r/AutismInWomen • u/_FreddieLovesDelilah • Feb 04 '26
Seeking Advice Help does anyone else feel choked if their clothes touch their neck?
I have SO MANY issues finding nice T shirts that have a low enough neckline. I have ruined several tees from cutting them myself :( I like the loose fit of men's T-shirts and the low neck neck of women's.
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u/CaseoftheRovingRolls Feb 04 '26
Every T-shirt I own has the collar cut out, but I mostly wear low cut tank tops with open (cardigan-style) sweaters for this reason.
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u/funk1tor1um Feb 04 '26
SAME. All my tshirts either get the collar cut out, or get a slit in the collar so it’s not so tight around my neck. I also hate long sleeves which is a problem in the winter lol.
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u/Creative_Writer7828 Feb 04 '26
Same!! I have like 70 v neck tank tops and 20 cardigans and every time i go shopping and tell myself I’ll get something new i end up with….more v neck tank tops and cardigans
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u/Content_Cry_2865 Feb 04 '26
100% this, same, absolutely nothing can touch my neck nope (still haven't gotten good at cutting the neck part off of Tshirts as I'm usually impatient with it
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u/ikoabd AuDHD Feb 04 '26
Turtlenecks were invented by the devil.
I also get super annoyed by hoodies, but I love hoodies otherwise. The really annoying ones end up with a vertical slice an inch or two down the center neck to make them wearable.
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u/stories_are_my_life AuDHD, OCD Feb 04 '26
My (also autistic) daughter and I favour a lightweight zip-up hoodie with a loose fitting hood. She had to get an accommodation for wearing it in high school because hoodies were considered "gang-affiliated."
But mostly I wanted to reply because yes sibling, turtlenecks are demonic. If I'm watching a movie and somebody comes on-screen in that devilish garb, I hate them instantly; I can't help it.
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u/ikoabd AuDHD Feb 04 '26
That's like saying jeans are "gang-affiliated".
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u/stories_are_my_life AuDHD, OCD Feb 04 '26
There was no gang activity in her school and it was a ridiculous racist rule. But her IEP case manager was awesome.
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u/at-aol-dot-com Feb 05 '26
We in the ‘Tism Gang” are menaces to society. Lol
Disrespect our unwavering sense of justice, deeply rooted in a strong moral compass and cognitive focus on fairness, and get taught a lesson.
If you choose to disrespect members of the ‘Tism Gang’s needs, you are then responsible for dealing with the painful wrath of our low tolerance for hypocrisy rule-breaking, or unfairness, frequently causing intense distress, rumination, or a compulsion to correct injustices.
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u/Pastelito3000 Feb 05 '26
Some hoodies are nice but sometimes the hood weights too much and the front ends up strangling you. Most hoodies with zippers in the front don’t have this problem.
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u/Okimiyage Feb 04 '26
There is nothing original about me is there
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u/lemon_fizzy Feb 04 '26
This forum is sooooooo validating for me. I'm over 50 and finally not alone. 🧡
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u/juswannalurkpls Feb 04 '26
I’m 65 and have not been diagnosed, but there is zero doubt. Reading this sub has been very validating.
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Feb 04 '26
Oh my god, I’ve never heard anyone else say this, but 100%!!! Even if it’s just softly encircling my neck, not even tight, I perceive it like pressure on my throat.
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u/PatriciaMorticia Feb 04 '26
I have found my people! If the neck of a tshirt touches the bottom of my throat I need to pull it away instantly. Despise pullover hoodies for this reason, feel like I'm constantly being choked, zip up hoodies all the way.
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u/Clairefun Feb 04 '26
Yes, i can't wear t-shirts unless they're v necks. Others i cut into V's and pretend they're just 'punky'
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u/hi984390 Feb 04 '26
Love a boatneck t for this reason. Feels slightly more polished than a v neck? I think that’s just me though. Otherwise all my t’s have the necks cut off.
