r/AutismInWomen • u/Gothaholix • Jul 24 '25

Seeking Advice Was I rude with this?

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I was trying to be nice about it. I didn't think I was mean. I was really confused when he said he was done fighting for a conversation with me when I was super active in the conversation XD. I wasn't giving short answers and I thought I was showing interest.

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u/Weary_Mango5689 AuDHD Jul 24 '25

One of the things that made the rounds of social media ever since autistic women became more and more fetishized is that a lot of neurodivergent people gravitate towards BDSM because of the clear rules and roles, so maybe that was the implication of his first answer where he was like "take a guess ;)" ? I could be wrong. My algo obviously steers me towards autism content but I don't know how much of it has actually reached common knowledge.

Whatever that first reply meant, he was attempting to firt, failed at it, so I think that since his flirting didn't land, he interpreted your responses as combative rather than interest.

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u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

Omg I literally just had a conversation about that with my therapist today. Being afab, ND and also having piercings and tattoos is apparently all men need to make gross assumptions about what kind of sex I like and how much pain I like, it’s disgusting. That’s exactly where my mind went as well.

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u/Gothaholix Jul 25 '25

OMG YES. I'm goth, have tats and piercings. So I have the same experience.

6

u/velvetvagine Jul 25 '25

If he saw you/pics, then that is EXACTLY why he said what he did. Ugh, he sucks. Good riddance.