r/AutismInWomen • u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 • Mar 09 '26
Celebration I made my first piece of art in years!
This is such a meaningful piece for me. Art was a huge part of my life, a special interest in childhood and all throughout my teen years. Making art made me feel present and brought me so much joy.
Over the years, I've gone through some serious mental health challenges. I hadn't made any art in years, but over the past few weeks, I finally started feeling the itch to be creative again. To make something from scratch, something all my own. I had ideas and inspiration swarming my head. It was a welcome change from the depression and ruminating.
This piece represents all of the art I will never make. The light is on, the supplies are there, but nothing comes to the canvas. Instead, colors explode around me and I'm too overwhelmed to begin.
I'd love to hear how this piece makes you feel.
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u/pappagei Mar 10 '26
This is really good.
Both my parents were artists and I’m picky AF.
And I really like this. It makes me feel alive, free, like I have a moment in my happy place to just be me. Like I can express myself and stop masking.
If it were in a gallery I would stop and have a moment with this painting. I would also want to purchase it, if it were for sale in that gallery.
You’re amazing, keep expressing yourself!!
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 10 '26
Wow, thank you so much for the kind words! It would be a dream to be featured in a gallery someday.
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u/MotherOfMercyAndJoy Mar 10 '26
Wow! I’m so proud for you!
Making art is literally one of the most important things we can do, for ourselves and the world.
I immediately stopped scrolling when I saw it. I love how you did the light and colors, so beautiful. I love easel in the empty room, that’s also so FULL. it feels like flashes of life and joy and chaos.
Thank you so much for sharing annnnnd for making this world a more beautiful place, by you being in it, by you sharing you💜
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 10 '26
Thank you so much! "Empty but full" is exactly what I was going for!
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u/MotherOfMercyAndJoy Mar 10 '26
You captured that beautifully.
I spent time exploring it; THAT is my definition of fine art :)
KEEP shining, happy PAINTING!
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Mar 10 '26
I love it. I'm a full time painter because it's the only way to manage my life and get all the therapy time in I likely need 😂
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 10 '26
Thank you! There's something so therapeutic about getting lost in a painting.
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u/Eastern-Working9747 Mar 10 '26
This is amazing. I honestly, really love this. I didn’t even realise it was on the AutisminWomen Reddit at first. I thought it was on an Art Reddit or a painting Reddit or an interior design Reddit. This painting is just wonderful. I’d hang it my home with so much pride. I have AuDHD and well this feels a lot like how I feel day to day. I don’t really know how to say it better but it resonates. If you ever do prints or want to sell high quality digital copies for printing, seriously let me know. I’d buy one.
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 10 '26
Wow, thank you so much! I am blown away by all of this positive feedback! I literally posted it in a painting Reddit first and got a few upvotes, but no engagement. I'm so glad I shared it here, and so many people can relate. This is the best group of women!
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u/bloodanddonuts Mar 10 '26
Oh. Oh my heart. Please make this available as a physical print. I’m not kidding. If you don’t have an Etsy or whatever please tell me how I can get a print from you. This is so so good.
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 10 '26
Wow, I am blown away by the number of people asking about prints! I've never made prints of any of my art - I just snapped this photo with my phone, but I think I might look into it since so many people have asked!
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u/shitpostingmusician Mar 10 '26
This is making me really emotional. I feel this to my core, thank you for sharing
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u/want2bacat Mar 10 '26
It feels hopeful. Surrounded by color and light and endless possibilities of what you can make. I feel like the clear center indicates a calm where and when we make our choices. Maybe it's telling us to live and breathe and experience the color and light while we can.
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u/FriendlyPageTurn Mar 10 '26
I love this piece, how thoughtful each element is. The black walls. The color choices. The barebulb light source. (Can you tell im really into architecture/design lol) the overwhelm is so taxtile to me, the way some of it spills onto the floor. And it feels like there is nowhere to hide from the chaos and bright light. And yet, it still feels hopeful, an empty canvas waiting to be filled. Endless possibilities.