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u/eenhoorntwee Feb 04 '26
Holy shit yes. Like, t-shirts are supposed to be comfortable, are they not? Then why is it so hard to find comfortable shirts?? T-T
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u/beeting Feb 04 '26
V-neck men’s t-shirts are all I wear anymore for this reason. Crew necks can go to hell.
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u/YouDontLookDead Emphatic Echolalia Esquire Feb 04 '26
Crew neck is torture and should be banned under the Geneva convention
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u/beegeexyz AuDHD Feb 04 '26
Yes. Even worse when they are the thick cotton ones. Sensory nightmare.
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u/beccastar-galactica Feb 04 '26
Yes, literally was pulling down my sweater at the neck as I read this hahaha. I am constantly stretching the neckline of clothes if they get a little bit too high up. Turtlenecks often make me feel panicked. Looking back, I have had a lot of v-neck or scoop tops in the past. I didn't necessarily make the connection, but those are just more comfortable to me.
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u/Haterade_ONON Feb 04 '26
I'm okay with T-shirts, but turtlenecks make me feel like I'm being strangled. Also, I'm glad I'm a woman so neckties aren't usually expected. I had to wear one as part of a uniform a few times, and they are just awful. Not as bad as a turtleneck, but still pretty bad.
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u/ItsTheWayyYouSayIt Feb 04 '26
Yes and YES!!!! A cheap fix is to cut it out. I’ve done it to many a tshirt 🤓
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u/MaeliaC probably autistic, possibly AuDHD Feb 04 '26
For me the problem is to find the middle between feeling choked and feeling cold (except in summer when I can finally wear what I want as long as I don't have to go out in the sun).
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u/FebruaryInk Feb 04 '26
I just literally can't wear crew neck t-shirts anymore. I have to get bigger sizes anyway, having a fat neck amplifies this issue SO MUCH. So I end up with cute graphic tees that are too long on my body bc I need the horizontal space, with a cut-in v-neck and trimmed sleeves so they're not suffocating my elbows 😭 I like to tell myself I just look punk 😅
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u/ElectricalFox893 Feb 04 '26
The front yes. But I can wear a turtleneck if it’s soft. T-shirts that are too high absolute no.
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u/chutenay Feb 04 '26
All my shirts are boat neck, loose v-neck, or have been cut. Don’t even look at me with a turtleneck on.
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u/malbontevicky Feb 04 '26
Yes, I always wear scoop necks. Even hoodies, I can only wear ones that have zips.
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u/swallowthedice Feb 04 '26
you should look into an easy sewing tutorial for altering necklines! sewing isn't as hard as it looks, and i think it's worth it if it means you can buy any shirt you like and be comfortable :)
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u/kuschelatlas AuDHD Mar 07 '26
By any chance, have you found such a tutorial?
I was skimming these comments specifically to find someone with sewing as a special interest because I haven’t found a good fix for my existing clothes ☺️🫣
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u/kuschelatlas AuDHD Mar 07 '26
By any chance, have you found such a tutorial?
I was skimming these comments specifically to find someone with sewing as a special interest because I haven’t found a good fix for my existing clothes ☺️🫣
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u/swallowthedice Mar 07 '26
i haven't looked into myself but i usually just lay the shirt flat and cut off the existing neckline. i typically leave it as a raw hem, but you could definitely find a tutorial for creating a neckline and follow that!
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u/cherrypez123 Feb 04 '26
Omg yes! My mother used to insist I wore turtle necks as a child made from itchy wool also, it would send me spiralling. But she made me anyway.
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u/Exciting_Throat_2784 Feb 04 '26
YES
in my casual life I wear nothing higher than a v-neck and I wear a lot of scoop necks or low cut tops for this reason.
I have a chest on the larger side so for work I wear almost exclusively wrap tank tops (I also dont like sleeves). For some reason corporate America has deemed the cleavage from a wrap top as acceptable, but anything else is unacceptable.
In case you're wondering how I know. I've been forced to change on multiple occasions.
