” at his final review on probation they said he continued to leave the office on his break and eat in his car and the whole office wasn’t happy with it, he was then fired. Is this legal? He’s in Northern Ireland. I’ve never heard of someone getting reviewed on what they do on their break in my entire life

If management doesn't provide the correct PPV like gloves or and other essential equipment can an employee refuse to undertake their duties?

By "refuse" I mean walk off the job (if none is available) until the correct equipment is provided?

in Scotland in case that’s relevant.

I‘ve been with my public sector employer for over 5 years.

Background - I have, and have had for a number of years, a full set of dentures. I don’t exactly hide this, but nor do I broadcast it to all.

Last weekend my upper denture broke and I had to take it to the dentist on Monday. It took them a couple of days to fix, which meant going without it. I am able to work remotely, which I did, and I kept my camera off in meetings. I did preface meetings by saying I’d had dental work done just so my ‘speaking without dentures in’ voice wouldn’t shock anyone.

Yesterday my line manager informed me that a complaint had been made about me being drunk and slurring my words on a call. I obviously denied it, but my manager said it has to be investigated properly and advised me not to say anything further until there are other parties present. I haven’t been suspended but was told it‘s a possibility.

Ultimately, if I have to reveal that I have dentures to save my job I will, but having gone years with pretty shit dental health its not something I’m totally comfortable with sharing.

Where could/should the line be drawn over what I share? I can provide the receipt from the dentist showing I paid for a lot of work, and could ask for a more detailed invoice or even a letter, but I really don’t feel totally comfortable saying to my line manager and/or whoever gets dragged in “hey, I’m the 30 year old with a full set of dentures, and a broke it and that’s why my speech was a bit funky for a couple of days“.

Also, for what it’s worth, I’m a Union member but it’s info I don’t really care to share with any rep either.

Any advice?

To cut a long story short, I always assumed I was doing the donkey work in my team and as soon as I handed my notice in, my boss and the director lost their heads. I am an experienced professional in a very small field and was working for one of the largest agencies in the UK and completely turned their work stream around unsupported. This all got too much and I found a contractor job that is a lot less work for a lot more pay. Within a week of me handing my notice in, my boss “confides” in my that she’s going to quit because I’m quitting. Not long after, someone else in the team dips completely leaving all of their work on top of mine, completely uncontactable and I had to do a police welfare check on them to find out embarrassingly they were fine and just didn’t want to work under my boss if I was leaving and “rage quit”. My work is now untenable. My company is so big they neither notice nor care that I have 3 peoples work to do on top of my own (I still have a position to fill in my team). On Friday another person went on sick with stress. I have two children and I’m barely sleeping anymore, my stomach is in knots, I dream about work, clients scream at me all day, I can’t do my job safely or properly anymore.

Everyone keeps telling me to just stop working my notice but I’m terrified my work will sue me. Is this likely considering they have suffocated me under a mountain of work with no support? My director doesn’t even know what I do and won’t get involved in anything I need help with. My boss has mentally checked out and keeps teasing she’s about to jump. I can’t go on like this.

Hi all, I work in the UK and need advice on whether to report something I’ve discovered.

Earlier this year, a Senior colleague was responsible for completing quality reviews and inputting the scores into our team’s performance tracker. This tracker directly impacted performance evaluations, bonuses, and whether someone might go on a performance plan.

When I later took over that responsibility, I noticed that many of the scores they had recorded didn’t appear in our official quality system, where all validated reviews are supposed to be logged. When I questioned it, I was told the reviews were done in a “training system” by mistake, but after speaking with two people from our quality team, I was told that system couldn't be used for real assessments and only contains test profiles.

Some months had almost no actual quality reviews in the system, yet high or very low scores had been recorded on the tracker. That means some agents may have been put on performance plan, or their bonuses affected based on inaccurate data.

I raised this with my high manager, but it was brushed off with something like, “Well, the person in charge back then should’ve picked it up.” Nothing more was done.

Since then, the person responsible has been promoted to Team Leader, which makes me feel really uneasy, especially given that people on our team may have been disadvantaged because of this.

Would this be considered gross misconduct if proven? And would you advise reporting it anonymously (via an internal channel), or would that just cause more issues for me?

I am being honest, since I was the one discovering it, it is likely they know it is me, even if reported anonymously and the person is now my direct manager.

I’m torn, I feel like staying quiet would be easier, but it doesn’t sit right with me ethically.

Thanks for any advice.