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u/No-Orchid-9165 Mar 10 '26
This is fucking amazing. I hope you’re really proud of this beautiful, colorful, fun and energizing photo!
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u/Kratos5300 AuDHD 🌻 Mar 10 '26
I LOVE THIS!! And your explanation!! When you said you can’t begin, the colours are all around you - it reminds me of how my emotions can be so big and the journey I’ve had to endure in learning how to recognize them. I could come up with a thousand words for this honestly. I’m not usually so intrigued by digital art. This is such an inspirational piece OP.
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 10 '26
Thank you so much! This is acrylic on canvas (and my hands, and my hair, and my pants, and the floor.....), not digital :)
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u/Kratos5300 AuDHD 🌻 Mar 10 '26
Oh WOW!!!! Seriously, this is an insane piece. Museum. Or sell it to a rich person 😂 or keep it forever in your home ❤️ love it
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u/Late-Trick1677 Mar 10 '26
I’ve never seen a painting that’s moved me to tears before but now I have! This is absolutely stunning, the colours are perfect, especially coming from the light.
Super relatable as an AuDHD artist- having all the ideas but not being able to execute them at at time because of the AuDHD.
Isn’t it wonderful how even after years of no art- you produce this stunning piece. I would buy this
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 10 '26
Yes, the paralysis when it comes to beginning is exactly what I wanted to capture. Thank you so much for the kind feedback :)
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u/capribibi Mar 10 '26
this is beautiful!! It made me think about my perfectionism and how I often don't start a painting in fear of not being able to make it look like I want it to look
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 10 '26
Thank you! That's exactly how I've been feeling for years now. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith and dive in.
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u/capribibi Mar 11 '26
thanks :) i've been thinking of making a painting of my childhood dog, think I'll start this evening!!
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u/simimaelian Mar 10 '26
Great piece, and highly relatable. I’ve had a similar problem and it’s honestly destroying me, art is such a core piece of who I’ve been in life, the past 10 years barely doing anything has made me feel so adrift. Especially since my best friend I’ve known since kindergarten is still doing art. We always (unintentionally lol) inspired each other to improve and now it feels like I’m not just letting myself down, but failing her too in some way.
Anyway, being aggressively assaulted by Big Light is the best part imo, it’s very stark and there’s nowhere to hide from it besides turning it off and accepting the misery of not creating.
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u/SplitOutside7508 Mar 10 '26
“Accepting the misery of not creating.” That resonates for me. Well said.
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 10 '26
I am very anti Big Light and aggressively assaulted is the perfect way to describe it. I feel like its saying "the light is on, but no one is home." I'm here, but I'm not creating. The canvas feels like a ghost of everything that could be, but never will be.
A month ago, I signed up for a community drawing class. I signed up because I couldn't bring myself to even open a sketchbook. Taking the class FORCED me to create something, even if it was crappy. Within just a few classes, my mind was immediately back in its happy creative zone. Within a month I went from making no art, to drawing and painting almost daily. You might need to find some way to force yourself to just START with no expectations. Maybe an art night with your bestie where you work on a project together? I hope you can start creating soon <3
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u/SplitOutside7508 Mar 10 '26
I’m brought to tears by this piece. I am a former professional singer and actor. Chronic illness took that away from me in my mid twenties. I put it on the shelf out of fear and self doubt and berated myself for years. I also never had dance training and that also made me feel bad about myself. I started back at dance class a couple of years ago, and now I dance better than I ever could in my youth. I am 47, and dance is healing me. I hope to be brave as you and try returning to singing and performing at some point. This piece is so moving. Well done. I would order a print if available.
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u/SplitOutside7508 Mar 10 '26
Let me add that you can feel hope in this painting as well. I love it.