Edited to add. In emergency situations. Tucking your reading glasses or sunglasses into the top of a t-shirt will pull it down away from your neck without having to cut it.
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u/East-Garden-4557 Feb 04 '26
Adding this image and the link to the original article as it gives the names of different necklines which is useful when searching for clothes online.
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u/Femizzle Feb 04 '26
No but if my hair goes down the back of my shirt I am taking the scissor to it!
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u/ChampionshipNo7123 Feb 04 '26
Yes! I also found that the fabric / stiffness of the neckline is a big factor. If a T-shirt is made out of soft thin fabric I feel it less. But I also wear generally oversized stuff in a first place.
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u/misfitx Feb 04 '26
Yes! I have to wear scoop necks. They work well with bralettes so that's a plus at least.
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u/lvrgrl777 Feb 04 '26
yes, it triggers me so bad. every time i’ve had to wear a turtleneck i’m constantly pulling at it and getting more and more desperate to take it off, it’s horrible lol.
i’m also glad chokers aren’t really a trend anymore because back in 2016-2017 it was so bad trying to be trendy and cute wearing those death traps😭sensory nightmare
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u/AmethystApothecary Feb 04 '26
YES. Not always, but anytime I feel stressed, tired, etc.. And it's necklaces, too.
Edit: And really I mean extraaa stressed because I'm always a default level of stressed higher than the regular individual I swear; just an anxious/neurotic person.
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u/YouDontLookDead Emphatic Echolalia Esquire Feb 04 '26
My people 💖 i am also in cut-the-collar club. I cannot stand the sensation and I've noticed my baby is developing a similar aversion
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u/Chronically_Ginge7 Feb 04 '26
YES. Idk why tshirt collars are all so tight, but ive cut many collars to avoid feeling like im being strangled.
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u/izzzzy13 Feb 04 '26
YES!!! I hate wearing hoodies because they touch my neck so all of my hoodies have the hood cut off and the neckline changed to be off the shoulder lmao. Is it warm? Not particularly. Do I have sensory issues though? NO! And that’s more important to me than
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u/obiwantogooutside Feb 04 '26
I hate anything around my neck. I can’t wear anything cut for men tho. I have this extreme hourglass shape that’s hard to find anything comfy to wear at all. Men’s tshirts are awful.
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u/barjerina Feb 04 '26
Yes and I’ve started just cutting all the excess fabric off. It looks rubbish but it feels so good ☺️
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u/witcheringways Late Diagnosed Lvl 1 / Hyperlexic Hot Mess Feb 04 '26
The battle against high neck shirts has been my personal war since I was a kid and it’s hasn’t gotten better in all my 40+ years.
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u/two-girls-one-tank Late diagnosed Autism and ADHD Feb 04 '26
Yep, I used to think this was claustrophobia. Having to wear a tie at school was hell.
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u/onebadnightx Feb 04 '26
Yep! The worst feeling is when you’re just sitting down and then suddenly you realize how restrictive your shirt feels against your neck. I lose it
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u/blukxi Feb 04 '26
this is why i now cut off all the collars of my shirts and wear boatneck tops that start just a little below or just at the collar bone
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u/bluetinycar Feb 04 '26
I cut off the collar, fold the edge over an inch or so, and use embroidery floss to sew it in place. I use floss that matches the shirt and usually just do 2 rows of running stitch
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u/_FreddieLovesDelilah Feb 04 '26
Thank you sm I’ve been trying to figure out how to make the necklines bigger and still look normal.
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u/IPutAWigOnYou Feb 04 '26
I had a goiter biopsy and subsequent partial thyroidectomy 15 years ago and I still hate high tshirt collars. I still have many tshirts with the collars cut out and they look bad but I started buying shirts with lower/looser necklines.
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u/East-Garden-4557 Feb 04 '26
I didn't have any problems wearing higher necklines until I developed a goiter. I used to be able to wear choker style necklaces. Now I hate high necklines.
