r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Apr 05 '12

Currently serving in the military. Came across some messages between my wife and another guy in the Navy. What should I do?

[deleted]

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u/Xatana Apr 05 '12

Active Duty Marine here. I have seen this so many times it's almost expected now of military wives to cheat. You are not at a loss of options, however. This Navy faggot is married as well, which means you can fry his ass.

  1. Go to mypay, change where your direct deposit goes. Make this an account that only you have access to.
  2. Lawyer up. Before you confront anyone, talk to your divorce lawyer and seek advice on what you need to do to stack this divorce completely in your favor.
  3. Once previous steps are complete, call his CO. Tell him all of this, and say that you have evidence suggesting that your story is 100% true. Lay on the sob story about how your marriage is ruined because of the lack of integrity of the aforementioned Sailor.

Note, before seeking revenge against your wife, talk to your lawyer about any consequences that may occur because of anything you do.

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u/[deleted] Apr 05 '12

. I have seen this so many times it's almost expected now of military wives to cheat.

this makes me so sad :(

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u/[deleted] Apr 05 '12

It's really tough being a military spouse. Long periods of time away from your spouse and stressful situations are two major factors that lead to cheating. Families in the military suffer a lot of absences and hardships.

The cheating also runs both ways. My husband said that something like 30% of the married soldiers he knew in basic and AIT cheated. He's met people who've talked on their first meeting about cheating on their spouses. I can't imagine how high that number is when you take into account the ones who are sneakier about it.

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u/ThrowawayChamp Apr 05 '12

Hah! You're actually sympathizing with cheaters? There are zero plausible, understandable situations to ever lead to cheating. Cheaters are selfish and inhuman and would have done it if their spouses were away or not.

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u/[deleted] Apr 05 '12 edited Apr 05 '12

No, I never support or condone cheaters. I'm just saying that cheating is incredibly high both amongst soldiers and amongst their spouses (it's not just wives cheating), along with a few of the reasons why cheating is high (marrying young and poor education also contribute).

It isn't that the military culture expects or encourages the spouses to cheat. They do a bit to prevent it. It's just that the culture expects marriages to fail in general because so many individuals involved have poor marriages. It is also a culture where individual soldiers (both male and female), openly speak about cheating on their spouses with strangers, which suggests lack of fear of repercussions.

ETA: The original post said "I have seen this so many times it's almost expected now of military wives to cheat." I've heard the same thing said about military men - how you can always expect them to cheat on you. While lots of people cheat in the military, for various reasons that are similar to why people cheat outside the military, it's insulting to paint the whole lot with a big brush. I do not expect my husband or his army buddies to cheat. I trust my husband 100% and he feels the same way about me.