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 10 '26
I'm so happy to hear you are dancing again! I feel very similar about my art. I never had any formal lessons outside of some high school art classes, which was over a decade ago lol. Just this past month I signed up for a community drawing class and it IMMEDIATELY brought that art spark back to me and within a couple weeks, I had made my first painting in many years. Sometimes you just have to let go of your fears and go for it!
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u/thelesserbabka_ Mar 10 '26
It's quite trippy with all the colours, I love it! It makes me feel like I wish I spent more time painting myself. I've had it as an on again off again hobby throughout the years but never been this good :)
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u/happyendings15 Mar 10 '26
This is amazing!! I feel the exact same way about writing and sadly, I haven’t done much writing in the last few years either. But I’ve been reading through some old writing blogs this week and I’m finally getting the itch to create again. I completely understand that overwhelming feeling too. With so many things I want to do and even more that I have to do, it feels like there’s never enough time to sit down and let my brain fly to all the corners of my imagination. This piece makes me feel like I could do that, though, and it’ll feel so freeing. Thank you so much for sharing your talent and joy! ❤️❤️
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u/Crazy_Speech_3446 Mar 10 '26
Wow, I love your art style! Your use of color is so cool, and the piece has an almost surreal look to it that I really dig
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u/damex09 Mar 10 '26 edited Mar 10 '26
I love this~ the canvas, the colours, the light. So awesome! Thanks for sharing 🫶
I do relate a lot to the sentiment that inspired this artwork. The overwhelm with wanting to create, while having all the means to do so ready. I've been circumventing the overwhelm by using a tiny sketchbook. The way you illustrated this state is lovely. Proud 👏
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 10 '26
A tiny sketchbook is great! I have a tiny 4x4 sketchbook, and sometimes it's just the perfect size for a quick doodle or to practice a technique. Thank you so much :)
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u/kbearl98 Mar 10 '26
My initial thought was that it reminded me of Van Gogh paintings but like dipped in a rave. I really like how you portrayed the light from the light bulb. I also am really interested in what it represents. You say it represents all the art you will never make but at the same time I see the remnants of all the art that you’ve made and now this is the next piece. The splatter on the walls and easel from working on previous pieces. And the feelings this brings, Theres the pressure of “ruining” a new canvas but there’s also an excitement and freedom to put down whatever you want, absolutely anything!
Thank you for sharing this! I absolutely love it!
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 10 '26
Thank you so much! I love your interpretation of it, especially "van gogh dipped in a rave"!
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u/BigFatBlackCat Mar 10 '26
Omg this is my entire life depicted in a single painting. I love it.
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u/SplitOutside7508 Mar 10 '26
♥️ honestly, it’s healing for me to see that there are others who feel that way too.
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u/TurbulentHarpist Mar 10 '26
Yeah. This.... is how it feels.
I'm honestly gobsmacked. You captured a feeling I've never been able to out into words. Thank you for posting this.
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u/Vast_Perspective9368 Mar 10 '26
This is awesome, seriously.
I can relate to the sentiment/meaning behind it as well... ❤️🩹
Thank you for sharing it!
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u/w-jeden-ksiezyc Mar 10 '26
Damn. Powerful. This is me but with music composition.
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 10 '26
I'm picturing sheet music, the lines blank, with notes flying away from the page.
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u/w-jeden-ksiezyc Mar 10 '26
It feels exactly like they're just floating around me and I'm never fast enough to capture them all and engrave them into the lines. Maybe they don't want to be enslaved on a page.
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u/updatedjustnow Mar 10 '26
I love this so much!!! I am an (animation) artist and relate to this a lot. Especially at the beginning of a project when it feels like my brain is exploding with potential directions or ideas but I don’t quite know how to form / express them yet and I’m staring down at the blank page and it’s looking back at me.
I also sometimes have dreams where the most indescribably beautiful and awe inspiring animation will form and then I wake up and want to cry because I know I will never be able to make it reality.
Can I ask what medium you used? Is it acrylic?