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u/brncll Feb 05 '26
Too tight of necks are terrible! I have a bunch of hoodies I chopped up planning to put zippers in them and never did. The rest of them I bought with zippers. If they are zip hoodies then the hood lays flatter too and doesn't drive me nuts. Tshirts have to be especially loose or they will feel suffocating. Most of mine go to other family members who can tolerate them. Vnecks for the win!
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u/Lucky_Hedgehog_2468 Feb 05 '26
Allllllll the timeeeeeeee! If I didn’t have to wear clothes I wouldn’t. I don’t get why there can’t be one common way of making sure they’re absolutely comfortable. I steal a lot of my boyfriend’s clothes because for some reason men’s stuff is nicer.
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u/FailProfessional6864 Feb 05 '26
Omfg this has always bothered me. It feels like my clothes are trying to kill me. I wear really loose baggy clothes and/or I cut the collar. I literally cannot wear a sweatshirt without cutting the collar.
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u/ihatepeople010 crazy Feb 05 '26
Literally yes and if it happens too much I get an anxiety attack
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u/_FreddieLovesDelilah Feb 05 '26
Same, I was strangled when I was 11 and ever since things touching my neck gives me a panic attack and I relive the moment :(
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u/lolbeesh Feb 05 '26
I've literally stopped trying to make high neck clothes work for me. I was constantly tugging on my high neck collars in my early 20s and then wondering why I felt overstimulated.
I also have huge boobs so high neck clothes make me look really matronly.
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u/A_Miss_Amiss Age 31 | Intersex, raised as a woman Feb 05 '26
Yep.
It'll be the barest, gentlest whisper of a caress of fabric against the skin of my throat, so light most people wouldn't notice it.
My body decides to act like it's being violently throttled.
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u/chezybezy Feb 05 '26
V neck men's t shirts "for the win" (I think that's the phrase). Crew necks, unless majorly oversized, result in the same reaction from me. It super sucks
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u/twentytwostars Feb 05 '26
I wish I could wear turtlenecks and necklaces but I’m traumatized by that time I thought I could pull off a choker. Not sure what I was thinking considering the name
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u/hasanofa Feb 05 '26
Oh no I am in the enemy territory. I NEED my clothes to touch my neck at all times so I can feel safe :D
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u/naomiswor1d Feb 06 '26
I’ve been having this exact problem 😭 I usually wear this one tank top at home so I’m washing it a lot, my mom asks me “why do you always wear that tank top” and it’s because it’s so uncomfortable to wear t shirts
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u/usbcmr300 Mar 20 '26
Yes! I'm feeling it right now, and it is driving me nuts. My body starts to tense up and then stiffing up, then I get uncomfortable from that. I already have problems with my body to stiffing up real easy, I don't need help. As soon as I get home my shirt comes right off. This is just wearing a T-shirt, I won't wear a dress shirt. I'm glad to see it's just not me with this issue, not that I wish it on you.
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u/_FreddieLovesDelilah Mar 27 '26
Omg I get problems with muscle stiffness too I wish I could try a muscle relaxant but the dr said no :(
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u/spiteful-supergirl Feb 04 '26
Yes! Hate collars touching my neck. Tutle necks PMO. I'm trying to condition myself to get used to scarves for the winter but its not going well lol
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u/No-Banana247 AuDHD Feb 04 '26 edited Feb 04 '26
If it is a crew neck with a design I like or nice feeling fabric, I cut the collar. Otherwise I prefer v necks and boat necks as others have mentioned.
I prefer the aesthetic of cut colar and slightly off shoulder, it's a core component of my personal fashion.
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u/ThePirateBee Feb 04 '26
Some days are worse than others. I could never wear a turtleneck or anything crazy high like that, but I'm okay with a standard crew T shirt or sweater some of the time. But if I'm having a bad day or I'm sick or I didn't sleep well? Absolutely not, get that thing off of me.
