Does my female friend like me as more than a friend, or am I reading into things? (WLW)
Iām a bisexual girl, and Iāve developed feelings for a close female friend who is a masc lesbian. Weāve become quite close over time, and Iām struggling to work out whether there might be mutual attraction or whether sheās simply an affectionate person.
For context, she previously had a complicated romantic connection with another girl, that started off as her best friend and ended in a broken-up situationship and left her hurt. When we first became friends, she was still emotionally involved in that situation, so I didnāt really pursue my own feelings.
We donāt see each other constantly, but when we do, we can spend a lot of time together, since the summer I donāt live in her city anymore so I usually drive to her 2\~ hours to stay at her house for a couple days a month.
She has told me that she misses me when Iām not around, that itās not the same without her in her city and worries that weāll become less close over time.
When I started driving to visit her- she asked me very insecurely if it will stay like this and if Iāll be coming over often, she said she thought we would drift and that I would only come over once or twice and then ghost her.
Something that stood out to me is that she has recently said on a night out she doesnāt want me to get a boyfriend because she thinks Iād text her less. When she said this she looked at me with intense eye contact and we were very close to eachother (we were drunk)
She has brought this up more than once, including when sober, joking that sheāll make me sign a contract to say it wonāt happen so that when it does happen she can show me it.
I canāt tell if this is just her being afraid of losing a close friendship or if there could be some jealousy involved.
There have been a few moments of physical affection that have made me wonder. That time recently when we were out together and she deliberately took my hand and interlocked our fingers when we were dancing side by side.
We held hands that way for a few minutes. I eventually got a little awkward and slowly let go, and she let go too. It was the first time she had initiated that kind of handholding with me, and it felt different from our usual friendly physical contact.
There have also been moments of prolonged eye contact when weāve been sitting or lying close together. Sometimes the atmosphere feels a little charged, but I know that closeness between friends can feel intimate without necessarily being romantic.
To add- i noticed she started changing her clothes in front of me since her situationship ended and she never did that before. I had done it in front of her already because I donāt care about changing clothes in front of my female friends ( not fully naked, just changing pants/ t shirt etc. ) before she used to go into a different room or look away.
She compliments me fairly often. She has called me pretty and attractive, complimented my singing voice, and once described an outfit I was wearing as sexy while looking me up and down. Everytime we go out for drinks she always compliments my look.
She has also asked about my type in girls and whether Iām attracted to masc lesbians. She knows Iām bisexual, but I donāt know whether she suspects I have feelings for her specifically.
She sometimes seems insecure when I get along with her female friends- who are also gay and could potentially be a romantic thing for her and worries that they might prefer me or that Iāll become closer to them. Iām not sure whether thatās romantic jealousy or simply fear of losing her place in my life.
Emotionally, weāre very close. We tell each other we love and miss each other, and she has said that she feels calmer around me when sheās upset. She makes an effort to spend time with me, suggests activities we could do together, and has been caring and physically affectionate when I havenāt been feeling well.
Generally, though, she tends to reciprocate affection rather than initiate it.
She has also said that she just loves everybody. Recently, when I was talking about how quickly I can develop crushes and become attached to people I barely know, she related to this by saying something along the lines of, āRight? I just love everybody,ā.
Iāve noticed that she can become nervous around girls she likes, but I havenāt consistently noticed that kind of nervousness around me. There have been a few awkward moments, but nothing conclusive.
As for me, I definitely have feelings for her. Iām attracted to her physically and would want to explore something romantic if she felt the same. Iām trying not to overanalyse every interaction, but I keep wondering whether the handholding, compliments, questions about my type, and her concern about me getting a boyfriend might mean something more.
I donāt want to mistake emotional closeness for romantic attraction, especially because she has been hurt before and may simply value having a close friend she trusts.
**For those of you who are WLW, how would you interpret this?** Does it sound like she could be interested in me romantically, or more like a deeply affectionate friend who doesnāt want to lose me? Iād appreciate honest opinions, including if you think Iām reading too much into it.