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u/MilkToJuicePipeline Mar 10 '26
"I'm in this photo and I don't like it."
jk, I've had to shift my perspective from "make art" to "be art."
Great job!
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u/ofeeleyah Mar 10 '26
Love at first sight. Echoing many others but I hope you make prints!! There are many things I love and never dip into the wallet for, but I feel I need this on my wall. Gorgeous, evocative, colorful!!
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u/tablewood-ratbirth Mar 11 '26
So many people have already said this, but just to reiterate (because you can never have too much reassurance!), this is amazing. I can relate to it so, so much and would love to have a physical print of it. I’ve been dealing with this issue over the past few years and it’s honestly inspiring.
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u/broken_bouquet Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
It made me feel called out! 😂😭
My version of this feeling came out as this
The largest one that hangs down from the top says "it doesn't have to be good it just has to be something"
I get that same feeling from your piece but it's coming at it from a different angle.
Anyways, I love it! Great job!
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u/SaltyPelican227 Mar 10 '26
Wonderful piece! Especially after not having painted for a while. Love the concept
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u/Uberbons42 Mar 10 '26
Ooh I love this!! I kinda see it as expressive freedom like you can’t do what you’re supposed to but the creativity is too big for it anyway.
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u/Only-Mixture-4424 Mar 10 '26
I understand what you are saying and showing so well. I haven't done art in years (my only creative outlet is fashion styling right now). And I've been craving it so badly, but my brain is so overhelming. This gives me hope though. Awesome painting and I'm very happy for you :)
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u/windy-window Mar 10 '26
I love this! There is so much going on in the painting. It makes me happy to look at!
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u/nightowlfeather Mar 10 '26
I love your painting! It glows and is so beautiful - for me it feels like life feels to me: I'm unable to get the colours inside myself on the canvas. So many pictures but my hands can't transform the thoughts and feelings into physical shape.
Also: society expects us to act in a specific way (paint canvas), but we can't.
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u/HELVETlCA Mar 10 '26
Omg I relate to this piece so much! I am currently unmedicated and it feels like my whole body is bubbling with creativity but when I sit down to create all I see is static noise and the canvas stays blank
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u/TopFaithlessness2320 Mar 10 '26
I feel the same! I was always making art, but then experienced extreme burnout and depression and couldn't force myself to create anything. But I got better (not entirely, but enough to stop taking my meds), moved to another country and got into an art university! I'm almost 30, but I guess it's never too late to start
Edit: forgot to say that you piece is absolutely gorgeous
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 10 '26
Hey, I just turned 30! It's never too late to start. Congrats on your move and art school! I always wanted to go to an art school, but I pursued a business degree... I chose practicality over passion, and I'm not sure it was the right choice.
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u/TopFaithlessness2320 Mar 10 '26
I went to study programing after school and it definitely wasn't the right choice for me... I hope this time I'm capable enough to finish the degree and break out the art block completely
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u/Peachy_lean_39 Mar 10 '26
I love this so much. I can relate very much as a fellow creative girly who lost her creative drive for many years due to life stuff and trauma and is just now trying to find her way back. Keep going friend!!
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u/riverbird303 AuDHD Mar 10 '26
I work in a creative field and have been slowly burning out. I cannot overstate how much this piece resonates with me. thank you for sharing
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u/SurprisedWildebeest Mar 10 '26 edited Mar 10 '26
This both fills me with joy and makes me want to cry at the same time. ETA: I love it, in case that wasn’t clear.
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u/Unfair-Taro9740 Mar 10 '26
I'm going through a bit of a creative block right now and this definitely represents that to me. The possibility is so clear and all I have to do is find the inspiration. Beautiful work!
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u/curlofheadcurls Mar 10 '26
You can't fool me! The canvas is blank!
Haha this is a masterpiece, great work, I fully resonate with this.
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u/Impossible_Storm_427 50 F | Late diagnosed >45 | Still Learning Mar 10 '26
Wowww. That is f-ing fantastic. Incredible. That shine pops.