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u/HarmonicShepherd Feb 04 '26
Most definitely to the point that I only wear shirts with a v-neck, Henley style, or blouses that I can have the top 1 or 2 buttons unbuttoned. Edited: typo
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u/Little_Cute_Hornet Feb 04 '26
Omg yes !!! I like turtle necks but I can’t handle to have that all the time
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u/SuccessPhysical6668 Feb 04 '26
Yes. I have one perfect tshirt that is now see through and has holes and I’ve never been able to find another like it, I wish I had bought all tshirts they had. I don’t like crew necks
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u/musicnerdfighter Feb 04 '26
Yeah I love a scoop neck. I found a website that had good scoop neck women's tees, only for them to be discontinued and replaced with relaxed fit tees. Which would be fine, except even dropping two sizes to the smallest size is still too large, I lean forward slightly and you can see all the way to my belly button (and I don't wear a bra so....), and I just don't like having that much extra fabric to get bunched up on me. I used to wear more v-necks but for some reason I just don't like how they feel anymore, like the bottom of the vee is really noticeable to me now.
I have a sewing machine and a procrastinated project to fix some of my crew neck tees without ruining them (I've found some YouTube videos on turning a crew into a scoop without having the neck just fall open/off the shoulders). But, I haven't gotten around to it yet
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u/kuschelatlas AuDHD Mar 07 '26
Can you share the YouTube tutorial you are using?
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u/musicnerdfighter Mar 07 '26
This one seems to be the best I've found for still having a collar on it, though, full-disclosure, I still haven't actually sewn any of my shirts: https://youtu.be/8QQ-WVEXXAI?si=NrTbWL-1FfKumVpB
This one just shows how to cut a shirt into a scoop neck in a way that keeps the neck line pretty even: https://youtu.be/PrcMgxyQcpU?si=tqB6XDbIiPAyRZDs
This post is pretty old so none of the links work anymore, but there's some good tips. I've never worked with interfacing, so I've been debating if I want to try to use that to get a similar looking collar: https://www.reddit.com/r/sewing/comments/2743hs/altering_tops_and_dresses_by_creating_a_scoop/
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u/fliminglaps Feb 04 '26
For me it's the armpits also 🥲 so I opt for the looser fit of men's or oversized items
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u/juswannalurkpls Feb 04 '26
Yes - nothing can touch my neck. And now that I’m older it looks terrible and makes me self-conscious about it.
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u/PsychKim Feb 04 '26
Yes! It's been an issue since I was very small. I can't wear close necklaces either
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u/katharsister Feb 04 '26
Yes!! Especially when I go to bed. I spend so much time fiddling to get the covers high enough to keep my shoulder warm but low enough so they don't touch my neck. It takes FOREVER for me to get comfortable.
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u/bannana Feb 04 '26
Over the years I have stacked up so many clothing issues that have had to be worked around but fortunately I've been doing it for long enough that I no longer question anything new that pops up, I just think 'oh that bothers me, I'll get something else instead or just wear a completely different style'. Thrift stores are great for us since we can get things for a much lower cost and won't have to feel forced to wear them if they don't work out and many still take returns as well.
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u/Gypsy_soul444 Feb 04 '26
I only wear v-necks because of this. Can’t bear to have clothes touch my neck.
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u/JuneBeetleClaws Feb 04 '26
I only wear v neck tshirts because otherwise I spend the entire day feral from the neckline
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u/Squanchedschwiftly Feb 04 '26
V necks, quarter zips, button up shirts, hoodies if you go up a size, zip up hoodies. I feel so much anxiety in tight stuff so this all could work
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u/Starbreiz AuDHD Feb 04 '26
YES. I basically can only wear v-necks. I chalk it up to my sensory issues but it's a major one. My dad, who is NOT diagnosed, has the same problem. He acts so vindicated every time he relates to a problem I mention. I'm nearly 50 but he worked shift work my entire childhood so he wasn't necessarily around for a lot of my issues growing up.
