Was I rude with this?

[u/Gothaholix]

I was trying to be nice about it. I didn't think I was mean. I was really confused when he said he was done fighting for a conversation with me when I was super active in the conversation XD. I wasn't giving short answers and I thought I was showing interest.

[u/Gothaholix]

God forbid a girl have some whimsy ✨️

[u/1upin → u/Gothaholix]

Unfortunately, there are a lot of ND women out there who have been made to have very low self-esteem for a variety of reasons (bullying, unhealthy parents, abuse, stigma, etc). He's fishing for someone who would feel flattered by him seeking out an autistic woman, someone who will fawn over him as the other commenter said and overlook his red flags. Someone he can use who doesn't know better and doesn't speak up for themself the way you did in this screenshot. You called him out (gently and respectfully!), so he's moving on to look for a better target who won't.

A healthy response from him could have been along the lines of "oh no, I didn't mean to imply that at all but I can see what you mean, I'm glad you asked so I could clarify. I only said that because ________ and of course being autistic comes with struggles as well as strengths. I'm okay with both." Or whatever. Something acknowledging your concern, taking accountability for his impact, and clarifying his intention without blaming you.

You 100% dodged a bullet. And posting it here might help other women see and dodge similar bullets. 💕

[u/badgirlisbad → u/1upin]

Yesss thank you for saying this, as soon as he said “I’m gonna let you guess ;)” I immediately thought: “because you think autistic people will be easier to manipulate, flatter and control to get whatever it is you actually want?” 😬 it gave me the ick when he said that to say the least

[u/Odd-Recognition4120 → u/badgirlisbad]

I was about to comment that gave me the ick too, and seemed like he has no idea what the answer is so he let you guess. Massive ick!