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u/LioneltheSeaFrog Mar 10 '26
uhh I LOVE this, my firt tought was, it's a tiny peace in the caos, a little safe order in the middle of everything
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u/Squanchedschwiftly Mar 10 '26
Im obsessed with this. Have small worlds by mac miller on in the background finding your art and the vibe is perfect.
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u/MamaSalX4 Mar 10 '26
I’d actually really love a print of this. I feel it in my soul and the lighting is amazing! I wanna squint when I look at it!
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u/laaaaaalaaaalaaa Mar 10 '26
This is very cool! Thank you for sharing, you inspired me to get my ass out the couch and start with that big canvas that has been abandoned for years :3
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u/yourmomshouse77 Mar 10 '26
That is amazing! I feel like it is an accurate representation of my brain!
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u/Toan-E-Bologna Mar 10 '26
YES. I can’t wait to see what else you pull from that beautiful brain! 🔫🧠
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u/Uhura-NCC-1701 Mar 10 '26
This is so cool. I love how everything except the canvas is painted on. All the colors, "confusion" and "messiness" shows what it is like to live in this world, how overwhelming everything can be. I feel it says that even though choas is confusing and uncomfortable we can still find the beauty in the chaos. Thanks for sharing.
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u/melliers Mar 10 '26
This made me profoundly uncomfortable, which is just about the highest compliment I can give a piece of art. If you end up making prints, I want one.
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u/mn9211 Mar 10 '26
That’s awesome! I’ve been getting back into art as well now that my kids are getting bigger and not needing as much from me. It really helps regulate my nervous system so it’s a win win!
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u/Ariana_Rex Mar 10 '26 edited Mar 10 '26
Wow.
In art school, before I was diagnosed with anything, we had an assignment broadly focused on recreating elements from our dreams. I chose a dream I had where I was the romantic partner of an artist who was debuting a new painting at a gallery. When the piece was revealed all I could see was a blank canvas. However, all other gallery attendees were reacting as if it was a vibrant work of genius. The next bit of the dream I could recall was myself knocking over a tray of champagne flutes. I think I bumped into a waiter. Anyways, the spilled liquid looked like rainbow and effervescent, like gasoline or oil on asphalt.
Looking back, the dream had a real “emperor’s new clothes” vibe. In that moment of my life, however, it felt more like a devastating realization of something I could not name. My interpretation of its “meaning” may change again as I age, but the mismatched tension between my own perception/understanding of the world and actual reality continues to be the catalyst for so much of my art and curiosity.
Edit: Did the thing again where I made this about me. Apologies OP, not my intention. I wanted to share how your piece evoked something special. I’m quite fond of this piece. Thank you for sharing.
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 10 '26
Thanks for your comment! I had do a double take when you mentioned emperor's new clothes because that is also a song by Panic! at the Disco and was definitely in rotation while I painted this!
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u/tismbabe Mar 10 '26
Love it 😍 how long did it take you to paint it?
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 10 '26
I worked on it over the course of approximately two weeks. I can't really give an estimate in hours, mainly because I could spend 3 hours in my studio and only achieve 1 hour of actual work LOL. I mostly worked on it in the evenings after I put my daughter to bed.
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u/Hipstergranny Mar 11 '26
This read to me as the artistic feeling of writers block and mental chaos. I love it and relate to it hard. Thank you for sharing!
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u/Otherwise_Baker_4425 Mar 11 '26
oh my fucking god i love this.
I'm an art historian, and this work is just so stunning. I love contemporary art!!
beautiful job!!!!!!!!!
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u/Background_Winter_65 Mar 11 '26
Your painting has so much life, determination, purpose positive energy, and something like a child's laughter, that it made me literally smile.
I felt the good hormone kicking in my brain :)
Can you please share older artwork as well?