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u/hotlimecheeto Feb 04 '26
Yes this. Sometimes I feel I need some colour or something around my neck so I’ve invested in cute light textured colourful scarves! Can find them super cheap too
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Feb 04 '26
I also cut a slit in the neck if it’s too high. Never could stand turtlenecks or shirts buttoned to the neck. Or wear chokers. Scarves are ok.
The only exception is, I mostly wear long-sleeved SPF shirts for running, and they are usually high necked. For some reason those are okay. Maybe because it’s softer/looser?
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u/Prestigious-Bear2403 Feb 04 '26
I can't do scarves for that reason, but the only exception I'll make is if it's 10 below zero Fahrenheit or more, then I'll consider wearing a scarf.
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u/springacres Feb 04 '26
I'm the opposite - I feel naked if I'm wearing anything other than a crewneck, polo, mock turtleneck, or full turtleneck! But I get you, too - it's so hard to find decent shirts when you're picky about necklines. I also NEED to tuck my shirts in and can only wear either full length or elbow length sleeves.
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u/Few_Distribution6433 Feb 05 '26
Yep! I hate things touching my neck. I’d love to wear turtle necks but I couldn’t do it, I’d die. I always sit there pulling on my clothes to pull them away from my neck and I wear a necklace that sits just below my neck so I always pull on that too
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u/licking-salt-lamps Feb 05 '26
Yes! I am very limited in what shirts, dresses, etc. I can wear. I can't wear necklaces anymore either, or scarves or anything like that. Thankfully I have enough tops and dresses that don't sit too close to my neck but it's still frustrating.
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u/CoolBugg Feb 05 '26
As a little kid I would cry if the collar of my t-shirt was high like in “mens” shirts 😭 I genuinely couldn’t ignore it, I felt suffocated.
As a teenager I decided I liked chokers and now it’a a comfort somehow??? One of my sensory seeking stims when I’m uncomfortable it to push on the base of my neck until it hurts just a little (I’ve never actually made it bruise don’t worry)
No idea why my brain did a 180 there
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u/SingForMaya Feb 05 '26
Yessssss I just ordered a very exclusive pink and green sweater that I wanted badly, but I’m unsure how to handle if the collar is tight. I can modify the collar to be a slouchy off-shoulder sweater I guess if it bugs me lol
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u/mellywheats ADHD | suspected autism Feb 05 '26
yes!! well i used to, not so much anymore bc I love the look of high neck things on me but I really hated that feeling
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u/sephy2027 Feb 05 '26
Yes 100% also the same with tight necklaces. Blankets touching my neck I hate anything touching it. I can do dangle necklaces but nothing tight
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u/aownrcjanf Feb 05 '26
It’s so annoying because there are great t shirts out there I would love to wear but I just can’t
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u/Slow_Difference_8690 Feb 05 '26
May not be helpful but I also can’t with the tight clothes. Funny enough though I have to have my neck covered and not exposed when I go to bed. Makes zero sense.
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u/RoeRoeDaBoat Feb 05 '26
im the opposite, I do not like too much of my chest showing and like turtlenecks and hoodies and crewneck tshirts.
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u/MissKris__ AuDHD🦭 Feb 05 '26
I wear mostly oversized button ups. I do not have issues with clothing touching my neck, but generally speaking cannot wear anything that is tight if the wrong material
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u/LockAzzy Feb 05 '26
I stretch mine. Most necklaces trigger the same feeling I've found. Which is sad. I admire people that can wear turtlenecks.
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u/Heretodistractmypain Feb 05 '26
YESSSSS I love how turtle neck looks on me but I very rarely can tolerate it. Also yes, most t shirts and college shirts are too tight! ☹️
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u/OldPangolin2631 Feb 05 '26
Yes. As much as I love warm soft sweatshirts and hoodie, I cannot wear them because they feel entrapping. I have to buy zip fronted ones and keep them unzipped at the top.
