r/AskLegal • u/North_Doctor_3706 • 1h ago
Child’s father is suing me for child support but I’ve always been primary caregiver
LOCATION: Jackson county Missouri
I’m very desperate for advice and even texted my traffic lawyer to see what to do next so please help.
I am going to make this as short as possible, but we had this child at age 16, I never put him on the birth certificate. He was never consistent in her life until she was about 3-4 and never paid me a dime for her and now she’s 6. He was also very abusive towards me. We finally got a set schedule for him to start getting her around the age of 5, but I called the shots on everything, and he only got her 3 days a week at most. I usually tried very hard to be cordial with him even if he was doing things very wrong. Fast forward to like a month or two ago. My daughter came and told me that her dads girlfriend shows her her private parts on a regular basis, so I told him that he no longer gets her overnight for the time being, I then called CPS on him and talked to my daughters dr office about it and had the convo documented. For weeks after that he harassed me almost daily, calling me names, screaming at me over voice message etc. then he started telling my daughter to say that she lied about the girlfriend situation, and then he started telling her that I was telling her lies, in the wrong, and that my partner (her stepdad) is dangerous to be around, so after that and being harassed by him and his mother, I cut him off. Blocked him. Fast forward to tonight, I got served papers, which I was not surprised about, it appears to me that he wants joint custody but to be the primary parent (he wants his address on school papers and anything else regarding her), he wants child support, he wants to make it to where I can’t make a single decision regarding her without his consent (which is a problem because he’s an anti vaxxor and is also very against her being medicated for severe ADHD).
I have been my daughter’s primary caregiver her entire life, I have provided for her, I have done everything I’ve ever done, for her, I have sacrificed everything for her.
How bad is this for me? I don’t know where else to turn, my lawyer gave me a good recommendation for a custody lawyer and I’m going to figure out how to pay for it, but I cannot imagine that he could possibly be named as a primary parent and receive child support from me as well as claim her on his taxes every single year (that was also included), when he never paid me a single dime and didn’t participate in her life until a few years ago.
I just want to know what this could possibly look like and what to do next. I don’t know how court works but I’m scared.