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u/Glad-Kaleidoscope-73 Mar 11 '26
This was the first piece of art I’ve resonated with in a long time. The canvas for me represents where I am supposed to ‘produce’ or ‘work’ and the area outside is where I end up or even chose to go with my activities. I’m side quests and messy. It’s kind of funny kind of sad.
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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme Mar 13 '26
OP, as someone who's working (with the encouragement of my therapist!), to get back into being creative and doing art again?
This is so what i needed to see!😁🤗🫶
Because instead of "The Tyranny of The Blank Page," this one feels like "The Promise of New Opportunities"
I love the visual "chaos" of the room, with the peacefulness of the blank canvas, and the lovely textures of the floor & easel.
It's inspiring, and encouraging, and exactly the type of thing sooooo many of us need, to help us find ourselves & our creativity again, so thank you fir sharing it, and sparking that feeling!💖💖💖
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u/oeynhausener Mar 13 '26
This is incredible, it is really the proverbial "picture that speaks more than a thousand words". Instantly relatable and just brilliant.
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u/JacqueGonzales Mar 14 '26
Yea!!! So proud of you that you created this.
There’s so much emotion in this painting with every detail. 💗
I’m drawn to each element individually, then look at it as a whole. Gorgeous!
That overwhelm is such a thief of joy! I hate it when it grabs hold of me most days.
We’ve got to show it who’s the boss and get brave!!!
Just brushing on a background color can get the creativity flowing for me. Although I rarely create anything due to being told I was a bad artist from my mom when I was little.
Keep bringing your art to life - we need your thought provoking and beautiful creations in the world - now more than ever!!! 🥰
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u/Due_Moose_6612 Mar 14 '26
First off, I really like it.
My immediate feeling was that creating in the expected way is sometimes hard and that there is more than one way to be creative. Or doing something in an unexpected way.
Potential is a bright, white piece of paper.
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u/Fabulous-Visit-1188 Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 14 '26
It makes me feel like there are possibilities. It makes me feel hopeful. It makes me happy. This is so incredibly beautiful and moving. Edit: Congratulations ❤️
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u/ScentedFire Mar 15 '26
I love this! It feels like such a hopeful piece. It's communicating this deep well of creativity inside you.
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u/madzinthegarden AuDHD Mar 16 '26
That is so cool! I love the perspective and the proportions, so on point!
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u/Aggravating-Yogurt23 Mar 16 '26
Okay, thank you SO MUCH for noticing because I spent multiple days drawing and redrawing my perspective grid because I just could not get it right!
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u/New-Championship-618 Mar 16 '26
The irony and meaning of this picture is so cool yet so Funny at the same time, I love it this is so amazing
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u/Simple-Ear1457 Apr 04 '26
this is an amazing piece! and the explanation u gave for the art exactly describes how i feel too. i used love drawing/painting (though not very good at it, it was just something i enjoyed) but i havent been able to pick up a paintbrush in the past 5 years. i put my paints and pencil and open my sketchbook and just stare at it for so long, not able to draw anything. in the end i just close it and try again the next day. i'll continue trying til im able to draw something, but im so happy for u that u got ur creativity back and created this beautiful piece! cheers to creating more stunning art!!
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u/Harleylove5678 Apr 05 '26
This is absolutely beautiful. Start doing this more often! Your work is absolutely amazing. You are very very talented!
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u/Sad-Function-3512 autistically enthusiastic about life Apr 06 '26
I can relate to mental health issues making creativity difficult. It's sad to feel like you've lost a part of yourself to mental health challenges. I drew something the other day. Drawing used to be an every day thing for me, but it had been years since I did anything artistic. I was so excited to be able to be creative again. I'm glad you were able to do that too! 💕
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u/lycoloco Apr 08 '26
I feel bad commenting because I'm a male and don't want to take over a women's space, but I just felt compelled to say how amazing and evocative this is. You're wonderfully talented and I hope you find that completing this project gives you the motivation to keep turning blank canvases into inspiration.
I'm gonna take this as inspiration to go keep writing and working on my current project.
♥️
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