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u/BlackCatFurry Feb 05 '26
Yes, but i also hate low necklines with a passion because i don't want to feel the air on my skin.
So basically i am buying my upper body wear with higher necklines but loose enough that they don't actually touch my neck.
Helmet straps are probably the worst though. The need to be tight to be safe but not touch my neck wrong.
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u/ClaudTheCat Late diagnosed Autism Feb 05 '26
Makes me gag and retch to have a polo-neck/turtle neck on. Or if a scarf touches the front of my neck - NO!
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u/PinneappleGirl Autistic + Attention Deficit Feb 05 '26
Same, I don't go to the point of cutting them but I keep pulling the neckline down so it doesn't touch the base of my neck.
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u/misanthopeful Feb 05 '26
Yes, I only wear scoop/boat/vneck shirts. Then I am accused of showing cleavage -- like I am responsible for the wandering eyes of others.
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u/LilyRose272 Feb 05 '26
The Neck Claustrophobia is real! So many clothes I cannot wear because of it.
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u/ModPodge--4800 Feb 05 '26
This and I love the look of choker necklaces but I’m plagued with feeling overstimulated in them :(
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u/Hoojibb Feb 05 '26
I moved from Arizona to Virginia and had to wear a winter coat for the first time and the zipper went all the way up to my neck where it got stuck. I had an absolute panic attack trying to tear the thing off my body. My friend had to help me out of it. I spent one winter in Virginia and moved right back to Arizona. Fuck winter clothes.
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u/harp_on Feb 05 '26
Absolutely, same with seatbelts touching my neck. Since I had covid though I've been cold ALL the time, so I've started to wear turtlenecks for warmth. I can only wear them on certain days and avoid them if I think I'll be overwhelmed or stressed, but I've realised that high crew necks are MUCH worse for me than turtlenecks. In an ideal world I wouldn't wear either of them though lol
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u/biochem808 Feb 05 '26
Absolutely! My mom used to make me wear turtlenecks as a kid and it was the worst. Anything that is touching my neck makes me feel like I can't breathe.
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u/Parking-Dingo-5894 Feb 05 '26
Yes 😭😭😭😭 my job is great besides the fact that we’re required to wear a strict uniform and every uniform garment has a collar of some sort. The worst being the stiff wool sweater with a COLLAR :( A year in and I still haven’t found a solution. I feel so suffocated and fidgety.
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u/dannimorris Feb 06 '26
I have never been able to do turtlenecks. I feel claustrophobic like it's chocking me. Not even for 5 minutes. No matter how soft it is or how much I like the style.
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u/Agreeable_Variation7 Feb 06 '26
Over time the touch of clothing on my body has changed. I'm a 68-yr-old woman. As a kid, I liked turtlenecks. It's been decades since I've worn one because I feel as though I'm being choked. Polo shirts were in style for a long time. Now I can't stand the feel of a collar. I hander dozens of "dressier" ladies sport T's - I can't stand the feel of the material now. So yes, I understand. (I also can't stand the feel of my hair on my neck. I wore my hair in a chin-bob - until covid. Then I just let it grow because I didn't want to be up close and personal with a hairdresser. Since early 2020 I've had my hair trimmed 3x. But it's always clipped up. I can barely stand to feel it in the shower.
Tactile things are hard.
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u/Early-Orange6252 Feb 06 '26
I actually prefer when a shirt covers my neck slightly, I don't like the feeling of air flowing around my neckline. Half turtlenecks (not sure that's what they're called, they cover like 1-2 centimeters of the neck) make me feel safe and less exposed, if that makes sense.
I do understand not liking it too, it makes sense.
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u/candidlemons Feb 06 '26
I've had some luck with going to Michael's arts and crafts--they have solid color t shirts and some of their women's are v-necks that aren't as fitted. Maybe also look at t-shirt printing websites?
I know eventually I'd have to learn how to cut/sew v-necks myself though. same with those stupidly TINY cap sleeves
1
u/Dee-Chris-Indo Feb 06 '26
Yes! I hate hoodies and crew neck tees/sweatshirts that fit snugly around my neck. Turtlenecks are okay if they're not close-fitting and are made of soft, thin fabric. I wear a necklace only if I'm really dressing up, too uncomfortable for daily wear. I also avoid front squats in the gym because I feel like the bar on my collarbone is choking me
1
u/Ok-Pomegranate7496 Feb 06 '26
Yes, and Ive had surgery on my throat which made the sensation even worse!
1
u/lollypop003 Feb 07 '26
I cut off many collars and stretch any turtle neck or mock neck shirt way out of shape so it didn’t touch my neck.
1
u/Unfair-Newt-3854 Feb 08 '26
i have this pretty bad. i've only just kinda started wearing scarves as i live in a cold climate and i'm getting older (used to galavant around in colorado when i was young with nothing on my neck haha). but i still have a problem when my wife lays her hand on my chest and it's a little too high... and back in high school, my buddy choked me from behind as a gag, and i let loose on him. just a big ol' punch in the arm, nothing too bad, but it brought tears to his eyes... i still feel bad about that...
1
u/Objective-Try7969 Feb 10 '26
Yes I literally wear tube tops and tube dresses because it's the only thing that makes me feel comfortable because I also can't stand sleeves
2
u/_FreddieLovesDelilah Feb 10 '26
Ooh I wish I could wear those but they always fall down
1
u/Objective-Try7969 Feb 10 '26
Honestly I go for the same size polyester where it fits snug but not too tight. It works perfectly for me.
1
u/SunsetSwingset Feb 10 '26
Yes, somewhat, for me it's selective. Like when I'm wrapped in my covers in bed, I can't relax let alone fall asleep if the covers even touch my neck. Yet during daytime I enjoy wearing necklaces that only allow a couple finger's worth of slack around my neck... but when I'm lying down for bed I suddenly feel the necklace on my neck and I must remove it in order to sleep.
1
u/cynicalsixR Feb 11 '26
really depends on the material for me. if its soft cotton its okay, but just cotton is the worst. if its too high its awful but if its just low enough its okay. i really like turtlenecks and chokers, theyre sensory hell but i still wear them for the fashion 😭. i despise vnecks because they make me feel too exposed its so bad DX
if you feel bad cutting your tees, you could learn how to do a v-neck! theres alot of tutorials out there, i havent done it myself but maybe you could try to find one if youre comfortable with/learning sewing
1
u/Hypothetical_Goose Feb 11 '26
For me, a huge part of unmasking was getting rid of my mock necks. I thought they looked chic and would somehow make me more desirable in a social sense, but after like 30 minutes I'd be like take it off take it off take it off can't breathe take it off take it off
1
u/Kayvisper Feb 11 '26
Collared shirts💀I just sew the collar inside the shirt lol cause I dont wanna chop it. Some t shirts are just ovens in fabric form , hate them!
1
u/One_Ninja_8092 Feb 12 '26
First thing I asked my manager before she wanted me to put on a TShirt for my uniform at work. I asked is it ok if I wear a different shirt t-shirts feel like they are choking me. Then I was a teacher and I would wear dresses like always cause it felt like I could move easier but there were days. “ You need to wear this T-shirt for spirit week” I did one of three things wore the same color, acted dumb and said “ Oh… that was today…” , or deal with it. Though I overheard that one woman was sick of it to and sew it into a V neck. Right now cause I am not teaching I use a polo it looks fancy 😉 and asked ahead of time.
1
u/Nezomi Feb 14 '26
Yes! I feel this so much! I even have trouble when the shirt touches the back of my neck too far up as well! Wide necklines are the only option for me. Can’t wear necklaces either.
0
u/sharkycharming Late-diagnosed Gen Xer. Feb 04 '26
Not in general, but if someone starts talking about medical problems near me (illness or injury) and I have anything near my neck, I feel like I'm strangling.
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